10 year old tantrums

[LivRose]

I live with my boyfriend and his ten year old son. He is a wonderful and very brilliant child. he is very smart and gets all As in school and loves sports. However, he has these horrible tantrums where he wont speak to anyone and we can't even figure out why he is upset. His parents have always been split up and all he has ever known is going back and fourth. On top of all of this his mother has a bipolar syndrome and hasnt spent very much loving time with him. When he is with us we give him lots of love and praise we also giving him responsibilities around the house. But we can't figure out why he gets so angry and so quiet. It's very frustrating. My boyfriend seems to think he is angry that i live here because for the past ten years it's just been him and dad. We don't know how to help him?

[LivRose]

You are exactly right. He had a talk with Tyler last night and told him i was a part of this family and i wasn't going anywhere and he tried to tell him the different types of love the love you have for a child that will never change and the love you have afor a girlfriend and he tried to show him how their quality of life has changed since i came into their lives and he just said he didnt want me to be in their family. And to your comment about my presents being positive. i have to say that when his father is not around we have a blast, he never stops talking to me about his day at school his friend his cats. we go to the mall and get matching Michigan State shirts and play games together but as soon as his father walks in the door he wants his full attention, which is to be expected but its 530 and i making dinner and then we have dinner and his dad works out and we spend time playing a board game or watching american idol together then its bed time. However, every sunday is their day together and they spend time out of the house alone or i leave and they hangout around here. He has everything a ten year old child could ever ask for.

[RockRose]

I think probably your boyfriend is dead on right - that he's angry that you have moved in and taken attention away from him.  He's from a broken family,  and his "touchstone" is his father.

If somehow your presence could be a positive - that he gets MORE attention because there are two adults in the house - that might help.  If he sees you as an added benefit rather than someone who ***** his father's attention away.