Pregnant and depressed

[Waby1234]

I am 38 weeks pregnant and while my pregnancy hasnt been 100% easy I have managed to do very well and I have looked forward to the birth of my son for quite some time. However, a week ago I suddenly felt depressed and it has not gone away since. I dont know why I am feeling this way but I cant stand it. I have dealt with depression before and the thought of going thru this again makes me scared to death because these terrible feelings of sadness wont go away. I dont clean my house,  I dont bathe, and all I want to do is cry. I am still working but I feel I can barely do that at times. What is going on that I was happy and content and suddenly I am feeling so unstable? What do I do?

[Bubulous]

Neither my wife or ex girlfriend could have an epideral.  My wife had a car accident which caused a spinal injury and my ex girlfriend had a zit on her back where the anesthesiologist couldn't administer it.  Because my ex girlfriend was depressed I had to take care of her the whole time she was pregnant.  Her mom sent us a lot of things we needed and after the baby was born I got a job which helped out a little.  However, I still didn't handle it well.  That is what led me back into a psychiatric hospital for 90 days.  I realized that it may take me a while to get stable with all the things I was dealing with like mood disorders and a lot of other things so I spared the baby from suffering because of my instability so I told her to go home to her mom in Louisiana.  I think that the depression will go away once the dust settles but don't worry about it not going away because you have no control over it.  You seem to have a big heart and I think you will pull yourself out of this.  The funny thing about depression is that it can go away in a second.  It could happen while you are holding him in your arms.  I am sure you heard about Kangaroo care which benefits you and your baby.  It is simple to do and when you realize that you are helping your newborn and yourself at the same time it will greatly benefit you in fighting the depression.  

It benefits your baby in these ways:
Maintain his body warmth
Regulate his heart and breathing rates
Gain weight
Spend more time in deep sleep
Spend more time being quiet and alert and less time crying
Have a better chance of successful breastfeeding (kangaroo care can improve the mother's breast milk production)
Kangaroo care has emotional benefits for you, too. It builds your confidence as you provide intimate care that can improve your baby's health and well being. You are giving something special to your baby that only you can give. By holding your baby skin-to-skin, you will feel the experience of new parenthood and closeness to your baby. Kangaroo care is healing in many ways, for both you and your baby.

Good Luck and come back here if you need anything else.

Larry

[Waby1234]

Wow that is quite a bit going on and I can relate. I didnt expect to get preggers but my boyfriend and I did pull ourselves together and got a bigger place to accomodate this baby and we both have pretty good jobs. I guess I am just nervous abt. having another child and the delivery. I had some complications last time with my twins and eventhough im having this baby at another hospital because of that very reason im still scared. I am terrified of needles as childish as that sounds and I hate getting the epideral. How did thi.gs work out for you and your girlfriend? How did you handle a new baby? I am just overwhelmed with all thats to come because I am afraid that I will still be in depression and not be able to take care of him like he needs.

[Bubulous]

That makes sense to me too.  You are very close and you probably have a lot of concerns going through your mind.  When my wife was pregnant neither her nor me experienced depression because I wasn't working so I could easily take care of the baby and she had a great job as a nurse which was enough to support us and the new baby.  We were very prepared for our first and second baby.
However in the case of my last girlfriend who I got pregnant the circumstances were different.  We had just got together and she got pregnant about three weeks later.  We had absolutely nothing ready.  I was staying with my mom and both of us worried about being ready to take care of the baby not even knowing each other very well.  We were both put on anti depressants and had to see a dr regularly.  I had juts got divorced and left my wife everything for the sake of my two boys.  I had no job, neither did she.  We had no car, no food, and no money to buy the baby stuff that he needed.  This situation is different than yours but worry causes depression no matter who you are.  I was stressed even up to the point of delivery.  I passed out three times trying to hold her hand as she gave birth to the baby.  We were still not even close to being ready for the baby when he got here.  Don't worry, everything will be fine.  The worries that we have in a day shouldn't be carried over to the next day especially if they are the same worries.  Time will carry on, like it does, and you will feel relief after you have the baby and you get into a routine that is comfortable, with minimal stress.  I wish you the best of luck.  If you choose to let us know how the c section goes and and how the baby is doing when you get time.  What name did you pick out?

[Waby1234]

I dont know... Nothing has changed. I know I will be having a c section on Jan. 29 which I dread but ive known all along that was going to happen..I am also not a first time mom and I do have a pretty good support system but maybe it is just the fact that im afraid I cant handle an infant. I had twins 4 years ago and I thought this would be a breeze to only have one baby but I still question and second guess myself.  I think that is the only  thing that makes since. I also did know of a couple that lost their baby due to him being pre term at 23 weeks and it upset me greatly. I feel guilty for having a successful pregnancy as crazy as it sounds. I have been soo lucky and my little man is doing wonderful and I cant imagine what that mother must be going through. the little boy lived for a short period of time and seemed to be doing well and suddenly took a turn for the worst and it was awful.

[Bubulous]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

If you have only been depressed for a week than it should be easier to pinpoint where it is coming from.  Has the pregnancy effected your routine as of late?  Do you have a husband that supports you?  What has changed in the last couple of weeks, mentally or physically?  You are about ready to pop.  Have been fearing or worrying about being a good mom?  Do you have the benefit of maternity leave from your job?  How are your finances?  Is this your first child?  Have you planned for the arrival of your child (got everything you need to last for a a couple of months, have the cribs and clothes that you need)?  Basically do you feel ready for the baby to arrive and ready for the change it is going to have on your routine and your life?