Aa
Help protect my child
My five year old girl came home from a weekend at her dad's with a severe "diaper" Rash on her front and back bottom. She didn't have this when she left. I have had this problem several times before and she would also have a yeast infection. This has not happened in a long time, probably about 6 months. During this time we were under scrutiny from the court for custody. We have apart for the last 4 years so the court scene is nothing new. Anyway, this evening when she went to the bathroom there was blood in the toilet. We couldn't tell if it was from back or front bottom. I looked in her underwear and there is pinkish mucus discharge. Again, I can't tell if it came from the front or the back bottom. She says her bottom hurts when she sits but she is referring to her back bottom. My question is what could cause this? Am I over reacting to think that someone has hurt her? Should I watch it and see if the bleeding and discharge continue? Please someone help me.
Memamom
Memamom
My question is why is she still in dipers at five years old? You said this happens routinly, My concerns would have happened a long time ago. Like why does it only happen when shes with him? It might not be him maybe a friend or even granmother cause the girl to come home like this. I have a step daughter and every time she comes here i always make sure to set down and talk to make sure everything is o.k. or if she needs to tell me something. In this world today u cant be to careful.
oh yeah... another thing. Most courts allow for "reasonable phone visitation", so you need to check your court order and see what it says about phone visitation with your daughter.
I would NEVER give you advice because I am definitely not an attorney, but I have been through a divorce and at least know that he should allow you to speak once over a weekend with her.
I wouldn't say that if you call her 10 times, that he has to allow you to speak with her each time, but if you call - say on Saturday and she went over there on Friday, that should be okay. What you need to do is set up a time of day that works best for each of you for you to call and say goodnight to her on his weekends.
Maybe you could call at 5 or 6 or 7 pm, right before she goes to bed and say goodnight to her. That way, you could also speak with him and it would give either he or the grandmother an opportunity to voice any concerns that may be going on. It's just an idea. But, I have a lot of friends that are divorced and we all seem to go by this rule of thumb.
It doesn't work for everyone, but the parents need to talk and come to some sort of agreement to phone visitation. He can call on your nights and you can call on us.
Blessings.
I would NEVER give you advice because I am definitely not an attorney, but I have been through a divorce and at least know that he should allow you to speak once over a weekend with her.
I wouldn't say that if you call her 10 times, that he has to allow you to speak with her each time, but if you call - say on Saturday and she went over there on Friday, that should be okay. What you need to do is set up a time of day that works best for each of you for you to call and say goodnight to her on his weekends.
Maybe you could call at 5 or 6 or 7 pm, right before she goes to bed and say goodnight to her. That way, you could also speak with him and it would give either he or the grandmother an opportunity to voice any concerns that may be going on. It's just an idea. But, I have a lot of friends that are divorced and we all seem to go by this rule of thumb.
It doesn't work for everyone, but the parents need to talk and come to some sort of agreement to phone visitation. He can call on your nights and you can call on us.
Blessings.
I am also divorced and I agree that it can be difficult if the other party is not open to the dialogue, but I also agree with the other post that it is not acceptable behavior on either parent's part to just turn a blind eye and hope for the best.
These children suffer and it does NOT matter if the parents don't like each other or if it is a sticky situation for the father to talk about.. in the MEANTIME, the CHILD suffers.. just as in this situation.
First of all, maybe you could set up an appointment for you and her father to talk with the child's pediatrician in an effort to talk about common problems that he could help you make a list of how to deal with each of those. - or - help you come up with a checklist for him watch for, etc.
Here's a link to a book that could be helpful for him to read: Baby Girls: An Owner's Manual
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Baby-Girls/Theresa-Foy-DiGeronimo/e/9780641795206/?itm=3
( I do not know the author and do not make any claims to it's effects or contents, but it's a start or at least an idea of what to read or look for in a book for him)
With my ex husband, he really trys to keep an open dialogue. I buy her pads and I've talked with her about everything she needs to know. I've actually told him to back off because she is older. But, when she was younger, he would tell me how often her diaper was changed and even how her bowels were because of how diarrhea can really cause some problems for little girls. He was a man. And he is a dad. As a mom, it's just in our ballpark more because we are mom, and more-so if it's a daughter.
But, no matter what ... YOU are going to have to be the responsible one and YOU are going to have to step up to the plate for your daughter and take control of this situation for your daughter!
Be the mother that you know you are and just do it because your little girl needs you to be the responsible one for you, for her and for her dad... it's your child and you just need to do what needs to be done.
I know you can do it. It's difficult to talk about with your ex, but you have to.
I've realized through the years that if me and my ex had talked this much and in this much depth when we were married, we might have just stayed married and worked it out! It's funny.. we talk more now than we ever did married! ha ha
Blessings to all of you!
These children suffer and it does NOT matter if the parents don't like each other or if it is a sticky situation for the father to talk about.. in the MEANTIME, the CHILD suffers.. just as in this situation.
First of all, maybe you could set up an appointment for you and her father to talk with the child's pediatrician in an effort to talk about common problems that he could help you make a list of how to deal with each of those. - or - help you come up with a checklist for him watch for, etc.
Here's a link to a book that could be helpful for him to read: Baby Girls: An Owner's Manual
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Baby-Girls/Theresa-Foy-DiGeronimo/e/9780641795206/?itm=3
( I do not know the author and do not make any claims to it's effects or contents, but it's a start or at least an idea of what to read or look for in a book for him)
With my ex husband, he really trys to keep an open dialogue. I buy her pads and I've talked with her about everything she needs to know. I've actually told him to back off because she is older. But, when she was younger, he would tell me how often her diaper was changed and even how her bowels were because of how diarrhea can really cause some problems for little girls. He was a man. And he is a dad. As a mom, it's just in our ballpark more because we are mom, and more-so if it's a daughter.
But, no matter what ... YOU are going to have to be the responsible one and YOU are going to have to step up to the plate for your daughter and take control of this situation for your daughter!
Be the mother that you know you are and just do it because your little girl needs you to be the responsible one for you, for her and for her dad... it's your child and you just need to do what needs to be done.
I know you can do it. It's difficult to talk about with your ex, but you have to.
I've realized through the years that if me and my ex had talked this much and in this much depth when we were married, we might have just stayed married and worked it out! It's funny.. we talk more now than we ever did married! ha ha
Blessings to all of you!
Hi, thank you for keeping in touch. My daughter and I do talk about private areas and issues openly. I agree with you that it is a healthier approach. The problem seems to be with getting her father comfortable with these things. I have attempted to speak with him about hygiene and communication on many occasions and it doesn't work. So, I have begun asking my daughter to be "responsible" for reminding him that she needs a bath, or she needs to brush her teeth. It works sometimes but she is only 5. She forgets sometimes too...I am sure.
As for getting her to call me...I don't think he would let her. When she goes for her weekends I don't get to speak to her all weekend. If I call I am told she is busy and will call me back but she never does. Then she asks me when she gets home why I didn't call like I said I would. I always tell her that I did but she was having so much fun she must have forgotten to call me back. I realize that this probably isn't the best thing to tell her I am just not sure how else to handle it. I don't want to say, "Well I did call and your Dad said you were busy and that he would have you call me back." because I don't want to make her mad at him. I just don't want her to ever feel like one of us is the good guy while the other is the bad guy. If she ever comes to that realization I want it to have nothing to do with me or anything I have said.
Any suggestions would be carefully concidered.
Thanks again for all of your help,
Memamom
As for getting her to call me...I don't think he would let her. When she goes for her weekends I don't get to speak to her all weekend. If I call I am told she is busy and will call me back but she never does. Then she asks me when she gets home why I didn't call like I said I would. I always tell her that I did but she was having so much fun she must have forgotten to call me back. I realize that this probably isn't the best thing to tell her I am just not sure how else to handle it. I don't want to say, "Well I did call and your Dad said you were busy and that he would have you call me back." because I don't want to make her mad at him. I just don't want her to ever feel like one of us is the good guy while the other is the bad guy. If she ever comes to that realization I want it to have nothing to do with me or anything I have said.
Any suggestions would be carefully concidered.
Thanks again for all of your help,
Memamom
Addendum:
The youngest still has the problem--even with panties--if she is sick.
At her age, she is probably shy talking to her father about her personal areas.
You should probably have a talk with her and ask her(daughter) to call you when something like that happens again...
My oldest is only a year older than your daughter and she and I talk like adults about our private areas. I think it is a healthier approach.
The youngest still has the problem--even with panties--if she is sick.
At her age, she is probably shy talking to her father about her personal areas.
You should probably have a talk with her and ask her(daughter) to call you when something like that happens again...
My oldest is only a year older than your daughter and she and I talk like adults about our private areas. I think it is a healthier approach.
I think you should have an open dialogue with your former husband. Divorce is not an excuse for having bad parenting skills--for either one of you--court or no court scrutiny.
Diarrhea can cause irritation of the skin--sometimes even and upset stomach can do that--without maltreatment of any kind and with frequent diaper changes.
My youngest had problems with diarrhea and had sensitive skin--with eczema. My oldest never had any problems.
We used a thick cream on the youngest and used water wipes to clean her--we would just water down regular wipes.
Diarrhea can cause irritation of the skin--sometimes even and upset stomach can do that--without maltreatment of any kind and with frequent diaper changes.
My youngest had problems with diarrhea and had sensitive skin--with eczema. My oldest never had any problems.
We used a thick cream on the youngest and used water wipes to clean her--we would just water down regular wipes.
Thank goodness it wasn't something else...I hope she feels better soon. I'm very happy that you were concerned and took her to the ER. Thanks also for letting us know, I'm glad to know that there was a happier ending to this story. :)
I did take her actually that same night to the ER and her pediatrician met us there. The blood was coming from the "diaper" rash on her rear end. Not a lot but noticeable. He said that the mucus was in her stole as well not her front. Thank God! As best as we can guess she had some severe diarrhea over the weekend and her Father did not fill me in on it. The mucus was from the irritation the little virus caused to her intestines and the rash is from the same projectile poohing (if that makes any sense). I just wanted to let you all know that she is doing fine and we are so very greatful for all of your input and concerns. I am glad to have the ability to reach out to others in times of fear. I am so glad that it was nothing more than a small virus. I have asked her Father about it and he says, that she wasn't sick when she was with him and that she went to bathroom fine as far as he knows but his Mom (the grandmother) has a different story. I guess she wasn't even with her dad so he has no idea. Her grandmother told me that she did have some pretty bad diarrhea on Sunday and I asked her to call and tell me next time.
Again, Thank you all so much.
Memamom
Again, Thank you all so much.
Memamom
I did take her actually that same night to the ER and her pediatrician met us there. The blood was coming from the "diaper" rash on her rear end. Not a lot but noticeable. He said that the mucus was in her stole as well not her front. Thank God! As best as we can guess she had some severe diarrhea over the weekend and her Father did not fill me in on it. The mucus was from the irritation the little virus caused to her intestines and the rash is from the same projectile poohing (if that makes any sense). I just wanted to let you all know that she is doing fine and we are so very greatful for all of your input and concerns. I am glad to have the ability to reach out to others in times of fear. I am so glad that it was nothing more than a small virus. I have asked her Father about it and he says, that she wasn't sick when she was with him and that she went to bathroom fine as far as he knows but his Mom (the grandmother) has a different story. I guess she wasn't even with her dad so he has no idea. Her grandmother told me that she did have some pretty bad diarrhea on Sunday and I asked her to call and tell me next time.
Again, Thank you all so much.
Memamom
Again, Thank you all so much.
Memamom
Memamom, whichever is open tonight. an afterhours AMPM MedHealth clinic, or if your doctors have a clinic that's open this late, do that.
Memamom, whichever is open tonight. an afterhours AMPM MedHealth clinic, or if your doctors have a clinic that's open this late, do that.
>this evening when she went to the bathroom there was blood in the toilet. We couldn't tell if it was from back or front bottom. I looked in her underwear and there is pinkish mucus discharge.
Blood in the toilet and mucus discharge in a 5 year old are medical problems that need prompt evaluation. Who does she see for routine medical visits? Can that person/place see her immediately? That's the place I'd go.
Blood in the toilet and mucus discharge in a 5 year old are medical problems that need prompt evaluation. Who does she see for routine medical visits? Can that person/place see her immediately? That's the place I'd go.
Thank you, that is what I feel. Do you think I should take her to the ER? or the childrens clinic?
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