Tempermental 6 yr old

[DeilaG]

My 5 yr old (soon to be 6 yr old) has always been difficult.  He is very smart, has many friends and is very well behaved at school.  At home, he has so many temper tantrums and we have tried everything.  He screams and pouts all the time.  We are not the parents that give him what he wants or ignore him.  We use firm but calm discipline but nothing seems to work.  Playdates usually end up in an argument.  If kids do not do what he wants, he gets very angry and then acts mean to them.  He can also have social anxiety in new situations -- has a hard time talking to grown ups and sometimes can not even say hello to people.  He does well in extracurricular activities but free-play always ends up being a problem somehow.  He seems to be lacking empathy and is only concerned about himself.   At the same time, he is very sweet with his younger brother and can be very nice and sweet.  He has never been one to sit and cuddle or sit still for any longer period of time.  Could all this mean something or is he just a typical 6 yr old testing limits? Any suggestions?

[yoyita72]

do you read spanish?its easier 4me 2 type in spanish.

[jdtm]

He can also have social anxiety in new situations - your words

I think your answer is in this sentence - I suspect social anxiety is your son's problem.  Children who suffer from anxiety are usually able to "hold it together" in social (and perceived unsafe) places such as school, but when they arrive in a safe and comfortable place (as the home), then often all that frustration and stress comes pouring out - and this is what I expect you are seeing at home.  I doubt if your son lacks empathy - his brain is so full of "anxious" thoughts that there is little room for anything else (he is in survival mode).  

I might suggest you google the phrase "children and anxiety" or "social anxiety and children"  or similar words/phrases to better understand this condition.  It doesn't appear as if your son suffers from severe anxiety; however, some articles or books on the internet might offer some suggestions.  I suspect your son needs more "down time" - and continue with the firm and calm discipline.  Raising a child suffering from anxiety is not easy but with patience and understanding, it is doable.  I  wish you the best ....