My 6 yr old is making death threats! Help

[msmelinda]

I am a single mother who recently moved from FL to PA. I am engaged to a pilot from PA originally and we have chose to live here. I started my son in Kindergarten this school year and up till then he was a great kid. I am a fairly strict parent in that he must follow rules at home or there is a punishment. We use different methods to see which works and often my son decides what he thinks his punishment should be. He is extremely smart and is already reading on second grade level and picking up Math so fast. The class does not even do half the things he does and he loves to learn. I can tell he is a bit OCD and it shows in that he likes to have everything perfect and clean. He has been having trouble in school with other kids. I know it stems from being an only child and not going to pre-school much. But this past month it has gotten so bad. He threatened to bring his nerf gun to school and shoot the kids. Then today he said he was going to bring an ax and chop ppl up. He hates being told what to do by anyone and verbalizes that. He tells his teacher he hates her and does not have to listen. They are worried about him, because he is one of the sweetest kids usually. He hates when he hurts someone and apologizes when he does not follow the rules. The big issue is that I see none of this. He never does this at home and follows the rules of the house. So i feel horrible cause I have no clue whats going on. He was suspended today and I have made an appt with a counselor for next week. I am afraid their immediately going to put him on meds and tamp his creative side. He is so amazing otherwise. He writes amazing stories, poetry, and sings so well. I feel like i am missing something here and I dont know how to help him. Can anyone give me some advice?

[msmelinda]

thank you so much for your inputs. I feel like i am such a horrible mother right now, cause i just don't know what is going on. I have a good feeling its aspergers but he has his first counsel session next Wednesday. I'm nervous and excited. I hate to think that anything is wrong with my child, like I'm sure you all are, but whatever helps at this point i will do for him. My future mother-in-law brought up the same issue with the diabetes and it really hit home. So i am dealing with this and trying not to have anxiety attacks. lol.  I had some people I work with talk to him. I work with a company that works with trouble and disadvantaged youth. They are counselors and therapists. They immediately thought that he might have this aspergers. So I read up on it. I finally felt like i understood my boy. I always thought he was just a bit eccentric from being around me and all adults, but OMG it was like finding my sons name in the dictionary and finding his explanation. I of course cant dx him but i feel much better and a bit worse at the same time. does that make sense?

[angelinamarina]

hi, I would not assume that meds will take away his creative side.  I know from first hand experience that meds do not do that to a kid.  Also, if meds are needed it is really not a good idea to avoid meds because the brain will sort of stick in this mode, and not change to find a "new normal" like it would with meds IF they are needed.   And, this is more to the second poster...should a kid with type 1 diabetes go without insulin because it is a drug????  WHY would you want to deny a kid an opportunity to FEEL BETTER and have an easier life???????  (IF they need drugs that is!)
And, a threat of violence could just be a way of handling the trauma he is having at school or he could have asperger's, anxiety, childhood bipolar, or a number of other things.  It does sound like he has sensory issues and the previous poster is so right on about sensory issues possibly being worse at school due to noise or kids.  My daughter has this issue and we have been sending in ear plugs to drown out some of the amazing levels of noise that go on in her classroom.

good luck.

[Mumto2Boys]

I'm no expert, but you may want to talk to the school about having him evaluated by a occupational therapist. If he has sensory issues that are heightened at school (too noisy, crowded), an OT can work with him to overcome those issues and deal with them. I know death threats can be serious, but in Kindergarten it can also be a way to deal with stress when a child feels threatened and doesn't think about consequences (doesn't really mean it or realize its impact). If he's still doing it after counseling and really explaining how serious a death threat is, than I would take that part more seriously. A general evaluation to get a diagnosis would give you a good plan to work with.

[msmelinda]

I also did not mention that he recently started sometimes looking out of the sides of his eyes instead of straight on, walks on his tip toes sometimes, and hates loud noices except for music.

[Roni11]

I think counselig is the way to go and you don't have to put him on meds. I am going through kinda of the same thing and I have discussed this with my aunt who has been a teacher for over twenty years. I believe they have different methods to dealing with this.  Just don't put him on medicine because the side affects are crazy.