my son is afraid to go to bed and afraid to be left alone

[magine]

my son is 7 years old and is very nervous and sensitive to any form of violence in childrens tv shows or pantominnes he has gotten to the stage where he wont be left alone in a room even during the day he refuses to go to bed at night point blank i honestly dont think he is faking it cause i can see the fear in him and feel his heart racing i think his fear is geninuine and not put on he says he hears noises in his room and no amount of reasoning will convince him otherwise what do i do any advice would be appreciated

[Peach1978]

Of course, this is one of the first thing that came to mind when his action started to be repeated. I asked him why he does this and he doesn't know. I asked him if anyone has ever done this to him and he says no. I tell him that if anyone ever does this to him, it's wrong and that he should tell me.

Like any self-blaming parent I think about how my own actions might have affected him.
I have been separated with his father since January of 2005 and in July of 2008, I started a new relationship (we now live together) but I wonder if our new relationship has affected him (we hug and kiss in front of the kids (but never overtly sexual).

Again, since my separation with his dad, he has slept in the same bed as me and when my partner came into my life and we moved in together, I made the transition with him to his own consistent bed but my son has had a very hard time of letting go of his space in my bed. He does now sleep in his own bed but it might be worth noting that he had a hard time with it and still asks for me to sleep in his bed with him and everyday wants to "cuddle" in bed (which consists of me hugging him and looking at his face and talking). He gets upset with me if I can't or don't have time to cuddle (which is about a third of time he asks me).  

I don't really know if this has to do with it but he's unlike my daughter's in this sense where he is much more needy (my girls ask for cuddles but not everyday).

Maybe it's all irrelevant information but I really am just trying to think of what this could be from because if I can figure that out, I can correct the situation.

You're right about not letting him play alone with others though. I will definitely be keeping a watch for him.

[specialmom]

Hi, I've noticed several posts regarding your son.  Do you think something might have happened to him when he was a little younger?  He does seem over sexualized at this point.  He has an interest in boys and girls that would have me wondering about a past babysitting experience.  While curiousity is completely normal, he seems very driven with it.  And while so far it has been family and people close to you that he lifts up skirts and what not, as he gets older, this could get him into trouble.  He may outgrow it but you describe what I would say is slightly beyond what I'd expect of a child his age.  (not that he is way out of range, but slightly).  So I would try to talk to him a bit not so much about the behavior but the whys of it and try to dig a little bit about the past.  The phobia and fear and needing a safe person around kind of fit.  I may be way off base, and excuse me if I am.  But your posts worried me a bit about your boy and something possibly happening to him.  (and try not to leave him alone with his younger siblings until he stops the behavior and don't give baths together.  )  Good luck.

[Peach1978]

When my son was 5 years old he developed this phobia of going in to a room alone. We tried "Goblin spray" which was really just coloured water with a label on it but this only worked for a little while. He seems to be a reasonable little boy most of the time so I was surprised at why he would suddenly fear being in rooms alone. One day he wanted something from the house and I was in the car - I refused to go inside the house with him to get it and he screamed at me..(remember at 5 years old) "Mom, you just don't understand" it was a very teary affair and I of course I felt like a horrible mom but shortly after that...he has calmed this phobia down. Now instead of being afraid to go into a room alone - he just likes someone to be on the same floor as him. I figure he'll just grow out of it.