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Help! 3 possible fathers.. yes I know what your thinking
Hi you all.. yes I know.. the title says it all! I am extremely ashamed about this situation I have put myself in but I SERIOUSLY need some guidance and advise from outsiders who have no connection to this situation... any honest input would be so greatly appreciated. The only "semi positive" thing about this situation is that 2 of the guys I have known for years. All 3 are wonderful people that come from great families as well.
Okay, I found out I am pregnant. The first day of my last period was on August 12, 2015. Here is out how it pans out :/
August 21st- Guy #1 (came inside me)
August 23rd- Guy #2 (came inside me)
August 28th- Guy #1 (PULLED OUT- DID NOT *** INSIDE ME)
August 28th- Guy #3 (came inside me)
August 29th- OVULATION!?!?!
I had EXTREME one sided pain (my doctor states that she is 99.999 percent sure this was ovulation, my periods were longer than 28 days) on August 29th...
From your opinions, any idea who the father COULD possibly be? I know this is a messy horrible situation, all completely self inflicted. All I am asking for is your input on who you think it could be. I have no one else to talk to about this and would sincerely appreciate any input on your thoughts.
Just an FYI I plan on getting a prenatal paternity test done through DDC at 9 weeks, but in the meantime I am just trying to figure this whole mess out.
Thank you for your time
Okay, I found out I am pregnant. The first day of my last period was on August 12, 2015. Here is out how it pans out :/
August 21st- Guy #1 (came inside me)
August 23rd- Guy #2 (came inside me)
August 28th- Guy #1 (PULLED OUT- DID NOT *** INSIDE ME)
August 28th- Guy #3 (came inside me)
August 29th- OVULATION!?!?!
I had EXTREME one sided pain (my doctor states that she is 99.999 percent sure this was ovulation, my periods were longer than 28 days) on August 29th...
From your opinions, any idea who the father COULD possibly be? I know this is a messy horrible situation, all completely self inflicted. All I am asking for is your input on who you think it could be. I have no one else to talk to about this and would sincerely appreciate any input on your thoughts.
Just an FYI I plan on getting a prenatal paternity test done through DDC at 9 weeks, but in the meantime I am just trying to figure this whole mess out.
Thank you for your time
Annie,
Thank you so much. I didnt know if it happened every 14 -15days no matter what or if that was just technically speaking for 28 day cycles??
Hopefully the test will tell. The lady at the DDC sounded VERY confident in their results, however I am SO terrified right now. I think I will test guy 1 and guy 2 to rule them out first? Thoughts?
Thank you again...
Thank you so much. I didnt know if it happened every 14 -15days no matter what or if that was just technically speaking for 28 day cycles??
Hopefully the test will tell. The lady at the DDC sounded VERY confident in their results, however I am SO terrified right now. I think I will test guy 1 and guy 2 to rule them out first? Thoughts?
Thank you again...
COMMUNITY LEADER
No, hCG levels really don't say much, unfortunately. The range of normal is very wide at any given week.
If you do have long cycles, that puts the August 28th guys back into the running. Since a woman ovulates about 14 or 15 days before the next period, it skews the numbers for ovulation to be rather late.
It makes sense to test, given that.
If you do have long cycles, that puts the August 28th guys back into the running. Since a woman ovulates about 14 or 15 days before the next period, it skews the numbers for ovulation to be rather late.
It makes sense to test, given that.
Also, I meant to say I got my first HCG test on Friday which showed 41 (they said barely 4 weeks but again who knows) and I went in Monday and they called yesterday saying my HCG levels were 3300 with a progesterone at 17. Not sure if that says anything either unfortunately.
Hi Annie,
Thank you for your input!
My past periods went like this: June 1st, July 5th and August 12th. So my periods are way longer than 28 day cycles. They told me I was 5 weeks today, based upon this we will just have to see what the ultrasound says. My OBGYN said if she were to guess she would say 90% it was guy #3, as my ovulation dates would be from the 28-1st (or something like that). I get mittelschmerz every month unfortunately, from either side that I am ovulating from, that is the only reason why I was thinking it was guy #3. My doctor almost fully ruled out guy #1, so this will be VERY interesting to see how this plays out.
To be honest, at this point, I have NO idea what to think. And you made a good point, this is not an IDEAL situation, but I am lucky that these are 3 great people atleast
Thank you for your input!
My past periods went like this: June 1st, July 5th and August 12th. So my periods are way longer than 28 day cycles. They told me I was 5 weeks today, based upon this we will just have to see what the ultrasound says. My OBGYN said if she were to guess she would say 90% it was guy #3, as my ovulation dates would be from the 28-1st (or something like that). I get mittelschmerz every month unfortunately, from either side that I am ovulating from, that is the only reason why I was thinking it was guy #3. My doctor almost fully ruled out guy #1, so this will be VERY interesting to see how this plays out.
To be honest, at this point, I have NO idea what to think. And you made a good point, this is not an IDEAL situation, but I am lucky that these are 3 great people atleast
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, Jpike, are your cycles regular like clockwork? How many days from day 1 of bleeding of one period to day 1 of bleeding of the next period?
I'd get an ultrasound next week. Counting from your period (which is how doctors do it), you would be in your sixth week then, and that (or week 7) is the most accurate week for trying to pinpoint conception using an ultrasound.
Was all the sex unprotected? (--aside: get tested for STDs--) Even if someone pulls out, if you had pre-ejaculate enter your system it could carry sperm, and pre-ejaculate comes out before the guy would have pulled out.
However, I don't see the sex on August 28 as the most likely anyway. I would suggest (from your dates alone and assuming your cycles are average length and regular) that guy 2 has the strongest chance to be the dad, followed by guy 1 due to the fact that his sperm from August 21 might have still been viable in your system. I would think guy-1-pullout and guy 3 would be too late.
Part of the reason I think this is that if a person gets a super-aching ovary at a time when they have been having a lot of sex (you certainly qualify on that score) this can come from the ovary having been bonked during sex. A bruised ovary can get a little swollen. After the egg pops out of it, the swelling can cause the pore on the ovary that the egg came from to shut before all the fluids have drained out after the egg left, giving you an ovarian cyst. Those can hurt like an SOB, but while they indicate that you have ovulated, they don't appear on the day you ovulate, it takes a bit of time for it to get to the point where it hurts. My guess is that all the pain showed was that you did ovulate during that month's cycle, but you knew that anyway because you are pregnant. From my experience, it does not indicate ovuating on the day the aching came.
There is something called mittelschmerz, meaning pain with ovulation, but it is more like a twang that lasts about an hour and not a huge ache that stays a day or so. Possibly that is what your doctor was thinking you were describing. But what you described sounds to me much more like a cyst.
Anyway, get the ultrasound and don't let them calculate your estimated due date by your reported first day of your last period (especially if your cycles are irregular or long). In fact, if you want to, tell them you don't want to use your period to begin the count because your cycles are irregular. Then ask them to use only the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby and its other developmental markers to tell you the estimated due date and number of weeks GA. (Keep in mind that the medical count of the number of weeks does NOT start at conception, but two weeks earlier, to calibrate to a presumed first day of last period.)
It does not sound like you have the hugest of problems, frustrating though the situation is, because you don't have a boyfriend or husband who is going to kill you if you have to tell him that you have had sex with other people. But I certainly see that you want to know! If some of the reports on this forum about the DDC give you pause (though I would not let them, myself), another lab with an excellent reputation is Ravgen. There are a lot of labs out there with poor reputations for this kind of work, but I do recommend those two from what the ladies report.
Write back. :)
Annie
I'd get an ultrasound next week. Counting from your period (which is how doctors do it), you would be in your sixth week then, and that (or week 7) is the most accurate week for trying to pinpoint conception using an ultrasound.
Was all the sex unprotected? (--aside: get tested for STDs--) Even if someone pulls out, if you had pre-ejaculate enter your system it could carry sperm, and pre-ejaculate comes out before the guy would have pulled out.
However, I don't see the sex on August 28 as the most likely anyway. I would suggest (from your dates alone and assuming your cycles are average length and regular) that guy 2 has the strongest chance to be the dad, followed by guy 1 due to the fact that his sperm from August 21 might have still been viable in your system. I would think guy-1-pullout and guy 3 would be too late.
Part of the reason I think this is that if a person gets a super-aching ovary at a time when they have been having a lot of sex (you certainly qualify on that score) this can come from the ovary having been bonked during sex. A bruised ovary can get a little swollen. After the egg pops out of it, the swelling can cause the pore on the ovary that the egg came from to shut before all the fluids have drained out after the egg left, giving you an ovarian cyst. Those can hurt like an SOB, but while they indicate that you have ovulated, they don't appear on the day you ovulate, it takes a bit of time for it to get to the point where it hurts. My guess is that all the pain showed was that you did ovulate during that month's cycle, but you knew that anyway because you are pregnant. From my experience, it does not indicate ovuating on the day the aching came.
There is something called mittelschmerz, meaning pain with ovulation, but it is more like a twang that lasts about an hour and not a huge ache that stays a day or so. Possibly that is what your doctor was thinking you were describing. But what you described sounds to me much more like a cyst.
Anyway, get the ultrasound and don't let them calculate your estimated due date by your reported first day of your last period (especially if your cycles are irregular or long). In fact, if you want to, tell them you don't want to use your period to begin the count because your cycles are irregular. Then ask them to use only the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby and its other developmental markers to tell you the estimated due date and number of weeks GA. (Keep in mind that the medical count of the number of weeks does NOT start at conception, but two weeks earlier, to calibrate to a presumed first day of last period.)
It does not sound like you have the hugest of problems, frustrating though the situation is, because you don't have a boyfriend or husband who is going to kill you if you have to tell him that you have had sex with other people. But I certainly see that you want to know! If some of the reports on this forum about the DDC give you pause (though I would not let them, myself), another lab with an excellent reputation is Ravgen. There are a lot of labs out there with poor reputations for this kind of work, but I do recommend those two from what the ladies report.
Write back. :)
Annie
Thank you for your reply. I am shaking I am so nervous. I cant sleep because I am so stressed out. Is it possible that my doctor is accurate that I ovulated on the 29th? .. if guy #1 pulled out that day is it safe to kind of narrow him out a little bit?
Greatly appreciate your quick reply
Greatly appreciate your quick reply
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