Quite a Puzzle

[bmwguy]

Hello all - I am a basically healthy 48 year old male that is searching for some answers, like many on this forum.  What a great forum, and thanks to the organizers, contributors, etc!

I have recently experienced some stressful events in my life with my wife, kids, etc. and suffered a relapse of horrible symptoms that I had about 9 years ago.  During the previous episode, I had another very stressful incident (work related) that triggered the same symptoms which include but are not limited to the following:

Insomnia (waking at 4 AM, not being able to get back to sleep)
Depression - empty feeling, sad, not feeling like "myself", etc.
Anxiety - worry worry worry, "What Ifs" spinning around in my head.
Appetite - not being able to eat very much at all, even if they are my favorite foods
Some brain fog off and on during the day

I understand that we *all* worry from time to time, and that's normal.  What is horrible about my situation is that this has now gone on for 1 month *after* the initial events that seemingly triggered this current episode.  I am now starting Paxil (that worked fairly well before), but it is "slow going" thus far and I am sufferinig terribly in the meantime.

My main reason for posting this particular entry is to see if anyone else has experienced the following peculiar symptoms, and to hope and pray that there might be even an MD or someone that was treated by an MD for a similar situation....

The "peculiar" symptom is that on a fairly regular basis (almost daily) during this current episode I feel a "cooling" feeling in my hands at roughly about 4-5 P.M. every day, which is soon thereafter accompanied by feeling like my "old self"!  I cherish these moments, and they usually will remain sustained for the rest of the evening.  Unfortunately, when I go to sleep and wake up the next morning I feel terrible again.

Has anyone else experienced this, or am I crazy?  Honestly, I am basically a sane guy and this is very frequent, almost every day lately.  I am wondering if it's related to hormones, seratonin, sleep disorder, or ???  If anyone has an answer or clue for this you would be be my instant hero for eternity.  

Thank You All!!!

[bmwguy]

Congratulations Fuzzz (I think).  You are the very first person that I have ever known that can identify with what I am saying.  I don't really know if this "sensation" is similar to what you have experienced since mine might be related to my brain adjusting chemically since it is the same time every day.  Lately I am feeling good most of the time thanks to the Paxil, thank God.

But I am definitely going to add "relaxation therapy" to my daily diet, and your advice is very sound.  If I could cause this sensation to occur through this it would be a godsend.

Thanks for your help Fuzzz!!   God Bless You.

[Fuzzz]

The sensation you are describing in your hands, followed by the feeling of relief from your depression, sounds to me like the relaxation response I get at times.  It's not a daily thing for me, but it can be triggered by a sound, a smell, a conversation, but something that triggers relaxation.  Instead of my hands, I feel a sensation in my feet and lower legs.  It is stimulating and peaceful at the same time.  Maybe it's similar to what's happening to you.  If that's it, then you could take relaxation therapy with or without biofeedback and learn how to cause this to happen whenever you want.  

[bmwguy]

Thanks for the reference therese!!!  I will look into that - I always have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge in this area.  When you stated:

"What ever goes on when we are asleep exhausts the brain and the brain 'recovers' somewhat during the day.  If you didn't go back to bed you would feel fine all night, but obviously you cant do this or you would soon pass out!"

...you said a mouthful.  It's a mystery what happens but even when I have felt like a million bucks then fall asleep watching TV for an hour or two then wake during this latest episode (the last month or so) I wake up feeling empty, sad, and depressed.  I have considered trying to stay up on a Saturday night/Sunday morning to see if Sunday would be good, but you're right, that would bring a problem set of its own.

I will look into your reference, and, again, thank you!

Be well and best wishes on your good feelings and successes therese.

[therese83]

What you describe is depression, all the symptoms are a part, it is not depression and.........
I was the same before treatment I was so bad from the middle of the night 'til 4 or 5 in the evening, then I would completely relax.

What ever goes on when we are asleep exhausts the brain and the brain 'recovers' somewhat during the day.  If you didn't go back to bed you would feel fine all night, but obviously you cant do this or you would soon pass out!

research 'human givens' , Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell, they are a group of English psychologists who spell this all out/the connection with sleep.  Get well soon and good luck with it all.  I feel great now, you can recover.

[bmwguy]

Hi again Creston,

I have been really starting to have success with the Paxil.  My body obviously needs it very bad, and my mind is starting to feel like its old self again.  Whether my old self is good or bad, I'll take it ANYTIME over what I have gone through in recent weeks.

I hope and pray that you are able to get the help/medication/therapy/etc. that you need to feel good.  You sound like a very warm, caring, and intelligent individual and you *deserve* to feel good.  I really really sincerely mean that too.

Feel well my friend,  and God Bless and Best Wishes!

[creston1966]

You're Welcome.  I can relate, really can.  The antidepressants sometimes help and seem to bring me back to a relatively good state--for a while.  Not sure over the long haul if they will ever work.  They cant bring happiness and satisfaction.  But may help with mood so you can work on those things.  

No, I dont really have those specific feelings or occasions.  I dont even know who my old self was anymore.  Dont recall any period in my life where I felt whole or normal, let alone happy.  Maybe some of us are just wired or programmed that way.  

Drs usually dont know how to deal with what may be an inner, at the soul sickness.  But they can and should rule out medical cause.  

[bmwguy]

Thanks for the support creston.  Much appreciated.

I can identify a lot with what you said.  I think that a straw finally broke the proverbial camel's back and I lapsed into this once again.  The Paxil is starting to work, but I did make an appointment with my doc for a physiical and blood work, etc.

Do you also feel like suddenly a light switch was thrown, and you are your old self at relatively the same time every day, even on weekends?  I have asked and asked my docs and I also get the blank stare with no answers.  Frustrating - sounds like they could run with that information and really go to town, but I realize that our chemistry is complex.

Again, thanks - and you hang in there too!

[creston1966]

I'm almost 43 and I too have experienced a lot the same things since I turned 40.  I think it is quite common and to some extent normal.  A lot of men re-evalute their life in their mid-40s.  Kids are usually gone or about to leave the nest.  Maybe in the same job for years, and while maybe the pay is adequate, the self-satisfaction may be missing.  Many men change jobs or careers in their 40s and 50s and search for something which gives meaning.  Compound that with marrital, teenager or young adult children, money stress and health issues and you have the making for a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.

I do think you should get a thorough check up to rule out a medical/physical cause like thyroid or like you say hormonal (not sure if men go through a form of menopause; or would that be womanopause since its menopause for women :)).  Probably an element of depression too.

Hang in there.

[bmwguy]

Added....

Once again, feeling empty and without personality all day, plugging away at work, etc.  Suddenly at approximately 4:30 P.M. it's like a light switch was thrown and I feel like my old self.

I need to see a Dr., but still left wondering if anyone here has any ideas whatsoever?

Thanks again!