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647391 tn?1275020233


I just have been released by the counselor that I have been seeing for 3 years.  I voiced a difference of opinion, which I believe is okay.  I don't believe that everything said, I have to agree.  We were talking about my relationship with people/kids.  I believe that I don't have to agree always with what they say as the only way to be accepted.  Just as they have a opinion, I can have one also.  Have been told by my family doctor that I should always be in counseling since I deal with depression and seasonal disorder. What do you think I should do?
10 Responses
Avatar universal
I'm not too sure what you are getting at, so Ill address the notion that you are not allowed to have an opinion.  If you are going to a doctor/therapist and they give you advice, they are doing so with the best of intentions.  They can look back on cases similar to yours and look for similarities....

They are treating you and giving you the best advice that they can regarding your case.  

My doctor once told me, "You keep paying me and I'll keep giving you the best advice I can.... only you can put this advice to work and allow it to make a difference."

In essence, I thought my doctor was wrong.  His opinion didn't meet mine even half way.  I elected to not listen and I suffered with depression for about a decade and a half longer than I needed too.
480448 tn?1426952138
I agree completely with brice.  Sometimes, we see something one way....but then we're missing the big picture.  You're angry that your therapist has dismissed you, but was a "difference in opinion" really cited as a reason?  Or, was it more tlike the therapist felt perhaps she could no longer be of help to you due to you perhaps being close minded about some of her recommendations?  I have a very hard time believing that one disagreement, or difference in opinion, would cause her to just up and show you the door.  There has to be more to it than that.  And, I mean that respectfully.  She would have had to have given you a letter, what exactly did the letter say?

When it comes to something like therapy, we have to dig deep and sometimes come to uncomfortable conclusions about ourselves or our lives.  That's not always easy...but it's necessary to be able to see the whole picture, and to address the real issues at hand.

Just try to be open minded about the situation, find a new therapist, and really give it your all.  Put this behind you.  It's not always about being "right"...sometimes it's about opening your eyes to what someone is saying.

Very best to you.

647391 tn?1275020233
by text message.  I had texted her first.  saying that the way the conversation ended, I felt that it was hanging over my head.  The way she talked to me felt mean spirited.  I was asking questions to try and understand.  I pushed for answers.  I thought counseling was about helping me through the tough stuff.  The area of relationships is a tough subject and I really wanted to understand.  I having to deal with the fact that the counseling session didn't end calmly - time ran out and I was expression frustration not with her answer, with how I was feeling.  The text was blunt and I am sure it was why I turned her off.  it is part of my personality that she has seen.  I never thought she would give up on me.  I am not out of my head.  I have learned lots and used a lot of things discussed.
I appreciate the answers received and I understand.  Don't know what direction I will go.  Whether I will go at life without a counselor or find a new person.  tough to start over - not really over - just have get use to someone else.
480448 tn?1426952138
You TEXTED your therapist?  Had she given you permission to contact her via text?  How did you get her cell phone #?

To be very honest, it sounds as though you acted inappropriately outside of the patient-therapist relationship.  Sounds like for one, (as you said)...you pushed her for some kind of clarification via text message.  If you were upset about something, or needed clarification, the time to do so would have been at your next therapy session.

Even if she had given you permission to text her, sounds like you went overboard.  You have to understand that while a therapist is there to help you...it would be inappropriate to contact her excessively about something related to your therapy, outside of a therapy session.

It sounds like you recognize what you did wrong, which is good.  I think finding a new therapist is the way to go.  Sometimes, even though you have to regain that "comfort"  level, a new perspective can be good.  Plus, I do believe sometimes you can become TOO comfortable with a therapist, which sounds like that may have happened with you...for you to step outside bounds of a patient-therapist kind of relationship...and kind of treat her more like a friend or acquaintance, than a therapist...sounds like the lines may have gotten blurred for you.

Very best to you.
647391 tn?1275020233
I had permission to text.  I had her phone number.  There were times that she helped me with some very tough time.

I met with my counselor.  She said she ended with me for she felt that I needed someone else to work with me.  Her and I had reached our end point.

I will be be on a journey to find someone else.  Not a easy thing, but I believe to be a very healthy thing to happen.  

Not sure how I will proceed with looking.  I will visit with them and explain what I am looking for/need.  Hopefully there is a good match for me.
Avatar universal
Sorry to hear that you had such a bad time with your former therapist.   Therapists are just people and your past therapist could not keep impartial as therapists are expected to be.  If you think that another therapist can be helpful to you, then I would look for another one and get rid of that one if it isn't a good fit.

You say that you were told by your family doctor that you should always be in counseling due to depression and seasonal disorder.  That is a highly unusual opinion to deal with those problems.  Therapy can be helpful for awhile, but "always"?  And sometimes it's not helpful at all.  

Light therapy can be terrific for seasonal disorder.  You should try it.  Even the regular light tubes helped me years ago. I stacked about 3 of them on my desk for about 30-45 minutes a day in the morning.

And anti-depressants can be very helpful with depression.  There are many millions of people taking anti-depressants who no longer need a therapist.  

So maybe you need a different doctor as well.  I wish you the best.

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