Unfriendly Toddler?

[Carol325]

My Daughter is 17 months old, and I’m concerned that she’s not “friendly” to family or strangers who admire her.

My husband and I adore our first born daughter, and have the means to expose her to a variety of kids classes and activities.  We are very affectionate with our baby, and practiced attachment parenting when she was a newborn (except the co-sleeping).  She gets plenty of love, independence, exercise and attention at home.  Frequently, we take her out to museums, beaches, Gymboree classes, and parties where she is given the opportunity to socialize with adults and children.   She is a very affectionate, and fun-loving child to me and my husband.

However, I have noticed that since she was about 3 months old, she does not like anyone other than her immediate family holding her or playing with her.

As she grew into a toddler, this “cold” behavior seemed to be more apparent as she does not smile at strangers in the mall, or even to her relatives who she sees once or twice a year.   We just recently had the baby’s aunt over for the entire day.  The baby played well with the aunt, just as long as the aunt did not touch her, hold her hand, and hug her.  If the aunt tried to do any of those things, our baby would start crying and would run away from the situation.  

I am very perplexed at our baby, and why she is not friendly.  She is extremely smart, developmentally on track, and no red flags have been raised by our pediatrician.  Can you provide me with any insight on her behavior?  Would she grow out of this soon?

[MBJ985]

I have the same problem with my daughter who is 2 1/2, she is alot of fun and adorable around home but when she is out in public, even with extended family, she won't smile and isn't  friendly. I take her to story hour and she doesn't respond to the other kids she just likes to sit (or stand) and watch everything going on around her...I guess she is just shy, but it's so hard to watch, I just want her to be like she is at home, fun and friendly, oh well hopefully she will grow out of it!!

[jdtm]

I suspect she is more of an introvert than an extrovert.  Some people (and children) just take longer to "warm up" to others.  Don't push it and I suspect she will be just fine - although probably never overly outgoing.  And sometimes, that is a good thing.