Anxious....ever STOP worrying?

[PaulaAnn]

To Hector and all......I did write a follow up to one of my questions about my meds...and mentioned that I will be seeing Dr Barnes in CC on March 28th.  I called about 2 weeks ago.  Its such a long wait but know it could be longer.  I just want to get the process started and then again..very worried about getting the process started.  Worried about what the tests will state....what the dr will say...what more they may find.....what meds I will be on and how I will react to them and my rheum arth. If their tests will show worse than I thought?   If I will even be considered for a tp cause my r/a is so severe.  1983 so 30 yrs of damage.  Lots of IFS, I know..want to stop that but I'm only human.

I am not fatigued and have lots of energy so that is good.

Just wondered if there is ever a day that you dont think of cirrhosis most of the time?  Its the first thing I think about when I wake up, last thing at night.  Then getting paperwork ready for the hep...and other drs appts..its hard.  I know I should concentrate and celebrate the present.  

I had a procedure done the other day...listing my history....cancer, colitis, cirrhosis..then after those c's ...portal hypertension...varices.....the nurse kept going on going.  Still hard for me to wrap my mind around it.  Once I am done with the list, I am exhausted and sad.  I know I am not alone..just wanted to know if this gets better at all.

Two of my drs told me...both gastros..that treatment sometimes makes the cirrhosis progress. I think of my David who had leukemia and passed away with AML within months.  I am not the healthiest 63 yr old.  64 next month so a tp may not be possible.  Will let Dr Barnes tell me that.  Also with the stuff that goes with r./a....heart, lungs. etc.  The drs are not as concerned..I think they think..well, you ARE 63...so things will happen.  One dr said its too late to do anything about it now.  So...he's not my dr anymore.  

I wish I was stronger..people say I am...but I have no choice.  I have to decide to do what is best and not just sit and hope for the best...and thats tough to do.  You want things to go as they used to be...but I have to do something and its scary.

Thanks for listening.  I know alot of you are going thru much worse.  I think since I am widow...it gives me more ME time.  I try to stay busy but....its in the back of my mind.

Hector..hope you're doing okay....thinking of you and thanks for all the good info you give to everyone.  Also...to all the others who give their answers....this is the best place for info.  We're so lucky to have all of you.  Even the new members have enlightened me with their questions and the comments.

Paula

[PaulaAnn]

How wonderful that your dad is doing so well.  (I love Vero Beach..wish I was there now!)  

Dr Hoylk sounds wonderful    

Glad you found a good one!!

Hugs to you and your dad....Paula

[nursegill]

My dad goes to Dr. Peter Holyk in Vero Beach Fl at the Dean Wellness Center. He has him on all these different vitamins. They seem to be working. He is stage 4 and was told in May he had less than 4-6wks to live. Lost over 60lbs. White blood count was a 1.2 pal was 40 it didn`t look good. every couple of months just to see if we need to change anything. My dad is 78 and is doing great. He just started driving again. The gastro dr. Doesnt know what to think. He can`t belive that he is on no meds and doing so well. He eats everthing he wants. I know this is not for everone. But this Dr. Hoylk is just amazing. I think he will even do phone calls.He is also a MD. This man is amazing.   nurse gill

[Advocate1955]

Ok. Good luck w your appt and keep us posted.

[PaulaAnn]

Hi Advocate...no, I mispoke.  I dont know the cause of the cirrhosis.  I just "assumed" there will be some treatment.  You know what they say about "assuming".

Its all new to me.

I dont think it is Hepatitis.

I will know more when I see Dr Barnes in Cleveland.

Paula

[Advocate1955]

Hi Paula,
I read both of your posts.  In the one above you asked if treatment can make the Cirrhosis progress.  Treatment for what?  I thought you weren't sure of the cause of your Cirrhosis, or do you now know?  Maybe I just misread your posts.
Advocate1955