help with my 3 year olds behaviour

[cjbunts]

only have my son at the week ends as separated from his mum over the last year his behavior has got a lot worse and he wont eat hardly any food at all and has started to get aggressive towards his younger brother and the cats. he does not say 1 clear word you can just about make out maybe 5 ish words by tone and pointing.
his mum tells the health visitor that he says hundreds of words and eats well but that is completely wrong.
he does this around all my family members and my partner family so its not just with me.
i'm worried about his weight and his health.
i've tried time out for behavior and that just does not work

please any help would be greatly appreciated

[specialmom]

Hi.  I think it can be really hard on a little guy to go back and forth between two homes.  Some of what you are seeing may be due to that.  It is really hard to have one place you are at MOST of the time and then go to another place.

Hopefully you have a good relationship with his mother.  That is the best thing you can do for this child because if you continue to have concerns, you'll be able to talk to her about it in a reasonable way with both of you sure that everyone has the child's best interest at heart.

At three, some kids are easily understood and some are not.  My son had articulation problems.  He has some motor issues.  So, look for the development of your son's fine motor skills.  If that is off, then a speech eval. is in order.  But honestly, both of my boys outgrew speech issues.  They were primarily articulation, as I said, and now at 6 and 8, we have no issues.  

good luck

[margypops]

Is his younger brother from your new relationship its possible that he had some jealous feelings , maybe some one to one time with you would be good How about you ask him what he would like to eat, there are some great foods for children out there, it could be he isnt used to the foods he is given , if there is a step mom how does he get on with her does she like him   .

[adgal]

Him not eating a lot isn't something to be overly concerned about, unless it is impacting his general health.  Toddlers and young children have times where they eat extremely well, then they don't.  As long as he is being offered healthy food, you cannot force him to eat.  If he is losing a lot of weight, or is malnourished, then it needs to be investigated by a Dr.

As for his mum saying he says lots of words, she may not be making that up.  I can often understand what my son is saying even if others can't if that makes sense.  But it does sound like he needs to be checked out.  Littlebit's suggestion about hearing is an excellent one, and if that checks out, I would then suggest having a speech therapist or perhaps other forms of intervention.  His Dr. is a good place to start.

All the best to you.

[littlebit667]

oops missed the heading!  He needs to have a complete physical including his ears.  He may have hearing loss or ear infections or continual fluid that is causing this speech concern.  He is old enough for an audiologist who works with children to check his hearing.  The doctor can talk about his weight and height.  Can you have the health visitor to visit at your home??  

[littlebit667]

how old is he??