Where is the line drawn for kicking a child out of daycare?

[Mandee775]

I am a daycare/preschool teacher. I teach 3 and 4 year olds. I have one child in my class who does pretty good during the day but when she acts out (won't follow instructions, repeatedly does the same thing over and over, won't stay quiet at nap time) and is told to stop or is sat in time out is just completely defiant. She tells me "NO!" and kicks and screams. If she is told to be quiet (especially at nap time) she will just look at me and keep saying words (random words) loudly. If she is told to lay down on her mat she will keep getting up and readjusting her blanket and pillow. She refuses to take a nap. She says "I can't close my eyes" or "I don't know how to take a nap."

Her mother doesn't seem to care a terrible amount. When the director talked to her about it, she basically said "Well she is only three years old." She brought in a bigger blanket and a pillow and a bear for her to lay down with, but it doesn't help her lay still or stay quiet. She fights sleep like nothing I have ever seen before. And has woken my other kids up multiple times, and i can't them to go back to sleep because she doesn't stop being loud.

For getting her to go to sleep i have tried white noise for music, I've tried patting her back, rubbing her back, holding her hand, laying next to her, I've tried letting her watch baby videos from my phone that are supposed to put children to sleep and make them sleepy. I've tried positive reinforcements such as offering a prize if she took a nap. I've tried everything i can think of, she does not seem to care. After that i tried just giving her a quiet activity like reading a book or matching games. But she talks to herself the whole time she does it (and she doesn't talk quietly). When i ask her to keep her voice down or zip her lips, she does it for about a maximum of two minutes.

She just started last week at our daycare. I don't want her mother to be upset when she comes in to pick her up and her note that goes home says she is misbehaving everyday during nap. But its becoming unmanageable. I plan activites/games/lessons during nap time and i can get anything done when i'm constantly reminding her to be still or lay quiet or not to talk.

If you're a parent of a child, whats the best way for you to communicate with your childs teacher? If you're a daycare provider, what would you suggest?

Is any of this means for asking a child to leave the daycare?


This discussion is related to Behavior Problems - Daycare.

[margypops]

Oh I do agree a nap time should be offered but this child from the original post 'wont stay quiet at nap time ' I think we all agree its darn hard to keep a small child quiet if they are not tired.there should be another room where they can play and read if they dont want to sleep.  Anyway thanks guys I just dont get it , some children are still expected to nap to 4 years old I hear .bet they don't sleep at night and parents wonder why .

[adgal]

Here the law is the same. The option must be provided, but I agree they should never be forced.  And absolutely should never be made to feel they are bad for not sleeping.  As I mentioned, days my 2 year old won't nap, he just goes with the older kids and it works just fine.  Our daycare has never made this an issue at all.

To say to just throw a kid out of daycare for that?  That is not in the child's best interest at all.  Some moms have to work (I am one of them) and it is not easy finding affordable and more importantly, good quality child care.  For all the kids under 5 or 6 at my sons daycare the option to nap is offered (so a different daycare wouldn't be a solution at all, they all have the same thing), but having alternatives for the kids that don't serves everyone just fine.  

[specialmom]

I just wanted to add that it is an okay thing to 'offer' a nap in my mind as some kids need it.  My kids WERE nappers.  My expectation would be that if my child couldn't nap for a day or every day that they'd have an alternative plan for them during that time.  No child should be thought of as "bad" because they don't want to sleep.  

[skepticalpeach]

The laws are confusing. Teachers in IL and MN told me it was a federal law. I'll have to look into a little more... I think if the school/daycare is open for more than 5 hours they have to provide a nap time.

[specialmom]

I believe it would be a state to state law as there is no law on the books for my state.  I've looked it up.  

[skepticalpeach]

The law in the US states that kids must be given the option to sleep for that long. They don't have to, but the option has to be available for them. Many children do need that sleep and are sleep deprived, but for those that don't it's very frustrating. When my DD did nap at school she would be up late into the night (11pm or 12am). She only needed 11-12 hours of sleep. At one school they let her chill with the older kids in another room. At her current school she'll usually sit and play quietly with a puzzle or book.

At one school the teachers would take their lunch breaks during nap time and that's why they got angry she wouldn't sleep. The law isn't for the convenience of the teachers, it's to make sure that all children are getting the sleep they need. There is a huge portion of the population of children that are sleep deprived. I see where the law is coming from, but I think they need to reduce the mandatory time.