my three ear old is out of control

[heather8530]

My son has alot of medical problem he had three brain surgery and he  autistic and has a really bad angry problem I need help What can I do to get him to listen all he doing is beat me up with toys chairs and anything he can pick up and scream and cry all day long I tried taking thing from him and time out and spanking him nothing is working

Please help

[Sandman2]

    For any consequence to work it has to be consistently repeated, and repeated, and repeated.  It can take up to three weeks for the child to realize that you mean it.  For example, taking away his legos is ineffective.   "out of sight, out of mind".   Its much better to take him away from playing with them (a timeout), and then return him to them.  You can only take the legos away once.  You can remove him many times.
   Is he getting therapy help from professionals?

[heather8530]

For have tried that he got the mind of a 1year old

[Sandman2]

   If he is autistic, the public schools will help you and provide classes to help him.  Its very important that he get into therapy as early as possible.  
   Second, spanking will only teach him to hit you back.  He needs to learn other ways to express his anger.  The rule is that when he starts a tantrum - he gets a short timeout.  And the timeout does not start until the tantrum stops.  He will go nuts for a while.  Just keep repeating - "as soon as you choose to stop your tantrum, the timeout will start and 2 min later you can ..."   Do not try to reason with him or talk with him while he is yelling.  You are just playing into his hands.
  Essentially, the rules for behavior modification are that there must be immediate, short, consistent consequences.   Do not expect overnight miracles.  It has taken him awhile to get to this point and it will take a while to relearn control.  But he will.
   I would also look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced.  Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger.  You do not try and use these techniques while he is screaming.  But once he stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here -  http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5