Depression for 12 years

[LoveJersey]

Hello everyone. Well just need some  help. Well my sister been dealing with depression for 12 years. It's a on and off situation but now it got worst. Everything was fine with her until her daughter which is my niece was treated for  leukemia when she was 4 yrs old. Thank God she fought it off but ever since she was told her daughter had leukemia she got depressed and blamed herself for her daughter having leukemia and ever since she been depressed. It's killing our family with this and especially my mother who is in her 60's. Anyone out there has any advise of how to handle this. Also now she has an anxiety with the depression. Any advise would be helpful. Also were in New Jersey.  Thank you!

[sara12345]

Perhaps you could have your sister try another psychiatrist.  And make sure she is seeing a psychiatrist instead of just a doctor.  If she is showing anxiety, then she may need an anti-anxiety med along with the anti-depressant.  Hopefully she will tell the doctor that she feels people are against her because that might be further information that will help the psychiatrist to treat her.  You cannot get any information from her psychiatrist, but I believe that you can share information with her doctor.  So sorry that your family is so affected by her.  Your mother needs counseling of her own to cope with your sister.  I hope that you might suggest that to her.

[LoveJersey]

Thank you. Well she's been taking all types of medication but they been giving her a shot for it which made her even worst and made her weak. The counseling my mom goes with her but she goes when she wants to because she feels like that is not going to help her. She feels like everyone is against her/ looking at her weird. Like myself I'm tired of the same thing over and over. She's a grown woman and it makes me feel like crap because my mom worries and cries of the situation my sister is in and that makes me mad because our mother is in her 60's. In that age for her to worry And etc is not a good thing for her health.

[MYoungAtHeart]

I would make sure that on her visits back and forth to the hospital that someone is doing a complete work up on her and checking the level of her medication as it might need an adjustment and that they are actively checking her thyroid and other physical issues that might be hiding...

Many many times in depression there is the Good Mother/Bad Mother thought processes going on that are actually there even if the child enjoys good health.  The Good Mother/Bad Mother can emerge even if the child who grows into an adult decides to have a life without Mother in it.  

You say your sister has been in recovery for 12 years but is that just with actively taking medicine or does she have a counselor or group that she is going to on a continuing basis.

I do agree with many of the posters that the healthy members of the family can become so enmeshed in the patients life that they become ill themselves....Perhaps you could go with your sister to her counselor and get your sisters permission to sit in on a session or 2 and give your own imput into what is going on because your sister might not be telling all that she is going through....

I do wish you the very best and please let us know how you and your family and your sister are doing in the future...

M

[LoveJersey]

Thanks for the advice. Yes she had been getting professional help for the past 12 yrs  and taking medication. But It looks like it not helping her because she goes back and forth to the hospital. I also think its her part because we have to make sure she's taking the medication. If not she goes back to the same person.

[newuser43]

yes i agree your sister needs professional help, the family can be there for her but cant help her through it, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. i went through something similiar a few yr ago, i blamed myself for my son becomeing ill and ended up with severe anxiety depression, my family were there for me but theres only so much they can do, i understand how the family must be feeling it drags you down aswell. in the end i ended up haveing to have CTB (cognative therapy behaviour) sessions, this really helped me along with mental health workers comeing to my home and antidipressants. the first step is for your sister to accept she has a problem and is willing to acceppt help, it is a long prossess but she will get there in the end but she has to help her self too and work with these proffessionals. i am fine now but im still on antidepressants, some people dont beleive in them but they really worked for me. good luck elaine xx

[sara12345]

Your sister obviously needs medical help, but she must be willing to get it.  The rest of the family needs to learn to have boundaries with your sister and probably need counseling for it yourselves.  Good luck with it.