will this ever end?

[southernbell2020]

My ten year old step duaghter is pees her pants almost every day. this started back when she was 4 and has continued until now. We have taken her many diffrent Dr's, uroligists and a counselor and all of them are as puzzled as we are becuase they have no idea why she is continuing to pee. She does pee her pants at night but her pediatrition put her on DDAVP and that seems to be helping the night time weting but as for the day time weting we are at a loss. my husband and I have tryed everything to get her to stop peeing her pants from encouragement to punishment. She has a watch that is desinged to remind her that she has to go to the bathroom every hour( we even had to superglue the watch butons so that she could not turn off the alarms) she continually lies about peeing her pants and when we put her in pullups she just hides the pull ups and her pants. currently we have her in pads and we are rewarding if she goes 3 days without peeing then we do something fun as a family if she does pee her pants she takes a one hour time out and sits on the toilet. We have also asked her mom to do the same at her house and she has agreed. what do i do we are at our witts end?!!!!

[four63]

i had the same problem at that age.  in my case going to the toilet triggered a lot of anxiety and i use to wee in my pants so i didnt have to use the toilet.  in my case there were also a lot of other contributing factors.  i started weeing in my pants at 4 as well not long after my father started handling me sexually.  i was toilet avoidant (unless at school) until 12 - i matured out of it myself, eventually.  

sorry its not an answer, just another avenue ?

[Encephalomalcia]

Being that she has been doing this since she was 4, she must have some condition with her bladder that the doctors are missing.  Does she hold it for prolong periods of time?  Does she get bladder infections?  She may just have a relaxed bladder.  She may need to be taught on to hold her urine.  When she does urinate, does she go a lot or just a little?  Sometimes kids go just a little and never get the bladder control that they should have.  They do need to hold it to develop bladder control.  On the other hand, some kids hold it a long time, too long, and then oops.  

[margypops]

Sounds like overkill, perhaps she is anxious thats why she is doing it, doesnt sound as if punishment is a good idea will only re-enforce the concern she has, Perhaps take a step back .make it less of an issue ,pullups&pads  at her age are a punishment it will make things worse, perhaps she is missing her bio mom as she is with you each day ,how many days and nights is she with you maybe her Mom should keep her with her more.as there isnt an issue there.