i need a friend

[milconst]

where do you turn to when you have no friends, and no one you can really talk to?

[milconst]

thanks for the post, i appreciate your support. i would not mind talking with you, if you would like to, you can write back ican listen also.

[milconst]

ahh -work friends, the people who talk to you because they always want something. i have plenty of those. i, like you have a spouse, yet i really cant talk to her about the way i really feel. she is a great wife, but i think she counts on me for everything. iam ruly the MAN of the house. when something comes up im expected to deal with it. there really is not a shared responsibility. im the one who has to keep everything inside, put on a happyface and act like i dont have a problem in the world. im constantly stressed out at work and go home and almost have to be completely fake. it *****, but i love her, so -i guess thats just the price i have to pay.

[milconst]

thank you for the message, i just found out my business partner is on drugs. he called me and asked if i can come over he had to make a confession. when i got there we went for a ride and told me about his problem. i tried comforting him the best way i could and he proceeded to tell me i was his best frend and how he thought of me in the same pretence as his father. it was nice to hear that, but, the thing i could not get out of my head after i dropped him back off was the fact -if i was not making him money, would we be friends-no. that is the only reason he likes me, i know that and i think he knows that. when i think of a friend- they do not need to do anything for me, nor do i need to do anything for them to keep them as a friend. if i was needing to talk to them and tell them how i fwas feeling, could i? does this person only want be around me for what i can do for them? if i were to get ill would this person come visit me in the hospital? if i needed to go out and just get my mind off of things,would they go with me? if they do,would they do it just because they want to be around me? well, unfortunately i do not have anyone who meets any of this criteria in my life , i may be a friend to some people, but i dont think they are a friend to me.

[cluelessman999]

wow a hug from a friend its really great,, i think i need one at least to supprot me to live wats remaining from my life!!!!!!!!!

[adnelps]

I can certainly relate to you. My depression comes and goes. Lately it seems to come more than go. When it's here, as its been for about 3 months, nothing gives me pleasure. Like you, I no longer talk to anyone about it because they really don't want to hear it and I feel it makes them uncomfotable- mainly because they don't understand. It would be great if I had friends that I could talk to, but my friends are largely work friends. The rest of the people in my life include my partner, and my extended familily. I'm a pleasant guy but maybe the fact that my depression comes and goes prevents me from wanting to make close friends. The thing is that when I'm depressed I tend to want to shut people out- and thats kinda hard on friends. It also tends to drive the ones you have away. Anyway...it seems that lately I have to fake my emotional state with everyone- in order to keep people comfortable. That is easier for me to do at this point because my depression right now is mild to moderate. When its more than that it is very difficult to fake how I feel  and everyone starts to ask me what's wrong and why I look so unhappy. Anyway... I know I'm rambling but I also want to say that the few times I've taken medication such as Lexapro, Effexor or Pristiq, I've quit because it has failed to lift my depression and has only given me a bunch of side effects that make my life that much more difficult. I hope it helps you to know that you're not alone!

[Rustle]

I can relate to so much of what you have said. I find it hard making friends because depending on my mood I can be the life of the party and get on with everyone and have a laugh with them but at other times I will shut everyone out. There are all my 'friends' who I see at work etc.... but don't know the real me and then I only have one true friend who understands what I'm going through, and she is the only person who knows anything in my head. Sometimes I feel like a burden so even if I feel the need to talk I won't. Here is another cyber hug just for you! ((((hug)))) I'm new here too.

[milconst]

thank you and i wish you were here cause a hug from someone who truly does not want or expect anything in return would be really nice.

[milconst]

thanks for the message, i really do appreciate it and im going to take you up on it. i feel almost exactly the same way as you described -i kind of feel stupid when i do ask somebody to do something and they turn me down, its wierd i have never had a problem in the girl department, but never really felt i had any actual friends-male or female. getting a girl is not the same as getting a friend. it is much harder. i have a few people who work for me who i like, but because they work for me i have to monitor what i say pretty closely, and the worst part of that is they dont get to actually get to know the real me.and then you never know if they are talking to you because you are their boss and just feel obligated. i live in a city i moved to, so i have no child hood friends or anything like that and at times just feels so onely even though im usually around someone

[Pownce]

ill be your friend.. i feel quite distant to my own friends and family. feeling alone is not a good feeling. hugs are always great.. if i was with you rite now i would give i big tight bear hug.. it would make both of us feel better. =)

[Andrew590]

I am new here. I feel the same way. I don't have anyone I feel I can talk to. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about my problems. I feel like a wine bag if I do and feel like no one wants to listen any ways. I don't have any one I consider friends either. I go through times when I really just need to get it out but I feel ashamed in myself for letting myself get the way I do. So much so that I won't even talk to anyone even though it's just boiling inside of me. I have a very low self esteem and self confidence and I am very insecure with that and at times I get depressed. I think this place is a great place to turn to start talking to people as I find there are alot of people going through the same things and it feels good when it seems like you are actually helping someone else by letting them talk. I feel very comfortable talking to people here and I wouldn't mind if you ever needed anyone to talk to if you turned to me to help.

[iam1butterfly]

I'll be your friend... I frequent this site on almost a daily basis. And, although I may
not know all of the answers, I have an opinion on almost everything.

[lost_myself]

This is a great place to start. I suffered from depression and aniety a couple years ago and found some good friends and people to talk to and got some good advice here too..So, what brought you here?

[marialou]

dear milconst,maybe here,iv friends,but no one i can really talk to...and i can talk,believe me..ha! when it comes to my fears and stuff,it hurts my friends or they think im goin mad when i break down.i know it hurts them when they see me so low so i hide it now..im also a good listener,hope you keep well,keep postin