22 yr old mom of 3

[mommi0f3]

I got pregnant at 17 n started luving wit my fiance since i was 17 we r still together i am a stay at home mom of 2 lil gurls a 3 yr old n a 1 yr old . Im also pregnant with my son he will be my last im gettin my tuvea tide .
I wish i cud work to get out of the house. It gets to me alot n i stress mayne cause im yung n never got to realy bee a yung gurl u knw party.
I love my kids i wish i wuda waited to have them.
My giance works all day so im alone all day wit the kids i feel depressd at times i cry n ive had suecidal thoughs i knw i wud never cause i wudnt do dat to my kids.
Im always slpy.
I need help im scared

[Bubulous]

Try to enjoy the here and now.  If you feel that you crave attention from other people, make friends on here.  You are also pregnant and your moods, as you know, can change from day to day or minute to minute.  You are a little older now than your second one and three years older than your first one.  Understand you are depressed and it is normal.  Impulsive behavior is something that a lot of people give in to at some point.  I can tell you that you will get more out of life by fighting those urges and keeping the stress down will benefit your baby greatly.  I would also express your worries to your husband and perhaps he will be open to the idea of going out together after the baby is born.  I know from experience that you are missing nothing from the party scene.  Just the social part of it is likely what you crave and that is understandable.  It sounds like you have a great family so please don't feed the negative thoughts you have for yourself.  You can make friends on here while you are pregnant.  There are other ways of interacting with people like a book club, church, throw a party or have a couple of baby showers and invite a lot of people.  If your friends are trying to get you to go out and not concerned for you, perhaps it is time to meet new ones.....Good Luck and again welcome to the forum.

[KrustyBroccoli]

Hi,

First of all, seek professional help NOW. You are under too much stress to have to cope on your own. Having a good support network, and good medical advice can make a world of difference. Seek group counselling with others in your situation.

It's normal to feel trapped by your situation. It doens't help when people tell you to deal with the consequences of your actions. When we're young we are susceptible to our emotions, and can find ourselve in situations normally not experienced until later years. It makes being a young parent especially hard, as you have missed out on the things your friends without children are currently experiencing.

Your depression and desire to go out and party is probably fueled by your fiance working and you being home alone all of the time. I bet you love your kids very, very much. Your desire to stay alive despite your feelings towards yourself show this. It's excellent of you to see them as the first priority in your life. You do have to be in second place, but it doens't mean you are last place.

If you are going to try and socialize and have recreation and enjoy your youth, then you need to be responsible about it. Are your families living nearby who can babysit for you for an evening? Your parents, or your finace's parents?

As long as you are responsible and never drink to excess in front of your children, or expose them to others who overindulge to the point of illness and bad behaviour, shielding them from things that children shouldn't have to see, then your enjoyment of life can still happen.

Putting your children first means not partying all the time, and always pawning them off on relatives. It means drinking responsibly but never doing illegal, recreational drugs that impair your judgement as a parent. It means always making it home and still be capable of caring for your kids if they need something.

Depression makes people more susceptible to addiction. Limiting your drinking and avoiding all illegal substances is key to maintaining a balanced lifestyle.

Partying can still happen, but you're a parent, so you need to party according to your circumstances. You have to party knowing that you are still a mom, and can't forget that you aren't the most important person in your world, your children are.

It's a difficult thing, having children at such a young age. It's good that you realize it might have been better to have waited, but since that can't be changed, don't focus on that. You don't need to build resentment towards them or yourself as that would be self-defeating.

Are there any programs for young mothers in your area? Groups where you can go and socialize with other parents, and enjoy fun and recreation in a responsible way.

The responsible way to act isn't always what we want, but you do have to live within what your life circumstances can safely allow. Your children need to stay first, so keep them there. Don't forget yourself, but make sure you take care of yourself and not harm yourself by partying hard. Find a safe balance that allows you to have fun, and stay a good mom.

Partying too hard will cause you to lose your children. Make sure you time to still enjoy yourself, but do it responsibly. You're an adult now, make sure you act like one.

I wish you the best, and your children as well.