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How to handle my 12 year old's actions
My 12 year old was caught twice on an internet porn site. The second time he was disciplined, he made implications like he was going to hurt himself. I asked him, and he didnt deny it, I am extremely worried about what he would do. How do I handle this situation.
we have two boys......Our family went thru the same thing- you are not alone- the boy had computer in his room.
Now he's 17 and still is restricted to computers being in public view at all times. He never questioned it being a trust issue either- it was like we were helping him "to avoid the near occasion of sin."
You just have to set your house up that way no matter how inconvenient.
My eldest son used to threaten self-harm too when he was disciplined- he was older and on drugs though he was about 16. We talked to the school principal about it (she was also a personal friend) looking for some answers. Now this may not be true in your case but she said:
"He wanted attention- you gave him lots of attention for saying that"- there was no real easy answer since HE had drawn away from us so much- it was not our choice- we wanted him back in our lives. Bottom line- he is now clean- no drugs, college graduate (psychology degree), owns his own business. He did have some psychological help back then. A child psychologist. He was gifted- you know sorta too smart for his own good sometimes- and knew how to manipulate, and sometimes that is what suicide threats are about too.
The porn is not acceptable. He needs 'busy hands" if you catch him again Have him paint the house.
Will keep you in my prayers.
Now he's 17 and still is restricted to computers being in public view at all times. He never questioned it being a trust issue either- it was like we were helping him "to avoid the near occasion of sin."
You just have to set your house up that way no matter how inconvenient.
My eldest son used to threaten self-harm too when he was disciplined- he was older and on drugs though he was about 16. We talked to the school principal about it (she was also a personal friend) looking for some answers. Now this may not be true in your case but she said:
"He wanted attention- you gave him lots of attention for saying that"- there was no real easy answer since HE had drawn away from us so much- it was not our choice- we wanted him back in our lives. Bottom line- he is now clean- no drugs, college graduate (psychology degree), owns his own business. He did have some psychological help back then. A child psychologist. He was gifted- you know sorta too smart for his own good sometimes- and knew how to manipulate, and sometimes that is what suicide threats are about too.
The porn is not acceptable. He needs 'busy hands" if you catch him again Have him paint the house.
Will keep you in my prayers.
You can lock out porn sites on the internet, but like most young boys, his curiosity is going to lead him to find it, or another indulgence, somewhere.
Sparkyle, I'm not quite sure of what you're talking about.
A 12 year old boy, given freedom on the internet, will look a couple times a naked women. That's a pre-teen, and if the images he was seeking were typical pretty naked smiling women, the problem becomes that he isn't being supervised well enough. He needs to have his internet time supervised, so he doesn't do this anymore. I'm not passing judgement, I have teenage boys, just tellin' ya it's time to move the computer to a public area where you are, and make sure the "history" is never cleared.
I'm not quite sure about the hurting himself. What happened?
A 12 year old boy, given freedom on the internet, will look a couple times a naked women. That's a pre-teen, and if the images he was seeking were typical pretty naked smiling women, the problem becomes that he isn't being supervised well enough. He needs to have his internet time supervised, so he doesn't do this anymore. I'm not passing judgement, I have teenage boys, just tellin' ya it's time to move the computer to a public area where you are, and make sure the "history" is never cleared.
I'm not quite sure about the hurting himself. What happened?
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