Has she ever had an EEG? I might get her one, in case she is having seizures.
I agree with the two women above. A teacher was kicked in the face by my daughter because they tried to restrain her. Guess what I told them? It was their own d*mn fault for being foolish. They ended up asking my daughter to leave, but life isn't fair.
Try your hardest to figure why she is throwing fits. What triggers her? Is she in pain? My daughter has temper tantrums when she is constipated, tired and hungry. She has bowel problems and is occasionally in pain. Kids also get growing pains and so many other things. The world can seem like a scary place to a little kid because they are aware of how helpless they are.
Is your child seeing a therapist? Is she seeing an occupational therapist or a behavioral pediatrician? There are things that you can do to help her besides physically restraining her and scaring her! She could seriously get hurt if you do that.
Your BF should not be restraining her that is frightening to a child , in my opinion something is upsetting her if as you say she has no behavioral issues at school or anywhere else .You say she destroys her bedroom, what has happened prior to that behavior? She has 2 older siblings , how do they behave towards her are they kind or are there problems with their attitude..my gut feeling is more is going on with the dynamics of the family ...
DO NOT RESTRAIN THE KID, YOU WILL WIND UP HURT! I think if I were you I might take her to a developmental pediatrician and see what they have to say. There could be lots of reasons that she has one.
You should kindly ask her to leave the room and come down when she is calm. Maybe even put her in her room. Give her some type of cooling off space. Do not talk to her when she is not calm, do not pay any attention to her when she is not calm. Let her know that when she calms down you will give her whatever she wants.