New here, depression?

[andrewm88]

Hi everyone, for the past 2 months i have been suffering with severe anxiety and panic attacks, however the anxiety has slipped away giving way to my depression. I feel totally worthless, i see no bright future and i constantly now think about dying and suicide, like i would just be better off dead. I go for walks and find myself having to turn and go home because i just dont see the point in trying to get my mind off the depression. Everything seems to be dull, grey and i seem to just have lost my zest for life. I wake up in the morning and just dont see the point in getting my day started, its like i just dont see the point in living anymore. I find it hard to beleive that life can be like this and I always ask what is it that I did to deserve this? I am 21 and have my entire life to live, but i dont want to live if im going to feel like this everyday. When i had anxiety i was doing fine in school, but since this depression has kicked in my grades have dropped from 80's to 60's- i have never gotten 60's in my life. I also feel like my environment, where i have been living for 3 years no longer seems familiar and everything seems strange and almost dream like? Is this depression? Please help i dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[j17c27]

I would tell your doc you want to see a specialist!...it does sound like your depressed.  Get help now! The earlier you fight it off, the easier it will be.  Depression is awful.  But it is not you.  You need to get your old self back! I can connect to a lot of your symptoms.  Im not doing so well in school...im isolating myself and just whenever Im alone i get very sad and suicidal..but when Im with friends I feel a lot better.  Just know your not alone, and you can overcome this!

[andrewm88]

thanks so much for the input! i wanted to add that this all started when i moved in by myself, i love being around people and ever since i have moved in by mysefl the anxiety started now the depression, i so afraid to be alone now. when im by my friedns im usually fine! its when im alone even alone at school the depression kicks in, with the occasional anxiety. do you think its just that i am afraid to be alone? i live in canada and to see a psychiatrist you need to be referred by a doctor, my doctor just said he wants to put me on antidepressants but i would rather have a specialist ie a psych tell me this!- peace of mind you know? bahhhh

[mammo]

Yes, you have the typical symptoms of depression, it does to us exactly what you describe!  There is so much help for you!!!  See a psychiatrist for an evaluation so the two of you can determine the best course of treatment. I suggest a psychiatrist because they are most knowlegeable with the medications to treat this.  Often our depression has a root cause and therapy is helpful with this, but it may be a result of your anxiety.  Medication can give you your life back.  Depression and/or anxiety is like any other medical condition that requires medication  to control the symptoms.  Know you're not alone, the world is full of people dealing with depression and/or anxiety.  Talking to us was a big step, now take the next and make an appt. to get help.  You're right, you have your whole life ahead of you and it's time to start living it!  Talk or vent to us we understand and do care, and just knowing that there are so many others who have and are enduring this helps.  Don't waste any more time, seek help.  I wish you all the best and take care of YOU!