Who is the dad in this scenario?

[Nasimababy123]

I had sex with 3 different guys on different days. I had sex with guy 1 on feb 22nd but we used a condom. I had sex on feb23rd with no condom and also with guy three on the 25th but we did use a condom. Who is the dad if i conceived on the 27th of feb?

[AnnieBrooke]

Given that the doctor gave you the due date from looking at a little cardboard wheel, you really can't guarantee that the interesting events of February 23-27 produced the baby. If you are super-regular, and every period comes every 28 days without fail, then it would suggest you ovulated on the 27th. But if your cycles are irregular, or longer or shorter than average (and by cycle, I mean the time between the first day of one period and the first day of the next period, a time period that for some ladies is 28 days) you could have gotten pregnant some other time than the 27th. The doctor, at this late date, will have no way to medically judge when you ovulated. The reason I asked if you got your information from an ultrasound and not just a little cardboard wheel is that ultrasound info is more reliable than simply counting forward from the first day of your last period. Are your cycles super regular, such that you could set your watch by them coming on day 28 without fail?

[Nasimababy123]

My cycle is regular and the dr and also at my ultrasound has the same due date. my cycle comes like clock work always on the same days. Also the guy i didn't use a condom with has been messing around with me for 2 years

[Nasimababy123]

I know i waited until march 18 to get a pregnancy test because i was waiting to come on my period.  

[Nasimababy123]

I talked to guy 1 and 3 the condoms never broke and they never came inside me

[AnnieBrooke]

What I would do, in your shoes, is explain the situation to the doctor, and ask specifically if the estimated due date came only from the measurements of the embryo and its developmental markers, versus from the little cardboard wheel or other ways of counting that begins with the first day of your last period. If you can impress on the doctor how important it is to be certain of the estimated conception date, he or she should be willing to work with you to figure out how accurate the 27th is.

If the date is the 27th according to the ultrasound (with no influence from knowing when your last period began) then all three guys are in the running. The use of condoms does not remove the two guys as possibilities, though it reduces their odds.

If you would like to, you can do prenatal testing to find out for sure. When you do any DNA paternity testing (before or after the baby comes), you should be sure to test with all three guys, because you need a firm "yes" for one and definite "no's" for the others. Testing before the baby comes is much more costly than waiting until the baby is born. (Maybe you could split the cost of the test 4 ways and it would be more manageable.) If you do prenatal testing, the best labs are Ravgen and the DDC. (Don't use an Internet cheapie so-called "lab" that is based out of another country, you will just be wasting your money.) If you test after the baby comes, use a lab recommended by the courts for legal determination of paternity, no drugstore tests. They are not admissible in court.

[Nasimababy123]

Sperm stay in you for days so i believe its the person who didn't use a condom with me. Who i have been dealing with for two years. Thanks for your help i will still give him a paternity test

[AnnieBrooke]

Nasima, I just came across a thread in Relationships about whether a woman should tell her husband that he is not the dad of her child. It makes for interesting reading because several people posted in who had the experience of finding out later in life that they were not their father's biological child. I asked MedHelp to move that thread over to DNA/Paternity so people in the position of not being entirely sure who the dad is can see how it feels to be a (for example) 26-year-old who finds this out and what it does to the child's life. It's presently at: https://www.medhelp.org/posts/Relationships/Should-I-tell-my-husband-he-is-not-the-father-of-my-son/show/1360229#post_14344175 if you would like to read it.

I hope you are right in assuming your person who didn't use a condom is the dad, but especially after reading these stories, I also strongly second your intention to do a paternity test. There is just no moral grounding for not finding out for totally sure.

[RockRose]

There really is no way - even an ultrasound performed at 6 weeks,  to tell which of 3 sexual encounters in 3 days led to pregnancy.  It's most likely the guy who didn't use a condom,  but that's not for sure,  and there is no "dating" test that will discern between sex within a 3 day span.

[AnnieBrooke]

RR - that is true if the sex in the three days in question produced the pregnancy. But if the lady has irregular cycles, it might not have. If the due date was based on the baby's measurements from the ultrasound only, that would indicate the time period where all three guys are the candidates. But if the doc merely plugged the woman's first day of her last period into a little cardboard wheel, the baby could have started earlier or later than the time period in question.

[AnnieBrooke]

Have you had an ultrasound yet? If so, did they give you an estimated due date from the measurements of the baby?

[Nasimababy123]

My due date is nov 20, 2018

[AnnieBrooke]

How did you get the due date, and please don't just say "the doctor." I am looking for something explanatory so I can answer your question if possible. Like, "the doctor looked at a little cardboard wheel and based the date on my last period," or, "the doctor did an ultrasound and computed the baby's due date based on the measurements of the baby only."

[Nasimababy123]

When i went the dr did do the wheel and also at my ultrasound they asked when did i have my period and they came up with the due ddate of Nov20

[Nasimababy123]

I was told by my dr that ovulation occurred during the time i got pregnant

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, why do you think you conceived on February 27?

[Nasimababy123]

I went to the dr after i took two home pregnancy test but the last time i had a period was feb13-feb18