Is my problem really depression?

[nctrucker]

I drive an 18 wheeler anywhere from 10 to 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. Drive to and from work is 10 hours a week, which puts me at 70 hours committed to the job. I am tired all the time. I sleep for a few hours, then I wake up too early, but cannot get back to sleep. I am depressed about the job (too many hours). getting older. Don.t even say get another job, cause I have been looking, and there is not much out there right now. I have bills to pay. My question is: Jow do I handle this? I feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

[mammo]

Anti-depressants will not make you tired, unless you are taking too little, or too much.  Depression will make you tired.  
You won't have to be on them for the rest of your life.
Therapy can help you, and should be part of your process.
No psychiatrist can make you take drugs, this is totally your decision.
But, I do think some sleep would help you a lot.  Maybe you could talk to your doctor and see what would be best for you.  There are some very good ones that don't knock you out, just relax you a bit so that you can sleep.  Maybe just changing your outlook would help you.  Regardless, this is a decision between you and a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist as they are more knowledgeable on the meds which is of utmost concern to you. Good luck...........

[whodunnit]

Hi NC,

I agree with you really mate. The last thing you want is meds for depression as one thing I can guarantee is they will leave you tired. Which will destroy you and your job.

Yes it's a bloody lot of hours but why did you start driving? You must have liked it and wanted to do it so I suspect you need to recapture what it was that you enjoyed about it when you began.

What does wear us donw of course is age and becoming unfit. If those two combine as they do we do lose interest and become bored, and find doing our jobs harder, regardless of what they are.

Your first focus has to be on staying alert as you say, to stay alive and earn. Meds would take that away from you so if it is depression then you should focus on therapy and not meds, at least to start.

Therapy would focus on exactly what I've raised here for you as well as looking at everything else in your life that may be wearing you down. Talking about it all is often all we need and in the end it is the only way to resolve our depression.

You see meds do not ever cure depression. They just hide the symptoms for a while. SO if you start them you'll need to keep them going till you stop driving. You already know what driving tired is like. Imagine feeling exhausted before you step out of bed as well. Impossible right for a long distance driver, you'll end up searching for other drugs to make you alert which would counteract the anti d's and you'll be screwed.

So. Two choices. Stick with it, seek talk therapy to guide you through what's getting to you and help you redisciver how you drove for so long without being nored.

Or stop driving. The meds option is a way out of depression with therapy too but driving long distance on meds? Nope. You should also know that some meds for depression will not be permitted for drivers of such vehicles as they do impede your ability to drive. It says so on the packets.

[mammo]

Good for you!  I have never known anyone who has gotten worse on medication, it has certainly helped me.  But I was thinking about your post, and you may just be feeling like you're in a rut.  If something is weighing on you which is keeping you from sleeping, then you need to address this, and put it to rest.  I know you're tired of the long hours, but if you think of all the people who are out of work, no way to feed their kids, make their mortgage payment, etc, you have an awful lot to be thankful for.  Maybe just changing how you are viewing things will help you.  Although getting older, it sounds as if you have your health, I know it's cliche' but it is truly a blessing. Start thinking about what you'd like to do when the economy picks up, and plan to do it.  Don't look at driving a truck as "forever".  I think this will help you a lot.  A lot of people are down these days due to the economy and you may just be picking up on this.  But if you see no improvement, I would see a psychiatrist, mabe just some therapy will help, plus he is the best one to advise you on medication.  I'm sure the DOT allows certain anti-depressants, and you can find out which ones, discuss all this with the doctor.  He wouldn't give you anything that would interfere with your ability to drive safely, and they always start you out on a very low dosage.  They see how you do on this, and if fine, great, if still depressed he will want to up your dosage.  He may just want you to take something to help you sleep, which may also make you feel better in general.  It gets down to you finding out what DOT allows, tell your doctor, ask him every question you have, the affects, what you can expect, etc.  A psychiatrist won't put you on anything that is not going to be effective and safe.  I would write down all your questions so that you don't forget anything.  I don't know if I could even function if I weren't taking an anti-depressant.  I don't like to take pills nor do I drink, but the sadness and loss in my life is too much.  My son will be gone 10 years on Tuesday, my 18 year old grandson (my deceased son's son) died just 6 months ago. You've got to do whatever allows you to live a healthy, happy life.

[nctrucker]

As a truck driver, I am very wary of any drug the docs try to put you on. I have heard of lots of people that get worse on drugs. I have to be alert at all times behind the wheel. It scares me to take a drug I know nothing about, how it will affect me in the long run. Also, any DOT pee test will show any drug you have in your system, but I must know beforehand what is what.

[mammo]

You sound depressed, and need to see someone to get on medication and maybe therapy.  I drive a lot to and from other states visiting my kids and grandson, and often wonder how you truckers do it.  I find the highway allows for a lot of time to think, which is sometimes good, sometimes not.  But I would also think it can be a lonely job.  Being down and unable to sleep are symptoms of depression, and there are good medications to help you through all this.  Getting another job right now would be impossible, but be grateful you still have one!  Do not allow getting older to bother you, as it sure beats the alternative. I've lost several loved ones at a young age, son 31, husband 32, brother-in-law 38, grandson 18, brother 23.  I'm grateful for every day, as I know how fragile this life is.  Make it a good life, do the things you enjoy, have fun.  We don't get a second shot at this, we need to make the best of it.  See your doctor and get some help for your depression which can also cause you to want to sleep all the time, and then it would be very difficult for you to do your job.  Get to the doctor, and start living again.