6 year old son is out of control! Please help!!

[techia]

My 6 year old is out of control! It only seems that he is out of control when he is at home with me! He has gotten into trouble only 1 time at school but he acts like he is crazy at home! it does not matter what I do to discipline him it does not work!  I am wondering if I should begin taking him to counseling or see if he has some kind of disorder that I am not aware of.... Please any suggestions would be great!  (Personally I just think he hates me!) :'(

[specialmom]

Hi,  I agree that if he does fine at school and the issues are mainly at home that he most likely does not have a disorder!  That is GOOD news for you!  So you just have to work on things at home.  I have another book that I recommend and it is what our school uses with parents that are working on "things" at home.  It is called "Love and Logic".  It is about natural consequences.  You may do some of this at home already as I found I do.  If you scream--------- I will not listen to you.  I say it is because I can't understand you but I ignore my boys completely until they use a normal speaking voice.  Then I give them my full attention.  If they throw a toy, they lose that toy------- I take it.  That kind of thing.  If there is a consequence that naturally follows their action---- then they may think twice about doing something.  

What about a bean jar------- put a bean in for doing something you ask or responding the right way or doing the right thing.  When he gets to so many------- he gets to choose an outing of his choice.  My kids also like to get coins when they do the right thing, help, or are just plain well behaved-------- they put them in their piggy banks.  When the banks are full---------- we open them as a family and count their money (good math practice) and then they save half and spend half on something they want.  The key is to not get too huge of a piggy bank so that you open it every 5 or 6 weeks.  It is amazing what my boys do for a nickel.  Catch him doing the right thing and praise like crazy.  Even things that he SHOULD do and you shouldn't have to praise-------- praise him anyway.  Switch the attention he gets at home to positive vs. negative.

Do you go to parks, run around outside, ride bikes, go swimming?  All of that helps calm a child's nervous system and make them easier to manage.

Also, think about school.  It is usually very rule based, calm (teachers don't blow up and yell usually), and structured/routine.  Try to make your  home like that.  Some kids in kindergarten and 1st grade also are trying to hole it together at school and get really tired and lose it at home.  This IS better than at school but not ideal either.  So maybe making his bed time 15 minutes to a half hour earlier would help.

Just some ideas for you--------- good luck

[techia]

Thanks, I will look into the book!  I have started a new rules/reward system as on Monday and so far it seems to be working.  We are still having some issues but NOTHING like it was before.  So I am going to take one day at a time and I know God will help us through.  Once again thanks for your response.  

Be Blessed,
Techia

[jdtm]

Children usually do not hate their parents.  And since he is able to behave appropriately in school, I doubt very much if you are dealing with a "disorder".  Dr. Kennedy on the Expert Behavior Forum constantlysuggests this book - "SOS Help for Parents" by Lynn Clark.  If you google the title of the book, you should be able to find out more information.  Also, see the following site for more information (www.sosprograms.com).  Hope this helps ...