Only 17 yrs old and wanting to Stop Lexapro cold turkey style after a months use after transitioning from zoloft

[meg217]

I have been severely depressed for years now, My mom has been a success with Zoloft, my dad committed suicide and my step dad has been a success so far with Lexapro. I was put on zoloft this past July. I saw zero results and just continued to take a pill that did nothing for me. I started at 25mg and by the end of November i was at 100mg I didnt feel any type of change. My parents said they saw a difference with my moods etc, but i am beginning to believe they said that to believe that i was no longer depressed, they were in so much denial. So my doctor and i came to a fork in the road either bump up zoloft or change to lexapro. I changed to Lexapro and only took 10mg for nearly a month i have never been so sick in my life. I was in the hospital for panic attacks and anxiety attacks, extremely high blood pressure, chest pains, and head aches. Sometimes when i am upset i feel like my head is going to explode. I am not sure if getrting off lexapro suddenly will be a bad outcome. My mom and step dad are not supportive with this decesion i am just sick of feeling like a rat being experimented with science. Neither of these medications have helped me and i would just rather live without them but at the same time i'm scared because of the lack of support from my family. Due to the fact that my biological dad did commit suicide i have  always had doubts with medicines and wasnt too willing in the first place. And as my family continues to be &*^!#$@ UP i would rather not experiment anymore i am just doubtful and scared. My dr was not supportive with my decision either and told me to not bother coming back to her if i wasnt going to be taking her medications. I mean what is NORMAL? how am i SUPPOSE to feel? and who is to say whats right and whats wrong??!  especially when i didnt ask to be depressed in the first place its not like i want to but through out the events in my life there has always been something to impact my depression. i need help. help me with my decesion that is so far not supportive by my parents and doctor

[meg217]

The nice thing that i am beginning to learn is my boyfriends father was in the same situation with his family and moved out at 17, his family is my support system. My parents conntiously are telling me that if i dont continue my meds they will send me away if something happens that sends me to the hospital. My drs now believe i am biopolar and thats something i am not quite willing to accept.

[meg217]

The nice thing that i am beginning to learn is my boyfriends father was in the same situation with his family and moved out at 17, his family is my support system. My parents conntiously are telling me that if i dont continue my meds they will send me away if something happens that sends me to the hospital. My drs now believe i am biopolar and thats something i am not quite willing to accept.

[LeftCoastChick]

Metg,
You are one step ahead, you know your triggers. You are aware of the negativity and you know the diagnoses that you have.  It's important that you watch yourself as suicide tends to run in families, so try to do self-checks as much as possible.

I feel like you are a twin! I was heavily into sports, especially to escape from my narcassistic and abusive mother. It seemed to help alot being away in sports as much as I could, but when I tore a tendon in my shoulder, that ended my swimming career in a moment. Having your sports taking away so quickly is heart breaking and it's like grieving a part of you.

It sounds like your step-dad is trying to control the whole family situation, and you've stepped up to make sure you brothers and sisters are okay. You should be proud of yourself for being able to to do that, though as far as I'm concerned, you are still child and it's not fair of either parent to put you in that place.  You bro/sis's are never going to forget what you've done,  I have an ex who did that, she now has the strongest relationship with her two sisters.  

Pardon me if my memory has failed, but do you have someone you can talk to that's totally impartial? Even a school counsellor?  It will also help you with your school.
I dropped out after an xmas, I just couldn't deal with school and all my other issues because I didn't have someone I could really trust. So talk to your doctor, counsellor at school, even the teen crisis hotline, they can point you in the right direction. As well it's important to do it now before you turn 18, there is more offered out there for "minors"

Keep posting, and glad to hear you're doing alright. tc LCC

[therese83]

You sound like such a nice girl.

You are turning into an adult now and soon you will be able to leave home.  Hold onto that thought and do your best to finish high school.  You can not go back and get this opportunity so easily.

I know it is hard for a lot of people to get therapy, but have you tried or considered therapy?  Especially with you early life being abused, there could be a lot of help there for you by working through your feelings.

You are beginning to stand on your own two feet and you have your own boyfriend.  You know best if the medication does anything for you.  I understand what you are saying about your parents commenting on your moods.  Really only you can say what works.  I hope that your Docor will continue to work with you in a positive way and help you to work through this.

Best of luck.

[pacernstride]

Wow, deja vu. I was 17 when I moved out of my mom and step dads house. Where I was never treated like I was apart of there family. They always turned it around on me and said it was all in my head and it was me, blah blah blah im sure youve heard all the same **** I did. lol Anyways, I would never tell you what to do but I did move out at 17 because where I live 17 is legal to move out on your own and it was the best thing for me to do in my situation. But I did finish high school and college. Is there somewhere you can live other than your parents if you really wanted/needed? It just might help with your depression to get out of a place where you don't feel welcome or like its your house. But moving out will bring a whole new world of problems, money, permanent housing, a job, etc. Maybe now isn't the best time to quit your anti-depressants, lol. But honestly if you really think being out of there house will be better be smart about it and ready.
It was the better move for me thats for sure. I havn't spoken to either my mom or stepdad in almost 2 years. The less drama the better ya know, it was just the best move for my life.

I hope maybe hearing someone else has gone through it and lived to tell about it, lol makes you feel a little better. I know a lot of people deal with the same things or worse but its hard to care about there situation when you feel yours *****, so just do whats best for you and only you because whose in your life today might not be in the future.  

[meg217]

I know exactly what triggers my depression and yet i cant escape it! its my home life my parents my brothers my school my passion of playing volleyball down the toliet.

[meg217]

I have never been diagnosed with being bipolar but my biological dad did have it hence he did commit suicide. Ive been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and reactive attachment disorder. So who knows, I was sexually abused for the first 9 years of my life by my biological dad, I dont remember much of my early childhood, and my family with my step dad and mom have been having marriage issues lately so i have had to step up and be mom to my two younger siblings, not only that but i can no longer play the sport that i have played for the past 11 years due to injuries, volleyball always was my escape. Not to mention my grades and i have never been so ready to drop out of high schoool. I feel like an outsider in the house i live in, my step dad is back to treating me like **** and my brothers are too. it is a hell in which i live in. My boyfriend is the best thing in my life he supports me in what ever i do. My stepdad is trying to push him away and accuss us of obseen lies.

[pacernstride]

Question, are you taking lexapro or the genaric?

I only ask because I have been on lexapro for close to 2 years but a couple of months back I tried taking the genaric because the price change was crazy. It made me so incrediably sick. I was having panic attacks WAY more frequently, my heart felt like it was gonna come right out of my chest, etc. Anyways Have you ever been considered bipolar? Maybe antidepressants alone arn't enough for you?

But back to your question. I try to believe in mind over matter but it seldom works for me, lol. But if you do go cold turkey I would start taking a vitamin to help with tiredness you will most likley expeirence. I take a prenatal vitamin (im not pregnant, you can buy them at the drug store) Maybe you could start with a vitamin and  breaking your lexapro in half taking half in the a.m and the other half in the p.m for like a week, then just take half 1x a day for a week or so until your wheened off. Im not a doctor just know how bad withdrawl is....

Let me know if you need anything

[LeftCoastChick]

Thank you for writing in the forum and sharing your story. After what you've been through, you are a really fighter!  

I've been through my own person meds fiasco. Sometimes it takes a while to get the right med on board. You have to remember, you are still a teenager, and your brain doesn't stop growing until you are about 21. You are naturally going to have more mood swings, shorter temp and sleep issues at times.

Some times it takes a few meds to really get it right. You pdoc(shrink) wants to you to give this Lexapro a try, and it's important that you do. If you don't following along with proper medications that have been been set up for you, it's called Non-compliance. You pdoc wants you to take them to ease up your symptoms, and then therapy will be a lot easier then without. If you aren't willing to work alongside the pdoc in all respects the doctor can withdrew services.

It sounds like you are having quite a bit of anxiety as well, I've had that feeling in my brain where I wasn't sure where my brain would implode or explode.Anxiety is a debilitating disorder by itself, but combine that with depression, it can be just overwhelming.

Never go off this type drug cold turkey, the withdrawal is akin to heroine withdrawal. You can evern have seizures. You've indicated that you've been on Zoloft, and now are you on Lexapro?  To be honest, if these are the only 2 drugs, I would have to say that you've had limit exposure to anti-depressants.

You know sweetie, none of us have asked for any of these mood disorders, I know your anger well, but this isn't going to go away. It's not fair in any way, but there are millions and I mean millions of folks batting every day, and winning.

As corny as it sounds, you are in a way going to have to befriend you depression, because once you figure out what causes it, you can the jump on it long before it gets to the point of sadness, anger and rage.In ordrer to do that though, meds can really help with the imbalance in the brain, and they you can deal with the external issues. There is no miracle cure, no instant happy pill, you still even on meds aren't always going to be "normal", whatever that is. I'm bipolar, and normal sounds really really boring!