Could I be the father?

[Jon1979]

Hi, trying to cut a long story short... But I was seeing this girl a couple of years ago for about two months. We were having regular sex and the last time we had sex was the 29th December. We split soon after and lost contact.

I have recently found out that she had a child the following October, the 29th. Now that's got my mind working overdrive! Could the child be mine? Is there any possibility at all say if she was two weeks late? Any help very appreciated!

[Jon1979]

Thank you for your reply :)

There were a couple of details I left out of my story, as I believe it's the dates which give conclusive evidence the child can't be mine?

She has told me that the child is mine secretly, although another guy is 'playing' dad...

We split up on January 1st, (two days after our last sexual activity) and that is the day she told me she was pregnant and had had it confirmed by doctors. At the time I found it all very suspicious, but I don't have conclusive DNA evidence and probably never will.

[AnnieBrooke]

If she told you on January 1 that she was pregnant, this would mean she could not have gotten pregnant even as late as December 29, since people don't know only 2 days later if they are pregnant.  She would have to had gotten pregnant December 16 at the latest (if the story were true).  But since the baby wasn't born until October 29, that December 16-at-the-latest date makes the time gap even greater than the 5 weeks we were talking about above, she would have to be something like almost 2 months overdue when she had the baby, which of course is not possible.

The only way she could have been telling you the truth on January 1 is if she really was pregnant then, and then had an early miscarriage and got pregnant right away after the miscarriage.  This is possible, women are very fertile after miscarriages, but the baby wouldn't have been from you because you and she were split up by then.  If she then comes back with this tale of the baby being yours "secretly," she is just trying to manipulate you.

If she keeps after you with the tale, you can have a court order a DNA test.  I don't even think it would give her that much satisfaction, your posture should be that you know she is lying.  Keep away and don't look back.

[AnnieBrooke]

Sex on December 29 would produce a full-term baby on September 21 - 27 or so.  If you had written in and said you were worried because she had her baby on September 28, you might have cause to wonder, but an October 29 baby would not have come from sex with you in December.  

First off, if she were pregnant and had any doubt about who was the father (and thought you were one of the possibilities) she would have contacted you.  She did not contact you.  You ask whether you would be in range of being the possible father if she was "two weeks late" -- doctors don't let women go two weeks overdue.  More to the point, if the last sex was in late December and the baby was born on October 29, the baby would be at least 5 weeks overdue, not two.  Nobody goes 5 weeks overdue; doctors don't let them even get to 41 weeks.   Don't let your overdrive mind convince you of something you have no evidence to believe -- she didn't contact you during her pregnancy, she wouldn't be allowed to go "two weeks" overdue, and she would have to be a medically impossible number of weeks overdue for the baby to come from sex with you.  Relax.