Please help me withdraw from Xanax and answer a question re: it

[reallysad]

I have been taking Xanax ER for 3 1/2 years.  I was told by an
"addictions specialist" that it was "non-addictive" since it was slowly released.  I never abused it or took it other than as prescribed.  NOW I am suffering, and I do mean suffering, very embarrassingly from incontinence.  I will not go out almost at all and I live alone.  I am dying of loneliness.  I read that Xanax could cause incontinence and the docs have been unable to find a reason so they have suggested that I stop taking it.  I am just now beginning to wean off the first 1/2 milligram and am feeling terrible.  I cannot sleep and I am shaky and miserable.  I am afraid of getting worse, as I start taking less in 2 days.  I am so alone and so shaky and scared.  IS IT TRUE that Xanax can "impair urination?"  I read that on one question and I am having that problem also.  Please give me some answers and also know that I have a history of alcoholism and severe panic attacks years after that with PTSD and then severe agoraphobia.  Am I ever going to be OK?  Do I need a treatment facility?  What should I do?  Are there any "things" that I can do/ eat/ drink/ that are healthy and helpful that I might try?  Please help!

[espresso]

Hi, I thought I should update my situation. I tried the real Xanax and do not like it. For some reason, it lasts only 4 or 5 hours and then I get anxiety. Having to take two is just not conducive to weaning off them. Also it barely takes the edge off the anxiety (or withdrawal, or whatever the symptoms are). So I have 3 other types of pills I can use. The old alprazolam, a few left, which work OK, the new alprazolam, which seemed too strong in their effect and take hours to work, and the new diazepam, which I haven't taken yet. I don't like any of these choices...and am disappointed that the Xanax I paid for doesn't work as well as it used to for me, years ago. But I've got to use something to taper off these pills. I can't keep using them, and I can't cold turkey. For the first few days I took one or two alprazolam and I was feeling calm. Then I forgot to take any as I felt well, and then I felt the interdose anxiety/withdrawal come back. It's like, taking them so much has made my brain less able to handle any stress. I really don't know what to do now. My former dr. has washed his hands of it...he no longer has time and says I can just use the Ashton protocol but he is not going to guide me as he's not officially my dr. and just prescribed the pills to help me till I see the new dr. So I'm alone till I get the new dr. in a few weeks.  I've got the agoraphobia, headaches, muscle pains, tremor, and now that a heat wave is here I have the heat triggering anxiety. I have lethargy, and haven't felt able to even do simple things like wash my hair. Just getting in the tub causes me anxiety.  I can't do this when I am under the influence of the pill. I can't do it while it is wearing off as I have anxiety then. What to do? I guess I bite the bullet, choose one of the pill types and just reduce them little by little.

The thing is, I hate taking them. I wonder if taking them farther apart (waiting longer before each one) should work the same as cutting them a little bit each week. I think I'm worse since taking them every day for a week! I hate being so dependent on them and being unsure what to do now.

[rosetoes]

You seem to know the impact of xanax and about how to weaning off of them.  Do continue to post here and I will look for them...It is important to have support especially from people that have walked in the same shoes.

Best Wishes!

[rosetoes]

I can't imagine going cold turkey...my God, you can't function at all.  YOu must wean slowly off of them.  The first month after I got off of them, I thought that they were the worse pill in the world due to the horrible withdrawls.  Now reflecting on them, I know that xanax and benzo period are made for short term use or as needed.  They do help tremendously with anxiety and panic attacks, but not a drug to use 3 times a day for over a month.

Espresso, I do understand how you feel, every fear and bad feeling I had during withdrawl...I lost 10 pounds (the only good thing that happened) due to withdrawl and being scaried, couldn't eat, hyperventalating at the thought of eating taking my breath away..etc.  I had a bad bad time...adrenaline rush, hot flashes, rapid heart rate, not sleeping, the unbearable tense feeling in my stomach, ringing in the ears.

I weaned by cutting one of my daily dosage in half and made a cut every 4 to 7 days..depending on how I was handling the cuts.  Ex. I took 3 .50mg per day.  So the first week, I took .50mg in the morning, .25 in the afternoon and .50 at night.  AFter 5 days..I cut the morning dosage to .25 .25afternoon and.50 at night.  Continue the following week .25  .25 .25  Then split the .25 in the morning to .12.5 .25 a 25. next week .12.5 .12.5 .25.  I kept cutting the dosage and when I got down to .12.5 in the morning, dropped the mid-day dosage and took .12.5 at night, did that for 5 days and then stopped.  All hell broke lose  after the firt 36 hours but I was determined to stop them and get some control over them (meaning xanax).  I had never been addicted to anything and it really bothered me.

Now that it has been many months ago and while I hated that little pill, I just know now that they are not meant to be taken regularly, they are to be taken as needed....They did help me when I was at a stage in my life where panic and anxiety was a daily thing, but I did get it under control

Try to work on your anxiety and understand the natural ways of dealing with it...deep breathing helped the most for me, breathing deeply and expanding your stomach during the breathing will absolutely stop rapid heart rate and hyperventalating...which was my biggest problem.   Also, tense and release, where you start with your feet and tighten those muscle (point your toes really intense and count to 10 then release quickly and take 2 slow deep breaths, then do the same to your legs, thighs, buttocks, stomach, chest, shoulders, and even open your mouth really wide.  With your chest bring your arms back near your shoulder blades.  It works, after you do that entire exercise your body is relaxed.  I do this laying down in bed, but I read that you can do it sitting, etc.

Let me know how you are doing,  I'm no medical expert, but I did read everything I could get my hands on to understand benzos and how they impact me.  I didn't have anyone at the time to help me, but I did find the websites like this one and benzo.org.uk which did a world of good to help me learn that I was okay and the feelings that I had were normal withdrawl.  I must say that I spent thousands and thousands of dollars in the emergency room and cardiology, thinking that I was dying and it was panic and withdrawl.  If I can help someone else avoid my mistakes, then it was not done in vain.

Best wishes to you!

[espresso]

I had to go to the dentist to repair two broken teeth and it was hard. I felt anxiety rising trying to break through even though I took the alprazolam in advance and took it twice yesterday. It's really a hard time for me! But I got through it, telling myself I'd be so glad when it was done. It ws so strange feeling anxiety trying to stop me even when I knew I had been fully sedated. But actually I didn't time it right. The maximum saturation of the drug occurred about a half hour after I was finished at the dentist so I still had to use effort and positive thinking to get thru it.

What puzzles me is how many times I've been to the dentist in my life with no anxious feelings at all. The body has to get back into a steady state of solidness, so that everything is not scary to me. That is my goal.

Now I am proud I got that necessary thing accomplished, but my xanax won't be ready at the pharmacy until Monday so I still have to use the alprazolam. However I am not afraid of them anymore. I am more afraid of withdrawal symptoms so I am taking it every day now, or twice a day if I feel the slightest bit of anxiety when it wears off, as it did yesterday. I am going to be well. First, take all I need to be calm. Once the wellness hits, then, and only then, I will start tapering, ever so gradually.

For anyone who sees this, cold turkey is not the way - there is no need to go thru hell. Taper down slowly using Heather Ashton's protocol. As slow as you need to. After all: if you don't taper, you end up being addicted for years and years anyway. So take a  year or 6 mos. to taper and let the body adjust.

I am extremely focused on regaining my fitness level and my brain function, so it doesn't cry out for benzos to be able to function. I know that taking it the last few months since Jan. made the receptors weak (GABA). The body can't handle stress now. As I taper, the brain learns gradually to make its own GABA again. At least, that is how I visualize it. When I went cold turkey, for ten days, it was managing until the 9th day, and then it was screaming for help. Sure, people can do cold turkey, but it is a living hell and I was not prepared for it...could not handle how it suddenly got worse.  I am going to be kind to my body and brain. Reasonable. This way I will get my abilities back.

[espresso]

I replied to you in the other thread too so I hope I am not repeating too much. I want to add that my doctors all told me 0.25 was not strong enough and I should take 0.50. But I always resisted, not wanting to get more dependant! I refused to take it on a schedule, 3 x a day as prescribed, I always was afraid of getting addicted. The weird part is I got addicted and dependent, even taking the smallest dose, not every day. The body still got used to it and went into withdrawal state every time, which explains why I had more anxiety attacks in the last few months, since I went back to taking it 2-3 times a week. The worst was when it failed and I could not do ordinary things. My fears of going anywhere came back. I think it is fine to take it maybe twice in 6 months. Then I just am able to go back and be normal. But if I took it even 3 x in one week, then I'd get the withdrawal, which felt like another attack, and I would live through them and suffer, or give in and take it. Like a never ending circle until I make a decision not to let it rule me.

I stopped it cold turkey and was fine for a few days, only mild discomfort and then 3 days of feeling great, then 2 days of hell on earth, so I went back to it, and this time it eased the symptoms within minutes.   I do not know why sometimes it would take 3 hrs to work...it probably was not a big enough dose just like the drs. said. Now, I learned that I am not so all knowledgable. I was wrong thinking my way of taking it was safer. I still took it too much, and I was not seeing my dr. regularly, just renewing it. This time I will have a dr. following my regime and will be constantly checking in, and probably with two doctors. I do not want to make any more mistakes in understanding.

I can stand a lot of pain, but I've had increased tremor and it drove me to be a recluse. I now feel sulre it was from the alprazolam withdrawal I was in every time it wore off. That is one of the side effects. It went away completely yesterday when  I took the pill after ten days. So did everything else, except the headache but it is gone today.

I was feeling like a heroin addict must feel. Everything in my body crying out for relief, trying to hold on to my sanity and remember what to do. I realized I was doing this to myself by not taking the pill, and that I no longer could stand it and didn't have to. I would reinstate, and stabilize, and then taper. Otherwise, I don't know what, because I could not stand the feeling of almost exploding within and jumping out of my skin.  So, I will post news of my progress as I like this forum. It has helped me a lot during this difficult time.

[rosetoes]

One other thing, you have to practice these exercises when you are not experiencing panic and anxiety.  They won't work then, you are in a different mindset and it is hard to focus.  When I was taking xanax, I read books and practice the exercising then.  So when I did get off of xanax...when I was weaning off of them and started to feel bad, I started to try the deep breathing and tense and release and began to reassure myself that the feeling would pass and I'd survive it.  And I did.  It is hard, but you can do this.  To this day, I tense and release and deep breath daily...