Suicidal

[greatskye]

i feel my life is hopeless.  i can not think of any reason to live

[smileyhappy]

Hi there,
Please don't give up hope. You have alot to live for, you just don't feel it right now. When your depressed nothing feels good. All the things you like to do are an effort now. Take one day at a time. Get up in the morning, get washed and dressed and eat something.Try to do something you usually like to do and go to see your therapist and other doctors. That's really important. Don't stop that. You really need to be heard, you need to talk. You also need to get back on antidepressants right away.  If you don't, you will feel worse. The psychiatrist and psychologist are there to help you through this and others on this site and of course myself. We have been there some of us, so you can talk to us without feeling guilty.  Since I have been sick, I answer questions like yours to help when needed because I went through it and I know I can help. I want to do this. It's not a bother. So stop feeling like it is. Keep reading your post. One step at a time. Take care, Smileyhappy.

[j17c27]

A lot of times I feel like this...but what I always try to remember (which is so hard when you get really down on life) is that it wont be bad forever.  I know im only 17 but I have been depressed a really long time and have attempted to end my life.  There is so much to do out in the world...you cant possibly be done wondering and being curious at 50! Something that really helps is hobbies.  Buy yourself a camera, or a paintbrush and canvas.  Take up oragami, take a yoga class, raise a puppy, study a religion, work out, go running, write a book, write poetry, sew, TRAVEL! Theres just so much to see and do in this world its incredible.  When we get really depressed we tend to get close minded.  But we cant afford to do that because then you become blind to all the oportunities, adventures, and color around you.  
I have to disagree with the post above me and say that suicide is not selfish.  I say its not selfish because I know how much you have to hurt in order to want to end your life.  You kind of feel like the world screwed you over a little bit.  It is not selfish...but it is perminant.  you WILL die...you WILL! But why make it sooner when theres a whole world out there.  One thing I noticed really helped me was talking to people. Something I plan to do when Im older is travel all around the world...to asia, europe, africa, etc and I want to study alternative medicine.  So instead of taking a bunch of pills for depression, I will go to all these foreign places, talk to a ton of people, get their opinions and just try a bunch of alternative therapies.  WHo knows...maybe Ill become a monk or something haha.  Maybe you would like to do something like that.

Anyway everyone dies.  Its gonna happen anyway.  But before that time, do whatever you want and can to make sure you die with pride and fullfillment.

[Dostoyevsky]

I personally don’t believe in God, nor in love, nor that there can be any true meaning accorded to life—be it an individual’s, humanity’s, or any organism’s.  I believe that every concept in essence can be simplified in its reasoning from an evolutionary/biological perspective; that said, the object of a species’s existence is the furthering of the species, but even this does not ultimately matter.  

Anyway, suicide is selfish.  You must have others in your life who care for you in some way, even if the feeling is not fully realized.  When you experience the imploring of depression to seek an end to this void of zero means, think of these other people—conceptualize how your self-actualized death would affect them.  

And sleep on it.  Literally.  Get a good night’s rest.

[greatskye]

Thank you for the kind words.  I go to the local mental health center for treatment, but this feels like a constant struggle and I am so tired. I went this past week to see my social worker and I feel I'm fighting a losing battle.  Thanks for the prayers.  I just wish I was worth your kindness.

[greatskye]

I want to say "THANKS" to all responses.  I have been battling depression for about 20 yrs or more.  I have been on all kinds of different medications.  I have been in and out of the hospitals for the past 10 yrs.  I had  3 suicide attempts this past Jan.  The 3rd time I was hospitalized.  I know other people care and I am grateful. But I feel I have lived my life (I'm 50) and can not see any other choice.  I have no reason to live.  I may not do it today, but soon.  It's true  "DEPRESSION HURTS!!!!!!"

[innerchild09]

Im sorry that you are feeling really depressed. I know the feeling to feel like theres no hope left and the only thing to do is die. I get that. Im sorry you feel that way now. If you think you are going to do something or really feel the urge to harm yourself definitly call a crisis hotline or go to the er. I think calling a hotline would be a good thing for sure. Hope that you feel better.

[peaches45]

Hi, I am sorry sorry that you are feeling that depressed. I came to this site cause I have been depressed too, but not enough to die. Guess it is true, there are always someone worse than we are. Anyway, I am a christian and I don't want you to think I am trying to throw religion at you cause i dont know your beliefs, but God loves you and He is there for you when no one else is. Please let us know how you are and I too think you should call a hotline and talk with someone...I will be praying for you.
becki

[capegirlnoshoes]

I know the feeling.  In my experience it goes away when the depression goes away, and is therefore a symptom rather than a result of there actually being no reason to live.  Unfortunately severe depression does not just go away overnight.  Since it's severe enough that you're suicidal, you should probably be started on an anti-depressant.  They take a few weeks to work though, and the first one may not work for you (there are many, and many combinations of them).  I suggest you call some kind of suicide hotline and tell them you need help.  They can keep you safe while the drugs kick in and you can talk to them about the issues that are causing you to feel this way so that you can prevent it happening again.  That part takes a while to figure out, but it's worth it.  
The most important thing I can tell you is that this is a feeling, a symptom, not the truth - and that all you have to do is endure, to get through it, and it WILL go away - with difficulty, but it will.