First u as a mom should always stand by ur child. Secondly as a wife, u should never keep things like this from ur husband. Now for the actual issue, it is better to have this looked into then to be wrong about this. If she was molested then ur so called friend will have a past, someone had to be first. Not to mention who is vulnerable to him now. Wouldnt u want someone to report this if ur daughter(s) were next.....
It's sad that guy is out there somewhere ;(
I am not a child psychologist but I work closely with several and they would say to take this seriously. Absolutely without a doubt take this seriously and keep the friend away from her. 3 year olds dont make up this kind of thing (this level of sexual understanding is more developmentally advanced than what a normal 3 year old would come up with on their own). Keep her safe-she needs you to take action to protect her now more than ever. You can minimize any damage from this later on by keeping her safe and showing her that she can come to you for protection.
As a mother whose child told her something similar at age 5 . You must believe your child because if you don't do anything about this than the out come is much worse. Make her feel safe in a safe environment. I would not tell the father this until you are away from the situation. Predators will lie. Don't let it get any worse and never put her back into that situation.
You absolutely must tell the police and CPS about what has happened! CPS and police are trained to deal with this situation and can avoid traumatising your child! It's not good enough to simply avoid the perpetrator and only see a doctor. Other children are at risk if you allow him to go on unprosecuted! Imagine if someone else knew what he did but decided not to report it because they decided to just avoid him? That person would have been able to stop him hurting your beautiful children. All Children deserve to be protected from him not just your children! As a person who works with abused children I can guarantee he will offend again. No one will blame you for not knowing what was going on but they will definitely blame you if you let him abuse more children because your to embarrassed to report it
You need to take your daughter to the police station immediately!!!!!! They can have a pediatric psychologist talk to her! And have a medical exam done. Take this very very VERY seriously!!!! Please! I'll be praying for your kids and your family!