Depression due to studies and unable to make my parents happy

[Scarlett343]

My sister was brilliant student in school. She study ACCA but she is unable to focus on students. In Past two year, she only pass 5 papers and fail 2 times. Now she is in depression. She not talked with anyone and behave rudely. Kindly tell me the solution.

[polles]

I also started to get depressed because of it and it was hard to concentrate. At that time, my vision fell. I began to be more calm, because this is just a period in life that will soon end and a new white streak will appear.

[specialmom]

I sure hope you come back and talk to us about your sister.

[shadowmed]

I am sorry to hear this. It must be hard for you as a caring sister. If she is struggling and trying to make her parents happy whereas they are disappointed in her, this must be particularly upsetting for her. Could she see a counsellor outside the family, one with a good reputation for helping with depression and self image? You can be a great help to her by listening and being supportive. It is not the purpose of a child to make their parents happy - to be kind and supportive if possible, yes - but parents who show disappointment will only be making her more depressed.

[specialmom]

Hi. Welcome to the group. It's really hard. Family members that suffer depression are suffering, no matter what their behavior looks like. Being grumpy, rude, agitated, angry even are all symptoms of depression for some. One of the best things that you can do as her sister is to be an ear. A sympathetic, compassionate, understanding ear. Let her talk. Validate her feelings. Make her feel heard. As much as you may want to jump in with advice or ways to try to make her feel better or think logically about her school worries, don't. Not now. She needs to feel like she's not alone and someone 'gets it'. That is very healing.

Depression is a disorder. It can happen for no reason at all and can be severe. And that can impede ability to study. Do normal things. Stay on top of your game. Depression can also be situational such as your identify at risk because while always a good student, you are struggling now in an atmosphere of increased rigor and academic competition. So, which do you think came first? Depression and school troubles or school troubles and depression?

How old is she? Are your parents unreasonable? When you say she is unable to make them happy, that's frankly, quite sad. That means she's been doing things for them trying to 'gain love' rather than just knowing she is loved no matter what. Is this made up in her head or are your parents truly like this?

We'll start with that and then continue after your input.