Hi, im a 19 year old girl, a type of person who loves to mingle with everyone, meet new friends and attend rave parties. I love that life. But suddenly it all ****** up like my grades went down ive become an irregular student in college which means more effin years till i graduate. I dont know i seemed lost. I lost focus at everything like i dont know what to do with my life.I feel so alone thats why im trying to fit with everyone else. Maybe it all started out when i knew i was adopted when i was like 14. I was pressured by the idea that i was adopted like everyone my relatives know it while i dont it pressures me in a way that i must be that good girl who must be good at school have a good job. Everyone else keeps an eye on me. I have the idea that i want to prove that i am worth it to my parents thats why i went for engineering for college. But because of all this pressure in my mind it seems that i dont know what to do. I became lost not caring for school, smoke and go to clubs.
Things have changed lately i became unsociable no more parties no more jammings and its like i dont have interest in school at all like im absent most of the time and just lay on my bed and be alone. And i get tired of getting along with everyone like i want to be alone. I have loving parents and i know they will do everything for me but i just feel different from everyone now. And i never attempted to commit suicide or whatever it sounds stupid its like it will not solve any of your problems. Now my question is what will i do? It seems all is ****** up with school especially its like my future. How will i cope up and motivate myself to go on with my life? And should i stay away from my college friendsfor my sake? Becaude i think its diffrnt from my friends back in highschool. They dont care at all like they are there only for good times, they are the people ive been with in my college years should i be alone and focus in my studies?