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Avatar universal

Depression and Overweight...help needed fast

I want to stay as anonimous as I can, but this problem became serious, so I am asking for the right place to seek out support or any possible help on internet.
Our family is in big debts (1000-2000 Euro +) and it's serious problem in our country because of high unenployment percentage. My mother is working really hard for small salary and my dad aswell. I am concerned about him, because he started to fall into a depression very often. He says "I don't have anywhere to go anymore." and usually around 23 pm, after work and dinner. It's not just financial state, he's lost his father about 1-2 years ago (and his only support, I boelieve) and .... His medical condition is really bad and we have no money to afford treathments. He is overweight (I mean beer stomach, but still too much) and that's the problem because:
His hip is, we boelieve, badly damaged and it hurts him alot, and leg aswell. It became worse when a thief robbed him (he is a junkie and poliece knows who he is, but the amount of corruption is too high for police to do anything about it). He took away 30.000 dinars (around 300 euros) which was his month salary + side job. After that he lost his old job (Electronic store (fridges, washing machines...) where he lifted heavy stuff) and found a very low paid job (<200 euros / month and not always paid on time). He has trouble walking and can't walk too much because his leg hurts. So...he is unable to do any physical jobs...
He's got cyst (i don't know how to say it on engl.) in his sinuses and breathes very heavily and often has high blood pressure and wants windows to be open in order to cool down and get some air.

We are 3 in the family and we live in a flat. My mom and I are trying to cheer him up, to talk with him, but he sometimes prefers watching boring stuff on TV and drinking beer (which I think is bad for his condition). Recently, he started showing (for me serious) signs of depression and I am really concerned, altrough I tried to make it easyer for him. We would hug manly and say "It will be better.", but we know it may not. He is also afraid of dying ( if I didn't mention, he is born in 1963., currently 52 years old) and he fears that his heart will stop from heat or from not breeding during the night, because sometimes (often), he coughs during the night and breathes heavily. I've measured his heart beat rate in one of the recent "depression attacks" and it was more than 100, maybe more than 120, but I was too afraid to tell him that, so I lowered the numbers until it really lowered, but still was higher than normal....

I am writing too much about his unsolved and unable to be solved medical condition, but I've came to this forum in order to find any possible help I can for him, from people that know how to deal with this stuff. I really don't want to let him know I posted this for now (if it isn't nesesarry), but I want to get some advices on what to do, how to have positive impact on him and encourage him to do something with his life (or at least try to)...
4 Responses
794366 tn?1418009395
Sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders for someone your age.
I suffer from depression and am having trouble getting help just like your family. It is just my kid and I and we love each other very much, however, the situation gets to be so desperate at times that we do fight with each other a lot. The only thing I can tell you is to keep reassuring your father that you love him and try to distract him from his depression by whatever you may think may make him laugh or anything that will get him out of his head, so he is not in deep depression all the time.
I am not going to tell you how to do that because that is hard but you know your father better than anyone.
Just let him know that there is hope out there and tomorrow is a brand new day and to count your blessings and to be happy with what you already have ....little as it may be.
I know because things are not going well for us either so I try to meditate, read articles on depression, eat right, exercise, etc.
I take one day at a time....that's all we can really do.
Wish you and your family the best......
I am here for you whenever you need to chat.
Avatar universal
Love your father, encourage him to get professional help, but don't put his cure on your shoulders.  Fixing depression depends on the individual who has it having the motivation to find and take help, and it's doubly frustrating because the very nature of depression is to give up and not try to get better and change what's wrong.  Your father's weight is due to the excessive intake of simple carbs, from what you're saying, but only he can decide to stop eating too many simple carbs -- he needs a new diet less the eating of things including beer that metabolize quickly into sugar.  For the depression he needs to have some things go well for him and he needs a professional to help guide him to some form of treatment.  But you can't force him to do that, so do your best to counsel him on your worry and offer support and love, even try to find that professional for him, but if he won't do for himself, all you can offer is unconditional love and support until he does and keep urging him to look for that help.  Good luck.
Avatar universal
they have no money and are in dept . they cannot afford any treatment he says that in the first line of the tread, thats why the dad is on a downer and drinks  he see no way out
Avatar universal
I am 16 and in school for a good portion of day and if I am at home, I don't talk about that stuff too much...
He lost his, until now, worst paid job (20.000 dinar per month (1 E ~ 120 dinars)) and talked like there is hope a few days and today, he jokingly speaks of suicide and talks less than before and also talks in a different way... I am talking with him about stuff.... about electronics, stuff on TV, chess.... but... situation scares me sometimes because we are currently relying on my mom's salary which is not much bigger than 200E...

Any suggestions on how can I affect his condition or contribute to family situation?
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