Too much stress

[pinkbadger]

I'm 14. I was diagnosed with depression last year. I was slitting my wrists and not eating. I felt trapped and like cutting was a kind of pressure releasant.
I haven't cut since December 2010. And I'm eating normally again.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months now. He is seriously depressed. He has a very serious heart condition and kidney failure. He also has athsma and ADHD. Every morning he has to take a cocktail of different medication. And then again at 4 o'clock. At 9 o'clock the meds start to wear off. He becomes manic and often suicidal. His parents split up 2 years ago and offer him little support. He turns to me for help. Most evenings I have to message him for 3 or 4 hours just to get him to calm down. I love him. And I'll do anything in my power to make things better. But things are just getting to much for me. I'm only a child and I'm having to cope with so much. I don't want to start cutting again, and I sometimes find myself turning to alcohol as a solution. Please, someone tell me what I should do. :'(

[TORCH89]

You might want to get some answers from a caregiver forum. You're going through alot right now. You having been diagnosed with depression at such a young age and then entering into a relationship like you're in would cause anyone alot of stress. Try to find something that both of you enjoy and forget the bad things in life for awhile.

[lilymoon]

Sounds like you are a very loving caring girlfriend but you know you have to look out for you too!!! It sounds like the relationship is a bit unbalanced,you doing all the caring.Maybe you can talk to him about this? If he cares for you too he will understand he cant solely lean on you.lily

[capegirlnoshoes]

The changes grannienannie describes only happen if you abuse alcohol heavily for a long time.  So don't freak out about sounding like a man and ruining your skin.  A couple of glasses of alcohol can be good to calm the nerves, but you don't want to be getting drunk at 14.  It messes up your brain, and since you're in a vulnerable state it could turn to actual alcohol abuse.  Here in New Zealand the purchasing age is 18 but you can drink at any age with a caregiver or at a private function.  We have a lot of drunkards in school and in university, and a lot of real alcoholics.  I haven't seen anyone under 30 getting a strange voice or having bad skin.  But I've seen a lot of really intelligent people lose their chances at university because of their drinking.  
It's great that you care so much about your boyfriend.  The problem isn't that you are trying to help him, but that you seem to be his only help in the evenings.  One person can't take all that burden every day.  If you get dragged down into depression again, it will only be worse for BOTH of you because you won't be able to help him like you are now - you'll be needing help from him.  So tell him that you'll do whatever you can to help but that right now you're doing more than you can.  You two should try to find some other people who can lighten the load by comforting him some evenings.  

[grannienannie]

well it seem like you have gotten out of your depression and then rolled into another persons. Your too young for so much stress...you need to express to your boyfriend that your worried about him and you went through a lot of depression yourself and you can only control yours right now and that his depression is making you depressed all over again...and you will be there for him but he has to be on the same track as you...your too young for all that depression...and dont drink your voice will change and you will start to sound like a guy..and you would'nt look as your when you are able to drink at 21..and if you continue to drink, when your 21 you will look 34...dont do that to yourself..you need to find something for both of you to do...go skating or to the movies or the museum there is so much your missing by wasting your life feeling depressed...I hope you continue to do good and I hope your boyfriend will get better...keep your head up and stay away from the bottle and cutting yourself..your messing up your skin...