Oh gosh, I'm so sad for you boy. You know he doesn't want to do this. At 8 this must be very embarressing for him. Does he not get the signal that he has to go? Ask him about this. The other suggestion is to ask his teachers to have him go to the restroom and try to go every 45 minutes. Yep, it is excessive, but better than the alternative. He could wear a watch or have a little clock on his desk for it as well but the teachers could remind him. Then I'd start tracking a time schedule-------------- um, most kids are regular with the time they go. If a pattern of time starts to evolve, that is when he is sent to the bathroom.
Good luck to him------------- it must be very hard on him.
Sometimes children get constipated or even blocked up. A doctor can see this with consectutive x-rays. My nephew had this problem. Its not his fault, he can not feel the bowel movement coming through. Once the bowels have become blocked due to constipation or some other means, the bowel streches and allows the new feces to move around the blockage. This streching causes the nerves to loose their sensitivity and he can no longer feel when he has to go. Its very tramatizing for him at any age. He needs to see his Pediatrician, who will probably have you use several different laxatives. Some soften the stool, some stimulate movement but my nephew was taking Milk of magnesia X4 dosages daily, as well as metamusal and ex-lax. It took four days of medication before his bowels were clear, and even after that, the nerve damage does not go away over night. The bowels have to heal themselves and the feeling comes back a little at a time. The bowels blocking up can also cause them to pee their pants at the same time. Once the bowels are cleared, those symptoms begin to go away gradually, but a routine bathroom visit is necessary and continued laxatives and monitoring by a physcian. Please know that this is not immaturity or intentional on his part, HE CAN NOT FEEL It, It just happens, and please don't get frustrated with him, relapses are a regular occurance. Talk to Pediatrician, Dr. suppervised Laxatives, lots of water, fresh vegetables (weather he likes it or not.), Regular bathroom visits and lots of love and support. Also, try to make bathroom time a little more interesting with maybe a Video Game player like, PSP or Nentendo DS; Or some kids books and magazines to read. He needs to stay on the toilet weather he goes or not at least every two hours. Some children hesitate to have a bowel movement because of pain or they're in a hurry to get back to playing. Also, the bathroom is a source of disappointment for him right now, making it more kid friendly and not so threatening will help. He knows that you expecting him to have a bowel movement and might even tell you he has gone, to get your approval. He's just a kid. I hope it works out for him. This is a very important time at his age. Best Wishes and happy holidays.
Has your son ever been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum - maybe Asperger's(which is high functioning autism).? This is a common problem with some brain disorders. That is just something to consider. My brother's son has the same problem - but he doesn't go at school, just at home. My brother and sister-in-law don't want to hear that he might be on the autistic spectrum (I'm sure it's Asperger's). He is now 11 years old and he's only smudging his underwear for the most part (pooping is only happening occasionally at this point). He does average in school, makes poor eye contact and doesn't interact with other kids very much and tends to go into his own world when he's playing. Sometimes Asperger's kids are exceptionally smart - the "little professor" is sometimes what they are called. Afer rereading your above post, I should have asked if this problem has just surfaced recently or has it been occurring for many years? I hope someone is able to help you. We all hurt for our kids - I have three kids and all have a genetic hairloss problem that runs in my husband's family - they start at 8 years old and by the time they are 21 you can see their entire scalp. So many of us on here know your pain and the want for our kids to fit in and be "normal". Life's not easy. There's the phrase "this too shall pass". Hang in there. If you don't find the answer you need on here, just keep reposting until someone familiar with your problem answers your question. In the meantime, give as much information about your son as you can.
Does he have other problems? Has he been a stomach complainer in the past? Does he know ahead of time that he has to go to the bathroom? Is he embarrassed when this happens or does he seem unaffected by the accidents? The more details we have, the more answers you'll get. Good luck!