My 7 year-old son is stays with my parents for a month each summer. He has Asperger's and as a result, very few friends. My husband and I always supervise any social interaction with his peers and have never allowed him to play without supervision. My mom called today to let me know that they let my son play at the next door neighbor's house and that there had been an incident. The neighbors have a son the same age as mine and the two boys have been fast friends all summer. One of parents have been with the boys at all times until today, and it was the first time my son went to the neighbors house. I was told that the other child's older sister, who is 16, was watching the boys while their parents were at work, and walked in on the boys experimenting sexually. She rushed my son back, told my mom what happened, called her mo at work, who them called mine. When questioned, my son said that his friend wanted to play a game, so they took their clothes off and got under the blankets on the bed. He said that his friend wanted to kiss his privates, and so he let him.
My mom sat my son down, and talked to him about keeping our private areas private, even for our friends, and that is not okay for anyone to touch your private areas. She left it at that and then let it go so as not to make a big deal about it to him. I guess the other mom called and was pretty upset and embarrassed by the whole thing. I know that the other boy must have seen this somewhere, and I hope it was accidental exposure rather than something that was done to him.
However, I have no idea what else to tell my son. My mom told him exactly what I would have, and I am afraid to talk to him too much about it and make a big deal out of it, especially with his Asperger's. I plan to continue to bring up the privacy issue and not allowing others to see or touch our bodies, but I don't know if I should bring up this incident anymore. My husband and I have been extremely careful to not expose him to sexual imagery, and I am really concerned that this is going to cause lasting problems. He never forgets anything, and really obsesses about new situations. So far, he doesn't seem upset by the incident, but I am going to watch his behavior to see if anything changes, but I know that this could present problems in so many different ways.
Because he is 7, what kind of lasting effect can this have on him, and what else can I say to let him know that that is not acceptable, without making him feel ashamed?