How do I get through to my 7 year old daughet

[AMBK]

I am worried that my 7 year old daughter is showing signs of anti social behaviour. After 3 years at school she has not made any (close) friends and rarely gets invited for play dates. I am working mum so after school she is taken care off by a nanny (who also takes care of our younger daughter who is 2.5). My nanny tells me that at play dates in my house she is bossy and expects her guest to play only games she ( = my daughter) wants to play. In general, if things don't go her way she can get quite rude and unpleasant. This year she has had some problems with her social skills at school as well - the school told me that she plays rough and she was also mean to some of the younger kids. After me working closely with school and monitoring her behaviour - these incidents stopped for 6 moths or so but then started again couple of weeks ago. I cannot think of any real reason why she would start to play up again. Academically she is very strong and has had highest marks in her first exams.

It is important to note that she was only child for 5 years and is still quite jealous of her younger sister. I have also noticed that she has started to lie in order to get herself out of trouble.

Yesterday she went for a play date at the house of one of the boys from her school - they had play dates before at my house and my nanny told me that they don't get on particularly well as they seem to be too much of the same behaviour. Anyway - the afternoon was hell!!!. His poor mother was so stressed and tired by the end of it that I felt a need to write her a long e-mail apologising for everything. This mother told me that my daughter was apparently really bossy, attention seeking, lying and even used F word (not sure where does it come from!)...all in all - at her worst behaviour.

I had a long talk with her last night but have doubts that it will make much difference.

How do I get though to her as I am worried that if she continues like this she will be labelled for her poor social skills?

AMBK

[mammo]

Make sure your daughter is getting a lot of attention, and is a big part of caring for her younger sister.  She needs to feel needed and loved.  When kids want attention they will take bad attention to none at all.  It's easy to get caught up in caring for a baby when you have one that is pretty independent, but her jealousy may stem from not feeling a part of it all.  Talk to her about being the big sister, and how her little sister needs her to teach her things and play with her.  Plan days for just you and her to do something special together, something she really wants to do. Praise her when she acts like a "big girl" and tell her how smart she is and how her little sister needs her help every day.  Once she sees that she can actually help her little sister, and interact a lot with her, they will bond.  Always make sure she gets as much attention as the baby.  I do think her jealousy is playing a big part in all this.  Good luck and take care.

[sania19]

try talking with her what going on in her mind why is she jealous with her younger sister . does everybody in house give more attencion to the younger one so may be she is not liking that . or may be she getting insecure that why she is rude to other . try giving her some confidence so that she does n feel insecure . try doing this may this help her and you.

All the best .