adhd & odd

Question

when should tell the child about adhd & odd, it been 3 months that child been told have adhd & odd, father wont agree with the dr recommending. want know when should i tell my child have adhd & odd? i know for years that child have it but father never beleive me then he finally admit he have adhd too and that he knew his child would have it before he met me.. what i am suppose to do? as single parent. a should i tell my child have adhd & odd?

This discussion is related to adhd/odd\.

sherryson · Answer

Hi @LONELYNESS, I have a daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD. 
At first, I try to assess it by myself but I realized that I am not expert and I should seek professional help from a psychiatrist. Currently, I'm slowly convincing my daughter to take her medicine because it's for her own good.

Sandman2 · Answer

I am always amazed at how little people still know about ADHD and how it affects the "whole" child.   I am also the CL here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175  - feel free to post over there too!
        One thing to keep in mind is that what you really want ( I hope) is not so much consequences for his behaviors, but behavioral modifications to change his behaviors.   Depending on his age, some of his behaviors really aren't his fault.   I am really glad to see that you openly talk with him about his ADHD.  It is so important for a kid to understand what is going on.  So many kids wind up depressed, or ridden with anxiety, because they don't understand this.
       You might find this link helpful.  Its a list of books  (and reviews of the books with suggested ages) that deal with ADHD in an age appropriate way.  You and he might find them useful.   The link is - http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/550.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=September
    Thanks for your reply and let me know if you need any more info.  Best wishes.

MammaBohn · Answer

My child has struggled with ADHD for going on 5 years now. At first no one wanted to admit that he had a problem. They all said that I just needed to learn patience. After arguing with his father and other nosey people about it at length, they finally accepted the harsh reality that our son has challenges. 
My child now understands that he has ADHD and that he has consequences for those behaviors related. He still struggles in school ,and Home, and in group settings. But it is important to me that he understands why he is acting out and what will happen if he continues his behavior. 
 While we struggle daily with his "behaviors" he is aware of what is going on and when he needs a break, and why. He also understand that his behaviors /"ADHD" is not an excuse to be a JERK! We talk about it together and it helps both of us!

Sandman2 · Answer

I do hear you.  The one thing that I didn't know was the age of her child.  I was assuming that since she had known it for years that he was closer to 9?  And I think that somewhere around there is an appropriate time to tell.  I think that what you have done is age appropriate, and you have put it into words that he can understand.  The worst thing I feel is for kids to not know why they are feeling the way they are.
  I think my major reaction is that I have seen so many posts from adults who never knew (granted they may have been undiagnosed), and if they had known sooner - it would have made a difference.
   Knowledge is important - when it can be understood.  And BTW - I was really amazed about my last 7-10 years of teaching to hear kids openly talking about having ADHD, etc. like it was no big thing.  But this was in a high wealth district where the parents probably could afford doctors that would take the time to explain it to them.  Its still struck me as funny, that the stigma in the 70's and 80's didn't seem to be there.

specialmom · Answer

This is very interesting Sandman.  I've never sat down and told my son that he has a developmental delay or sensory integration disorder.  I tell him his engine runs too high and he has to do the things necessary to keep it "just right" but that is it.  I chose to do it this way because he has always felt different and I believed that this would just confirm it.  He was diagnosed young though and we've done so much to help him that he now pretty much does blend in with the other kids.  Maybe now but I still think a little older would work best to tell my son.  

So it is really interesting to me to read your reply here.  I'm going to think about that.

BTW, I've overheard my son saying to his buddy's "do you go to therapy?  You should!  It is really fun!"  speaking of his occupational therapy.  But the first time he overheard me saying we were going to his therapy appointment, his head whipped around and he said "Going to Miss C is going to therapy?"  

Anyway, you always give me things to think about Sandman.

Sandman2 · Answer

You definitely want to tell the child.  The consequences of a child not knowing while growing up are very bad.  You also want to do all you can to help the child.  The easiest way to do so is to get the book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   It will tell you how to help your child at school and at home.  Its only about $10 through Amazon.  I post a lot over on the ADHD forum.  If you have any other questions, I always check out that site.  Best wishes!