6 year old child is very troubled

[danielle78]

My 6 year old son has alot of mental problems and I don't know how to help him. All he does is cry, he won't listen to any adult, he has a big problem with lying, and throwing huge fits. He was admitted into a mental hospital for trying to cut himself and his behavior. I feel stuck because I don't know how or what to do to help him. Do you have any suggestions for me on ways I can help him?

[angelinamarina]

I do not think mentally ill children should be punished the same as a typical child.  I have a mentally ill child and I know for a fact that if we punished her like a typical kid, she would always be in trouble.  And, she is very much like my older brother who was punished like a typical kid in the 50's/60's and I am saying that he turned out to be a mess.  It is not good to continually be giving a kid direction and telling him he is wrong which is what happens when you are a parent to an unmedicated mentally ill child and you try to treat them typically.  Seriously, give the kid a break and get him the meds he needs.  Be there for him and try to not be too judgmental.  LISTEN to him and ask a lot of questions without getting angry or showing anger at the answers.

[skepticalpeach]

I would actually suggest that you have pets around for him. It will help him much more in the long run if he can learn how to be nice to animals. There are a lot of studies that show that pets help people deal with depression and other emotional problems.

Yes, you should not ignore his problem. It's very serious, but I don't think he is beyond help. Also, just because he has a problem try not to treat him like he does, it will help him so much if you treat him like a normal person. Punish and reward him just like you would a child with a stable mind. The more different and left out he feels the more he is going to act out.

[angelinamarina]

WOW.  sorry to hear this.  What I see is possible hereditary biological issues coming through.  A lot of us with some mental conditions/addictions/ etc  make babies with other people who are similar.  So brain chemistry issues can arise in our children in a big way.  This sounds like possible severe adhd, or maybe bipolar.  At any rate, the mental hospital is the best place for him until they figure out what is going on.
A few weeks in a foster home, bad parenting, or whatever cannot do this to a person.  It is physical.  He should be treated as if he has a severe illness....so i am not saying he should not be responsible for his actions, but do not be too hard on him.  

[margypops]

Its great you are clean ,congratulations , it must have been tough, it would be good not to have animals around as he is mean to them.I am assuming that has he has these problems he has a health advisor and is getting therapy, I guess if he is better with your parents maybe if it was possible he should stay with them whilst treatment is going on, he could be jealous of the 2 year old a lot of older siblings are. Good Luck it would be better to ask your Doctor for more help.

[jdtm]

admitted into a mental hospital for trying to cut himself and his behavior  - your words

This is a serious sentence.  What does his doctors say re treatment and advice? I am assuming there is a physical component to his mental health issues - as a chemical imbalance or overactive section of the brain.  You will not want to hear this but - were you taking drugs and/or alcohol when you were pregnant with this child?  If so, you may be dealing with the repercussions of those actions.  Whatever, I believe the person to whom to direct your questions should be the mental health physician who was involved in his hospital stay.


And he is also mean to animals - your words

This sentence is also worrisome.  Many research studies have reported that childhood cruelty to animals may be the first serious warning sign of later problems. Such behavior appears to be linked to conduct disorders, delinquency and criminal behaviour.  I really think your first plan of action is to seek advice from your son's mental health professional.  

[danielle78]

He loves being with my parents whenever he is with me if he doesn't get his way he starts to cry and says he wants to go back to there house. He lies about everything, he is mean to his younger brother who is only 2. And he is also mean to animals. He was taken years ago because I had a drug problem but now I have beenm clean for 2 1/2 years.

[margypops]

What does he lie about ? How does he get on with his grandparents, are they patient with him, he sounds upset so maybe check out whether he likes being with them, they are probably doing their best but for a 6 yearold to have these issues there is something amiss, a red flag goes up in my head at your post .could you share with us the reason he was taken from you ?

[danielle78]

He hass 5 siblings 2 that were adopted  away from us that he never knew. He lives with his grandparents right now but he will be coming back home to me soon. When he was 1 1/2 he was taken from me by dcf and placed into a foster home for 2 weeks before he went to my parents home. He has been thru alot for a 6 year old. But my parents and I just don't know what else to do for him to help him. When he wants to he can be a very good child.

[margypops]

Goodness that is a lot for a 6 year old to be doing he is certainly upset by something in his life, what happens prior to this , has he any siblings apart from you who has an influence on him?