Normal 4 year old or is it the teacher?

[bobaloou]

I have had my 4 yea4r old out of Day Care the past two months, they said no problem, this fall we will have a slot for him, just come back when you are ready. (Had already paid the tuition fee for fall) So, when I informed the director which was my child's teacher last year in PK3, she being the director asked,
"Is he going to be able to sit still during the activity hour, and the story telling time, without being disruptive?"  Well, gee, I was thinking, probably not, given that he has been staying home with me the Dad for the past two months.  Let's see, fishing, swimming, the park, hummm.  Probably not.  She informed me, if he doesn't conform to the class norm in the first week, we might want to look for another day care. Yaeh think?  We really kike this one, can anyone give us a clue so we can feel right, or we the only ones that think that in a class of 90% girls, that he is a dead ringer for acting up.

[specialmom]

I believe she asked that question because he has had disruptive behavior in the past, correct?  All kids are active and crazy and wild sometimes---------  but what a teacher/daycare refers to when they are concerned is that the child may be outside of what is typical.  I have two boys--------- one at 4 could sit and attend to any situation although he was a wild maniac outside of that and another that could not.  

There is a very wide range of normal and typical in 4 year olds, don't get me wrong.  But a school that has multiple children can pick out of the group which struggle more with attention and being disruptive than the others.  And since you were re-enrolling him in the school and they already knew him, that is how I read this situation.  They are worried due to past behavior.  

I'm not saying you have a bad boy or a child with an issue---------- I'm just saying that they are trying to tell you that this new class has expectations of what goes on in class.  If I didn't think my child could handle the expectations and it was uncomfortable for everyone (a child that is constantly having to be redirected will eventually suffer low self esteem and become unhappy because no one wants to be the kid in trouble all of the time . . .)------ then I'd look elsewhere for another situation.

As I said, I have two boys that are fifteen months apart in age.  One thing I'd recommend to any mom of a child that is on the 'active' side is to do as much outside of school hours to run that energy off.  Get your son to parks to run, climb, slide, roll, swing, jump, etc. as many times a week as you can.  Take him swimming (the perfect activity for an active nervous system), kick soccer balls, etc.  Just get him moving all the time.  It really helps when they have to sit in circle time.  At 4------- honestly, most kids CAN sit in circle time for an amount of time.  I'm sure your preschool has developmentally appropriate alottments of time to each activity.  At least I would hope so.  Does your boy start kindergarten next year?  

It's hard when we like a school and it isn't the best match.  You can always take your chances and he may have matured developmentally a bit from when he was last there.  He may end up doing great.  good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I would look for a daycare that has a larger group of boys than girls.  

[tinkerbell1124]

Well first of all, he's 4!!!!!! He's going to act up sometimes. When my 4 year old is at home, he never sits still. 4k is for learning and playing and teaching kids how to play with one another. I would think it would take MORE then a week to get him use to the class room setting again. My 4 year old was in summer camp( where he's going to START school for the first time) I'd say it took about 2 weeks for him to adjust. And every 4 year old will have there day!!! To me it's the teacher being lazy and NOT wanting to deal with an active boy!!!