stealing food

[fineAG]

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. They are generally well behaved, good in school etc. The problem we are having is they constantly steal food- goodies, I mean, not like making a sandwich in the middle of the night. They eat well and often and we have regularly scheduled meals and snacks throughout the day. I am passionate about nutrition and we eat very healthily (is that a word, sorry), but they do get cookies, gum, and other marginal food- I'm not a food Nazi, as long as they eat their meals I'm fine with the occasional not so great snacks... we have removed as much as possible to minimize temptation, but there are still snacks in the pantry meant to go in their lunches, or for example candy we bought to give out for Halloween this week- at their ages, there is just no place they cannot access short of locking cupboards which I am against on principal- we are family!! Am I kidding myself that they should be able to break out of this habit? It's very upsetting to me and I definitely overreact when I find the evidence, I am just so continually shocked that they keep stealing even knowing that it sends mommy over the edge, let alone that I really believe they do understand that it's wrong. They don't steal anything else from anyone else. I feel sure that this is pretty common behaviour in this age range but don't know how to react properly or guide them toward abandoning it. Any help would be ever so appreciated!!!!

[anniecatalano]

I had to install an alarm on my son's door. He only steals at night when we are asleep. I have found this has prevented anymore night time raids in the pantry and the consequent lying that follows (which really angers me). When we hear the alarm, we get up and ask him what he is doing out of his room. He used to try to sneak out of his room a lot when we first installed because he was testing us to see if we would always hear it. No more though. Just have to be sure to change batteries as needed and be sure to turn it on each night AFTER he goes to be so that he cannot disarm it (it is mounted to the outside of the door). Maybe this solution will help some of you.

[Sandman2]

    I am not sure what you were reading.  I said, " As long as it is healthy food, he should be able to snack on foods.  At meal time, he should be eating most of what you eat.  Its really a lot about what you have in the house. "
    Maybe you were replying to another poster?
    And I do agree with you that learning how to self regulate is important.  Its the "learning" that is the tough part.  Especially if the "teaching" part is not as good as it should be.

[senategary]

To hear you say they should eat whatever they want whenever they want is insane.  It makes no sense at all.  Life is full of rules.  We don't get to follow only the ones we like!  Further, there are reasonable ways to affect change.  I can't imagine any of these moms, saying no to a small serving of something even if the kiddo isn't hungry.  I'm sure they'd be happy to include the treat in the following days snack even.  

The part every one WITHOUT children experiencing this challenge is missing is that the children are showing no regard for for the rules/laws.  Instead of finding a reasonable and acceptable (within that family) way to affect change, they chose instead the self-pleasing way of getting what they want REGARDLESS of the affect on those around them and then show no remorse.  

That's the real issue.  Learning how to self regulate and live within the law is paramount to a healthy happy adult life!   Folks weighing in without some experience with the issue/challenge are just adding to an already tough time f for these people.  Keep your opinions to yourself if you're not qualified to share them.

[specialmom]

What type of medical intervention have you sought?  Has the child taken medication?  

If a child has had extreme trauma in his early years, it is only natural that this child will needs lots of support.  

And if you are suggesting that this is hoarding and psychological eating, then a mental health professional should be on board.  Most mental health conditions ARE treatable.  

So, to me, a professional approach to such a situation is essential.  Rehabilitation to the point of inpatient care may be necessary.  good luck

[2Buckeyes]

Old thread or not, for those of you that have never lived under the same roof with a compulsive eater/hoarder, you come off as sounding VERY judgmental when you call the upset parent a "food Nazi".

We live with such a child, & his stealing has caused our entire household problems. He dampens every special occasion with his behavior, & leaves all of us feeling like prison wardens.

This child endured severe physical & psychological abuse the first 4 years of his 9 year old life. He doesn't just steal "yummy snacks", this child has stolen & eaten everything from cheese, cereal, fruit, corn chips, v8 juice, dry oatmeal, to dry uncooked beans! He will eat literally ANYTHING!!!!! He will eat spoiled food that has been put in the trash! I've had concerns that he's stolen & eaten the pet food! This child, given the opportunity, will eat until he vomits! Not just a little in his mouth, but HUGE PILES of vomit all over his room!

As far as I can see, there is no cure in sight. Sadly, he will undoubtedly wind up EXTREMELY, MORBIDLY, OBESE when he is eventually on his own. Until then, it is my duty as a concerned & responsible parent to monitor his behavior.

And, like someone else mentioned, he KNOWS what he's doing is WRONG (from the sneaking, to the stealing, to the hoarding, to the hiding of the evidence, to the lying), but he LOVES doing it. We have tried numerous consequences, with no positive results. Because of his extreme abuse & neglect, he values NOTHING (except food). You cannot hurt, punish, or love this kid enough...

Best wishes to all of you struggling with this behavior. My heart goes out to you.

[nursegirl6572]

It's always so nice to see an update!  Hopefully others that find this will be hopeful that their child will also kind of grow out of it as yours did.  It's so frustrating as a parent when we see something amiss but just cannot figure it out or find a practical solution.

Best to everyone in this situation, it's a tough one!  It's just nice to see that parents are concerned about their child's well being and health!