I Need Help.

[rawr_iloveyou]

I am 15 years old and I believe I have depression and I think maybe some anxiety. The symptoms and signs of both are matching almost perfectly. Not to mention, they both run in the family.
I need help, and am willing to admit it, but I don't know who to tell. I am afraid to tell anyone but someone who can actually help me. I don't know that I can bring myself to talk to my mom because she may not take it seriously. Over time, I have gone from being the happy go lucky girl who loved being with friends and having fun, to the girl that sits in her room all day, usually crying trying to hold off the urge of messing with the knife in her drawer.

I need help.

[rawr_iloveyou]

Yeah. That was his reaction. He was like "babe just cheer up it's ok." and stuff. He is getting better about just accepting that I could very possibly have depression, and he is getting better at knowing what to say. Haha.

I hope he never has to go through it either. I would say I hope my friends never have to go through it, buuuut, he is kinda my only friend. :/

[MoonriverandMe]

Hi! I understand totally what you mean about him not understanding about it. I have loads of friends who know about it and are really sympathetic, but if a person hasn't been through it, they really can't understand it at all. I think people who haven't suffered from depression just think that it's like feeling down - like everyone does occasionally *shrugs* . They are soo lucky that they don't understand...and i hope my friends will never have to go through the hell that people who suffer from depression go through. :[

[rawr_iloveyou]

Thank you for the reply. My boyfriend knows about it, but I don't think he quite understands what it does to me. I'll try to think of who I can talk to...

[MoonriverandMe]

Hi! I'm so sorry you are feeling depressed. I understand exactly how you feel, and how much it hurts. Since the aroudn the age of 14 i have suffered from depression. It can really help to talk to someone though, it doesn't have to be someone who you are really close to. I have talked to several people, my Mum is my main "counsellor" - although i have been told to seek professional counselling by the Doctors..eventually! - but i have often talked to people who i just somehow felt drawn to. It could be a teacher, an older friend, a cousin...seriously...there are people out there who are more than willing to just sit and listen to your troubles and how you feel. :]
And, please don't try to hurt yourself, from experience, it does more harm than the slight good it it does when you're in the moment.
*hugs*
Take care of yourself! :]

[rawr_iloveyou]

I think she may not take it seriously because she knows I can be upset at the world one minute and happy the next. That and she has never seen me cry like I do when I lock myself in my room. She may take it seriously, I'm just afraid she wont.

My uncle and my aunt on her side of the family have it as well as my grandma and her father I believe. I'm not sure about my dad's side of the family. I have never met any of them, he doesn't want me to.

About hurting myself, I have tried. A genuine effort, but I couldn't do it. I'm too afraid of pain and anything sharp. So I guess that is a good thing.

Thank you for replying.

[mjbrown]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling depressed and anxious lately. I've been there, and I know how much it s*cks. It's great that you are reaching out for help. Treatment is available, and your post on this forum is a good first step. What makes you think your mother won't take you seriously? You said that depression and anxiety runs in your family. Who else suffers from it? Maybe you can talk to someone in your family who has experienced this? It's important to let someone know what you are going through - especially if you have thought about hurting yourself.

If you are thinking about hurting or killing yourself, please call 1-800-SUICIDE asap.

Think about who you can talk to, and we come up with a way of letting them know what you've been going through so that your suffering is taken seriously.

All the best..