I Could Actually Relate To This Also I Told My Boyfriend So Many Time I Promise Like Today I Cutted My Self I Though I Was On Recovery :/ & Then I Showed Him And I Said "Are You Mad At Me " And He Said No I'm Mad At That And Pointed my Long Cut I Had Did In School With Anger & Right Now I Feel Extreamly Horrible :'(
I Could Actually Relate To This Also I Told My Boyfriend So Many Time I Promise Like Today I Cutted My Self I Though I Was On Recovery :/ & Then I Showed Him And I Said "Are You Mad At Me " And He Said No I'm Mad At That And Pointed my Long Cut I Had Did In School With Anger & Right Now I Feel Extreamly Horrible :'(
Wow i had the EXACT experience as you...both my boyfriend and mom saw it and i blamed it on my cat but they didnt buy it. Once you start its sooo hard to stop cutting because it is a release. Its a kind of pain we can control and i really dont know how to explain it, but somehow it makes things feel better. Just remember that cutting leaves an ugly scar, one that shows apperently above you skin...if you work at it you can fix the scars below your skin..but the ones above last forever
I have been doing this for a while... started with random cuts when I was 12 or so, own my own nobody would see it, it seemed to distract my mind from what was actually happening. Often when I go manic and depress I cut myself to divert the sensation. not something that is good at all but for me it helped me from doing other extreme things. It's a delayer i'd say.
I can totally relate, I started cutting last month. The first time I did it I was really scared and freaked out that I did it, so when my boyfriend came over I debated back and forth the whole day to show him or not. In the end we fell asleep and at some point I must have woken up feeling hot and took off my hoodie, and in the morning he woke me up asking what I did to myself. He was really supportive though and we talked. After the 3rd time I promised I would stop, but then I had a horrible night this weekend and I did it again. I felt so ashamed of myself, and that made me cut again! So yesterday I told him up front that Id broken my promise and I started crying. We had another really long talk, no more promises. He wants me to call him when I want to cut instead. I hope it will work better... just knowing he'll be there for me like that has already made me feel better. Maybe you can try this approach too, good luck. :)
i used to cut myself and i kind of stopped doing this on my own just looking at the ugly scars i just had to stop i used another technique which is getting a tattoo or a peircing i dont think i ever heard of anyone doing this but it helps if you cant afford to get either just get someone you really love and trust to hide the things you use to cut yourself with or just really try to calm your self down by venting on paper before you act. this really worked for me
Please dont cut yourself. I tell my wife who wants a tattoo and my daughter who wants to wear make-up.... Your body is perfect the way it is, and too beautiful to be enhanced.
I have read that cutting is a way to feel something, even though it is a negative thing. It has caused your boyfriend to speak with you about it and notice you. I wonder if something is going on that is causing your depression / stress to increase?
I self harm too, have done, on and off for years, although Im much better at preventing it now, and although I think it I can NOT have to do it. I do relapse but It is possable not to do it. Talking about it and why you feel the need to do it and how it makes u feel does help. Its good u can speak to ur boyfriend about it.
If you haven't talked with a psychiatrist about it you should. It is self destructive but for some people a form of self medication. Cognitive behavioral therapy works in addition. There are support groups as well:
http://selfmutilatorsanonymous.org/