Toddler Behaviors - Cause for Concern?

[bigneutron]

I am sure my question, like questions from other concerned parents, is common.  I have a 4 year old son.  For the longest time I have shrugged off some of his behaviors as just being a kid.  But lately I have been getting more concerned.  So I thought I would write some medical forum for someone else's opinion.  My son has always been afraid or shy in social situaitons.  Nothing that bad, but some times it takes him a while to warm up to the situation.  He has always been very afraid of any person dressed in character - Santa, mascots, things like that.  If he sees one he will mildly panic and avoid the situation.  He has been getting better with Santa.  In the last year or so he has begun to tug on his ears a lot and he is very afraid of any situation that is loud.  I took him to a show recently where there were lots of kids and it was loud.  He basically shut down, sat there covering his ears, twitching his legs.  We ended up leaving early.  At the time he said he wanted to leave, but later he said he had fun.  He also clears his throat a lot.  He has been sick, but I am beginning to wonder if it is illness or behavior.  He also has been picking his lips a lot.  Again, I don't know if it is dry skin during the winter, or yet another behavior.  He has never liked large social gatherings with lots of people.  Just today we went to church and he cried because he didn't want to set up front close to the musicians and vocalists.  At home he is pretty good.  He has a younger brother and is pretty good with him.  He has to be watched carefully as he can get aggressive towards his younger brother.  Some times though at home it is hard to get him to focus.  Usually it is a lot of babble/singing (he sort of sings, but the words are just babble) and running around the house or fidgeting at the dinner table.  It is a struggle to get him to stop and focus on things like eating for example.  I guess I am just an overly concerned parent.  Right now his behavior is not so disruptive to force talking to the pediatrician.  He goes to preschool and several gym type activities weekly.  He always does well with them, although recently he has been saying he doesn't want to go to preschool.  The preschool teacher says he has been fine, but they noticed he has been more quiet lately.  If I am just overly concerned and have nothing to worry about, please tell.  I would feel so much better.  If there is something I should research and pay more attention to I would like to know.  I often wonder about Aspergers, Autism, ADD, Tourettes or some maybe some other anxiety disorder.  I pray that he is just a boy being a boy.

[bigneutron]

Thanks for the quick response.  I agree with everyything you have said.  There is a history of some psychological issues on his my (father) side of the family.  I would characterize myself as having maybe some anxiety issues, although it has never impacted my life (I might have thought about seeing a doctor a couple of times throughout my life).  I don't think it autistic spectrum.  I think that would have been diagnozed by now.  He has not shown any learning disabilities.  He has normal language, does well at school, plays in an imaginary way, he has at least 1 friend he really likes at school (working on the play date).  With the sports classes he does very well.  He immediately interacted the first time.  I guess I was more concerned with the ear tugging, lip picking and throat clearing.  He just will not leave his ears along - he even gets after his brother's ears too.  Maybe it is a compulsive thing.  I agree that knowledge is power.  I plan to keep a watchful eye and will try to get more info from the teacher at the next meeting.  I have talked to the pediatrician a little - mainly the ear thing.  It was hard to tell at that time because he had an ear infection.  I think I will continue to monitor the situation and work on his social interaction skills.  Thanks for the advice.

[SL345]

It's hard to know from your description because there's a lot of overlap between different problem areas and the problems you described. The overriding impression, though, is that of a shy and anxious child with some sound and/or others sensory sensitivities. If he has normal language at school, makes reasonably good eye contact with familiar people, plays in an imaginary way, has 1-2 friends with whom he can have successful playdates, it's less likely to be autistic spectrum. But, if you're concerned, why not talk to people like the teacher, pediatrician and others. Is there any family history of anxiety, shyness, ADHD, autism or related conditions in the family? My attitude is knowledge is power. What's the downside of investigating further. Experienced teachers see many more children than any parent will ever see. I have a 6 year old girl who has always been shy and we have had to work with her a lot on trying to be brave in various social situations, greeting others, etc. We had her psychologically tested to decide whether to hold her back to give her extra time to build her confidence and it was very helpful. If you trust the professionals who know your child, think about involving them in a discussion. If there is a problem, even a small one, early intervention is the name of the game.