Please help -conception and paternity stress!!

[Katelea]

Hi. I had regretful relations with a guy and had unprotected sex on July 20th 2015, took the morning after pill on July 22nd.  I noticed some light menstrual bleeding lasting up until 28th July. I  had unprotected sex during early morning of July 29th with the same person, however he denied ejaculating this time at all. During the night on July 29th I had a welcomed reconnect with my ex bf and told him what I had just done with the other guy. My ex bf and I had sex and continued to do so frequently during the proceeding days until August 5th.  We slept together after this timeframe also and I have not been with anyone else since.

I discovered I was pregnant early September with dating scans stating May 11th 2016 as due date. I was unable to provide accurate LMP due to the morning after pill confusion (I usually have regular periods).

I'm stressed about the father. Although my ex bf has remained by my side, we agreed DNA test would be a good idea following birth.

Pregnancy has been fine and baby growing according to time. I'm just having constant stress regarding the father as my due date approaches.

[Katelea]

Also, can anyone share their view on dating scan precision? I had 3 @  6,8 and 13 weeks.

[Katelea]

I agree with you, I don't want to constantly worry  that I didn't investigate further. Its frustrating and more so because of my mistake with the other man. I'll love my child regardless, but I love the bond and special time my bf and I are experiencing and will continue to hopefully. The morning after pill (plan b) is the reason I'm concerned, I am not sure if the bleeding was a side effect or my menstrual cycle. If it was menstrual, I know it can't be the other guys child. If it was bleeding for a different reason? Ahhhh only time will tell I guess.

I'll check back here for your comments if you like. We haven't got far to go ☺

[Lg1195]

Yes we definitely should! :) the extra support would be great, well me and my bf havent discussed dna testing since decemeber but at the time we decided it would be best and i know exactly what you mean i feel like if we didnt i would constantly be looking at my child asking who helped me make you? :/ at least we have the dates on our side! Im hopeful things will be okay, not long to wait now

[Katelea]

Thank you so much for replies. I love this forum and it is giving me restasurnce until baby arrives.

Lg1195 - wow we are very similar .....id like to stay in touch with you! if bub arrives early will you do a paternity test? I think my mind won't be at rest in this case without scientific proof.

[Lg1195]

Hi! Our dates are very close and we're in the same boat so thought id leave a comment just to say you arent alone i know exactly how stressful this is! :( I made my mistake with a close friend on 15th july when me and my bf had been separated for around a month, we ended up getting back together a few days after that. I also took the morning after pill. So then my period arrives on 1st august and i assume everything is fine. Fast forward to 31st August no period, took a test september 5th and it was positive and my friend said to me yanno that last period you had might not have been a real one and it could be the other guys baby so i completely freaked out! Had my first scan 24th September which dated me at 7 weeks 6 days with a due date of may 6th and this puts conception at around 14th August. Logically i can say to myself if this baby really was my friends my due date would have been the start of April not May ( same as yourself, date wise everything seems good for us ) but the guilt i feel at night is terrible :'( I also didnt have any symptoms until the day i took my test eg. tingling nipples, hot flushes and extremely irritated! I think the symptoms would have appeared long before then if it wasnt by bf's although i dunno if thats a good way of determining anything as everyones body is different i suppose. My boyfriend has been amazing through this as he believes he is most likely the dad, i love him very much just wish i could go back in time and not do what i did. His family has no idea this is going on though so they cant wait for babys arrival! I break down in tears everytime i think about maybe having to tell them the baby isnt actually related to them. Sorry for rambling but i hope you have comfort in knowing someone else is going through the same. I pray to god everyday this will work out for me and my bf and ill be prayin for you too! Best of luck! xo

[Tavy11]

The one that you are currently with, sorry!

[Tavy11]

I think it's your Ex

[Katelea]

Thank you kindly for reply. You are right on saying my concern stems from anxiety re the other guy. The dates worry me because morning after pill can throw cycle out of whack , yet the ultrasound dating screen taken at 4, ,6 and 8 week correlate with the May 11 due date so I know I should focus on this. My thoughts also worry at the chance baby is born early, aand will cause me to revisit these anxious moments . can I feel confident with ultrasound date scans? Initially I was fine, now late at night I have these stressful moments of doubt. Sorry to sound ignorant or uneducatd, I'm ftm and have become comfortable with having my ex bf back in my life as our child's daddy. Your advice is greatly appreciated x

[AnnieBrooke]

Here is what the conception calculator I use says based on a due date of May 11:

Probable date of ovulation:  August 19
Possible dates of conception:  August 15 to 23

I assume you have also counted back and found that these numbers hold true.  So this implies that your problem is that you keep obsessing because you had sex with the other guy, not that you are really worried about the dates?

Worry about who is the father when the dates don't justify the worry is really just general internalized anxiety over your behavior, not a clue that your worries are true.  

Please try to relax and trust your tests and your dates.