need help for my daughter's anxiety

[lynn1973]

Hi, my daughter is 10 yrs old, she has anxiety and has trouble sleeping. She gets shaky and feels scared to go to bed. I have tried relaxation music, soft lighting, some hypnotherapy, talking about her fears, having a tv on quietly to help distract her, etc. It used to be that she knew what she was afraid of and we could try to address it, hypnotherapy can work sometimes for this. But lately she says she just feels scared, weak, and shaky and doesn't know why - it is the feeling that scares her, she is afraid she will get shaky and scared, then it happens. I don't know how to help her. She is very shy, and so  counseling doesn't really help either because she will open up to me more than anyone else. She has anxiety other times too, but it is the worst when she tries to sleep. She also sometimes sees spots when she first wakes up, and last time she had a stomach virus she passed out after she threw up, it was scary because she saw black for like a minute before she lost consciousness. She sleeps a lot once she gets through the falling asleep part, and still sometimes wets the bed at 10 yrs old, (which she hates!) she still seems tired after sleeping 11 hours sometimes. She is smart and gets very good grades, which goes along with her being worried to always have everything right. I don't know if she also might have a deficiency that would be making this worse? Has anyone had experience with any of these? Does anyone know of a natural remedy that is safe for kids that might help?

[lynn1973]

I definately don't have all the answers for you,but my daughter suffers from anxiety also, and I do know of something if you are willing to try it. I don't know where you live- I live near Seattle. I am taking classes now in hypnotherapy, I decided to take this course partly to be able to help my daughter, but I'm not far enough into it yet. I recently started taking my daughter to see one of my instructors that works with kids. She has given her tools that she can use to help to make the bad thoughts go away, and it has helped. Last night in class we learned about therapy for fears and phobias. They can take him back to what memory is causing the fear and have him work through it, and do what he has to do to not let it have control anymore. I know some people are afraid of hypnosis, but it truly isn't mind control- It is in his subconcious which doesn't always listen to reason without help. My instructor was telling us last night about a lady she is working with who was terrified of flying, and now is flying to las Vegas this weekend- her fear was caused by something completely unrelated to flying, but they figured it out and she worked through it. At least you know what caused his fear. It is very important to find a good hypnotherapist who works with children though. Depending on where you live I may be able to get a name for you if you are interested-  I know what it feels like to have tried everything for your child to not have to live this way, I wish you well.

[Suzz1191]

Here is my story in a nutshell.
My almost 7 yr old boy a month ago was sick with a virus and ended up fainting at a walmart. Right before he fainted he started to freak out he couldnt see ( common before fainting I am told) . Well we were rushed to hosp. sent home told normal he is sick. About a month after he had an episode where his vision went funny again and he got scared. Then a few days later while I was tyring to put him to bed . he was in a mood and wanted to go to his dads and suddenly started to freak out and i mena freak out...saying he couldnt see..He was shaking, and I got him settled down. We were up all night, went to emergy the next day, MRI scheduled and told it was normal. No answers....The issue is my son now lives in a constant state of fear that this thing with his eyes is going to happen again.
wont sleep at night..he goes to bed fine...I leave the light on as he requests, then he wakes and is full of fear ALL night.I try everyting from sleeping with him to telling him enough is enough..no matter which angle nothing works..He is terrified that the eye thing is always going to happen. he has freaked himself out so much that he thinks he feel and sees spiders, he is full of fear and noone is getting any sleep. I was up the other night with him from 230am on..he never went back to sleep. Then went to bed at 7pm and woke from 9 to midnight.  last night e was up 7 times to the point he had the runs and almost puking ,...all fear based...
talk to his teacher who said she is seeing definate withdrawn from him and tiredness, they are trying to get in the social worker asap.  He is constantly afriad that the eye thing is going to happen so any little change he is freaking out...We left a parking lot the other night , it was dark and he said turn on the light!!!! thinking it was dark cause he couldnt see.
How can a happy healthy child go from no worries in life to being full of fear now.
I feel helpless . i dont know what to do or how to help him...On one hand I have been trying to NOT feed into it and make it worse, I have tried being supportive and talking to him, tried everything....I hope this is just something that will pass but he is fixated on it right now
. We have a family history of anxiety..I dont want him to be plagued with this now...

[lynn1973]

Thank you so much for your response! It feels good just to have someone understand what it feels like to watch your child go through this. What is trazodone? Is it an anti- anxiety? since it was taken at bedtime, does it make them tired? I know she has already told me she doesn't want to take meds. but I want her to feel better- I have tried so many things that I don't know if it is an imbalance or what. She was always very shy, but not so worried! Was your daughter shy? My daughter would also have a hard time sharing with a counselor. She is going into 6th grade next year which is middle school here. This is scary because it changes from the safety of grade school to like a junior high where there are more classes, lockers, drugs, relationships, I don't think this will help her anxiety. She always says she doesn't want to go to school and she wants to be home. I found a school near here that is a parent involved public school where they only go 2 days a week and the other days they do school at home to complete the assignments they were given under parent supervision, this is nice because it takes the pressure off me to homeschool myself, yet they are home more and in a small school setting. It makes me feel hopeful that your daughter found relief, I want that so much for mine. I live in a suburb of Seattle- so i will try to find something- When I mentioned it to a pediatrician last check up because we could never get into her regular doctor, they always seem rushed there, she said they send kids like that to counseling, and don't medicate. That's about the length of her explanation. That's not what I was looking for- I don't want to medicate either and I know she won't talk to a counselor. Since then I have switched pediatricians office, so hope I have more caring, and thoughtful help from her! I would love to see her happy again - like I said she was always shy, but wasn't afraid of the dark before, or going to sleep, and being alone like you were saying, she won't even go take a nap in the middle of the day because she doesn't want to be alone. I'm not sure what could have made this worse, we have had a lot of stress the last few years around here. I hope my daughter finds the happiness again like yours has! Thanks so much for your message, I hope to hear from you again- the hope is good!

[Alisonj29]

My now 13 yr old girl suffered from anxiety at a young age. It was started around stress from her father pushing her to move in with him. She was anxious alot, didnt sleep was very scared to be in any room alone, it got so bad I had to homeschool for half of her grade 7 year. She was in therapy with Childrens Mental health but she really hated going. She didnt open up and it felt intrusive to her. I had my doctor refer us to Kingston Hospital to a unit that specializes in children and anxiety, mood disorders and depression. They end result was that she was put on trazodone low dose at bedtime. I was very reluctant to put her on it but I wasnt sure what else to do. She slept better instantly. It took about 2mnths before I noticed a huge change in her. She was independent, and not so anxious anymore. She agreed to try a different counselor and  they made good progress. I was shocked to see the difference in her. She returned to school and became a happy young girl. She came off the trazodone about a year after taking it and with the therapy she managed along great. I would take her to your doctor and ask to be sent to someone that specializes in children. She deserves to be happy and carefree. I hope that they will be able to help you find some help for her. Wishing you the very best and keep us updated.