No question.

[Poo44clooner]

Just found out that they were right about me.
I'm a freak.
I'm invisible.
No one can hear me.
So don't bother.

[RubyWitch]

I don't know who "they" are, but I doubt very much they were right about you.
Why would anyone think you were a freak?
I can "see" you and I can hear you and I want to "bother!"
Please talk to me.
Peace
Greenlydia

[RainLover71]

Take it easy and relax for a minute,no one,s invisible and we want to help,so talk to us there are great people here on medhelp including the 2 above answerers.Let them help.Tell us what,s on your mind.There,s always a solution to a problem.

[Poo44clooner]

Thank you for your comment.  You seem to understand what I am going through.  "They" are my family.  I am glad that I am not alone in this.

[freddie8605]

Yea we have to stick together on this. :)

Freddie

[Poo44clooner]

Thank you for hearing me...it does mean a lot to me and not lecturing me.  
I get so many people lecturing me about anything and everything in my life.  They don't see the struggle that's in me and for that I feel invisible.  I am not a robot and although I have people call me a freak, I deep down don't feel that much of a freak.  Just feel really alone and different from everyone.

[senile1]

HI, i feel sorry for all you so called friends.  you have nothing to be ashamed of, they do. real friends would'nt treat you like that. so what if you are overweight some. everybody has issues. maybe you need some new friends.  i would'nt take to kindly to be called a freak either. you seem to be a healthy person. stop taking the abuse, start whupping some butt.  you really should kick all your so called friends to the curb, and get out and make new friends. here's a good place to start. i am a country girl,45 years old,ex marine.. SEMPER FI.  I don't take crap from anybody, and you should'nt either. regardless of what people say about you, don't let it get the best of you. hope i am not stepping on any toes.

[Poo44clooner]

Thanks for your comment.  Don't have friends.  They are my family members.  I have tried to argue my point but they just walk away and ignore me which hurts even more.  So I just don't participate in family gatherings anymore, even for the holidays.
Thanks a million
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[freddie8605]

I am the black sheep in my family too, the weird one, different know matter how hard i try. Sometimes its just easier to say "okay i don't fit in", and stop trying. But of course that's up to you.

Freddie

[Poo44clooner]

Maybe you are right but it is so hard when you love your parents so much and desperately still need their approval.  I should stop that.  I should learn by now that I don't need anyone's approval but when they constantly throw it back in your face each time you see them it becomes really hard. I guess it is something I need to work on.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[senile1]

i am sorry for the way your family treats you. i can't ever imagine my folks doing me that way. since they don't seem to care about you,  why don't you discuss this with your folks?  

[Poo44clooner]

I have tried to discuss this with my family, my father just says, "Ok Angela that's enough" and walks away.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[senile1]

I think you need to move on with your life. I know it hurts to be rejected. What is the deal with them? I think that whatever their problem is with you, that they should at least talk to you.Just by talking to you, they act like you have done something awful. Whatever  it is, you got to forgive. Maybe you need to forgive them and start over somewhere new. You sound like a very nice person. They may get you really depressed, and it is not worth it. Get out, make some new friends and quit calling yourself a freak.

[innerchild09]

Im so sorry that your family makes you feel this way and they wont even listen to you. That is really hard. I understand what its like to feel like the freak of the family. I feel really uncomfortable talking about my issues with them cuz I dont feel they understand. They havent actually called me a freak but I feel like they treat me differently. Its really hard. I know its hard to not be around family cuz you know they are family but if its really that bad then maybe not seeing them is the best thing you can do for you. Either that or just try to ignore their ignorance and dont let what they say pull you down.

[Poo44clooner]

I am glad to know that I am not alone. For now I will have to stay away for my own mental health, but I really love my mother and father so much. When I stay away I get terrible nightmares and awful panic attacks, waking up unable to breathe.  Then I have to go see them and it makes me feel better.
Can't win for losing.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[innerchild09]

Im sorry that you have nightmares if you stay away from your family. I dont know but I was wondering do you think you feel guilty when you dont see them? I was wondering cuz maybe thats why you are having these dreams. Still I think it sounds like minus the dreams part that staying away might be the best choice if you feel your own mental health is worse being around them because you should do whats best for you and if it means keeping the family in your life or avoiding them a lot. Maybe not forever if that helps but just dont see them as much. Just what I was thinking. Still I know nightmares arent a good thing either. Hopefully youll be able to get some peaceful sleep weather you avoid them or not.

Just wanted to share a bit of my resent feeling like a freak of the family. So recentally I had an uncle who passed away. So I wasnt aware of but everyone was writing notes and stuff as in memorial for this memory book. No one bothered to tell me about it at all. I would have put my own thoughts in it. It upset me a lot when I found out and I started crying cuz no one bothered to tell me about it. So I wasnt even able to write my own memory thing for him. Even my mom knew about it.

Anyway Im listening and I understand how you feel.

[Poo44clooner]

Sorry to hear about the passing of your uncle and how your family did not give you a chance to write your final goodbyes to him.  Sometimes families hurt you the most because they know which buttons to push.  I hope you get to feeling better about it.
Sounds like we're 2 peas in a pod.  I heart aches so much that I cannot see my parents, it has already affected my depression, and it is getting pretty bad. I am also feeling like I have the flu and my stomach hurts so much I can't eat. Stopped exercising and doing all those other good things that made me joyful inside.  It is a no win situation.  I lose either way.
Thanks for spending a few minutes in sharing your day with me and reminding me that I am not forgotten.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[innerchild09]

Thank you, Yeah I think family can push your buttons. In my case I dont think its what they were doing. I think I was forgotten. I dont see them that much but still it does hurt when your own family doesnt think about how you feel. Its like they dont even notice.

I hope talking about it has helped. Im sorry that you are going through so much. I understand why this is depressing. Im sure if you had it your way everything would be wonderful with your family and there wouldnt be anyone being left out or treated differentally. I know I wish things were good with my family but truth is its not and I cant really do anything about it. To me I think of family like ours dysfunctional family.

I know what you mean feeling like that no matter what you try to do or no matter the choice either way you lose. Thats how I feel. Not just with family but really anything I go for. Feels like no matter what I choose it ends up hurting me more.

And you are welcome hope my post helped some. And no you are not forgotten.

[senile1]

Hi, I know it ***** being left out, but don't let it get you down. you don't want to be sick all the time.I have depression and the panic attacks, and they are awful.Been there. I don't know you, but i enough to care that you don't want go down that road. You have a friend right here, ME! good or bad. I think something is very wrong if your family treats you that way. you sound like you are a very sweet person,with a lot of love to give. I don't have a lot of friends either. have you tried getting you a pet? I have two cats and i love them dearly. They will be a lot of company for you. Mine make life a little easier.

[Poo44clooner]

Thank you for thinking of me it does mean a lot.  I know that when your family members consider you as invisible, less than they are, a mess, your feelings don't matter or even your thoughts. It hurts when my dad continually tells me that he feels sorry for my teenage daughter because she has no parents. I said I am her mother, he said, yea, but look at you.  Also, it's great when my dad tells my daughter that people who are obese don't have feelings and my daughter tried to defend me.  I used to be thin but still that wasn't good enough for him, it was always something.  I told him when I was in my 20s that I wanted to work in a lab and he said in a very hurtful way "Why be a janitor when you can be a doctor?"  I became a Clinical Laboratory Scientist for 15 years, it was never good enough.  If I tell my mother or father something that they should know they don't believe me but when either my older or younger brother says the same exact thing, they think he is a genius.  During family gatherings, doesn't matter if  both my brothers' wives were at the table, I was instructed in front of everyone to get up and start clearing the table and do the dishes and while I'm doing the dishes, I hear him yelling "get the coffee started, get the milk out, fruit and the cake."  No one helps.  Happens every single time.  I have more examples like this.  I am there but invisible, but when they need help I live 5 minutes away from my parents and they call me first because they know that I would and do drop everything and race over there to help especially if they are hurt.  My teenage daughter brought this to my attention and has tried to stop me from doing this.  I just can't stop trying to help people, I start to feel guilty.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[innerchild09]

I understand what you mean wanting to help and stuff and its good to help it really is. Still theres a line that is crossed. Its good to help people but if its getting in the way of your own mental health then I think putting yourself would be the best. Im sorry that you feel guilty not helping but truth is you are not guilty. Sometimes you need to take care of you. And plus they treat you like **** and they act like you are invisable. They dont help you when you need help. They make you feel like nothing you do is good enough. And sorry about my strong opinions today but the thing he said about obese people makes me mad. Not because you said he said that. But mad that he said something so insensitive and judgemental. He obviosly hasnt been big. of course them not having any feelings is completely rediculus. I dont know if he really believes that or is just being a jerk but if he really thinks they dont have feelings then theres something wrong with him. In fact a lot of them are probably depressed too because some arent able to do things they used to be able to do and they get tired easy and then people terrorize them and just say they are lazy and all that. Not saying everyone isnt happy whos overweight. Im sure theres a lot of people who are perfectly happy the way they are and not feeling like they need to change a thing. And then theres the ones who look in the mirror and feel ugly and worthless. And its just like OMG that someone would say something so mean. Sorry I kind of ranted a bit in your post but people like that really push my buttons. Im sorry this is the kind of things you have to hear and that he told your daughter this. Good for her defending you (plus if your just a little overweight thats not obese and even if you are obese or just a bit overweight or your skinny its just rude his comment.) I think with you i think that you sometimes see that they dont really deserve your help but your a really nice person and is willing to do anything to help and then if you dont you feel bad about it. To me that makes you a good person. I still hope you will put your needs first. Just letting you know Im still listening.

[Poo44clooner]

I am sorry if I keep harping on the same thing but I feel comfortable discussing this with you.  I think you get what I am saying.  There was another family gathering  and I had decided not to go because I was tired of their crap.  So my dad calls me and asks why I was not coming. I told him I couldn't.  So he said then who is going to do the dishes. Well God forbid my sisters-in-law or brothers might step up to the plate, no pun intended.  My confidence is not that great. I remember thinking how ugly I was growing up as a teenager and I think at about 16y/o I asked my dad if he thought I was beautiful. He said, "Angela you will always be cute but never beautiful." Needless to say I was crushed. You know I have to ask myself, why at age 50 am I still seeking his approval. I shouldn't  be doing that. Have to stop.
Hope all is going well with you.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[Poo44clooner]

Thank you for your kind words, they do mean a lot to me.  I should take better care of myself and put myself first instead of dropping everything and running to my family's rescue.  It is all about guilt, if I don't do anything about it when they need help.
Yes I do have a wonderful pet.  His name is Poosho.  He is 3y/o, Jack Russell mix.  He is just the right size, not above my knees.  He is such a sweetheart and I love him so much.  He was abandoned twice and my daughter found him on the internet. Funny I swore off getting another pet but when we saw him we couldn't resist.  Every night I cuddle with him, especially when I feel alone and sad, and he lays his head on my shoulder and sighs, that's when I know he loves me too.  We have had him for over a year.  Felt like we have had him forever.  You're right pets are the best.
Hope all is well with you.
FREAK OF THE FAMILY

[senile1]

Hi, am glad to hear from you. I was getting a littled worried. You ever thought about getting out and doing volunteer work. You seem to be a very loving person, there is someone out there that would welcome you with open arms. It feels good when you do something to help others out. I am glad you have pets. I have five cats. two dogs. four horses and a bunch of cows. But my baby is a black cat named 'Shorty' . she does not have a tail. Hence the name . lol. Why don't you come up with another name besides freak of the family? Quit putting yourself down. I bet you are the fun one of the family. I am getting off work, so  i will talk to you when i get back to work to nite.