Worried about my boyfriend..

[kllmfae]

My boyfriend is 16 and has told me before that he doesn't see any reason in living. I have been depressed before and I just assumed he was just having a very "black mood" (as my psycologist called it) and that he would get better. I talked him out of it and at the end of the night he seemed ok. He often says that I am all he has left and talks about how horrible the world is. He just seems to be getting worse and I don't know what to do... I don't undersand why he's like this, his life isn't that bad, although I do understand that depression can just happen sometimes. He has low self esteem and hates his Dad, for reasons I can understand (his Dad once told him that he saw me with another guy one day but he and I both knew that I hadn't gone anywhere that night and I have never cheated on him) and he doesn't want to turn out like him. I'm just so confused and want to get him some help but I don't think he'd like the idea at all... He doesn't like people seeing his emotions... Can anyone help me out??

[sammyBAH]

another thing, wat about life does he hate? if its something major like the fact of living then you may need to worry but if its something small like say people actions politics etc then its nothing major you need to worry about he could be just like born into the wrong era so to speak.

sick with it and keep me posted, my situation that i went through previously is so similar its not funny, but i may need to know wat he's like to make any progress.

:)

[sammyBAH]

i went through something similar to this a while ago...
for starters does your boyfriend know your posting things about him, it sounds like he's very hard to crack, talking to him is obviously the best option but if he's anything like myself then he probably wouldnt like you telling people he doesn't know about his personal life/problems.
next don't abandon him, if he's pushing you away, he honestly wants you more, i'd be like that anyway.
also, if he seems close to, or could be in a mood, try not to upset him, i know its not your fault but when things started to annoy me, even a little bit, i'd flip... not literally but still.
and if he's takes it out on you like i used to take it out on my at the time gf, DONT TAKE IT TO HEART... he probably doesnt mean to, you'd just be the person he trusts enough not to bite his head off... you get me?
if hes off and on it could be the situation? or if somethings worring him then it can put him down for he day? not sure, try to make sure you can just be here for him.
just take it steady step by step and he'll grow out of it when he gets into a stress free environment.

but you really need to ask yourself weather he's worth all the work cause to grow ou of i fully is going to take a very long time. its not going to happen overnight.

if you really like him try to follow these steps and dont go behind his back, his face is prettier you get me ;)

[kllmfae]

His parents, well at least his dad, would not think twice if i told them. And if I spoke to his parents I'd feel like I was going behind his back. I've spoken to him about seeing a counsellor and he's not keen on the idea. Him being bipolar is seemingly more possible.

[deebelle3]

His saying those things is not normal for a 16 year old guy even if he appears happy now. Its a sign he is in trouble. Even if he is doing it to get a rise out of you, its still not normal.Can you talk to his parents?. I would also share this, if you are able, with your parents. Might help.

Let me know how things are going!!!

Dee

[kllmfae]

I wrote this entry on a day when i felt he was bad...
but now he has been fine for a while, well ever since i wrote this, and when i really think about it it doesnt last very long when hes depressed and i have spoken to him about it and he doesnt think he is depressed. These things have been spread over a maybe 4-6 month period of time, is there any chance maybe he's not depressed?
We also considered the idea he may be bipolar.

[kllmfae]

He is very on off. At the moment he is fine - doesn't say anything at all that makes him sound depressed. He just sometimes gets into moods like that. So i get confused and don't know whether to just leave him or what...

[kllmfae]

Don't worry I didn't take it as you making light of his situation (: to be honest its nice to have someone with lightness such as this because someone else just said that I am too young to know what is wrong with him and that I cannot help him. So thankyou (: And I agree

[mmmmpppp]

Your boyfriend may have a point about the gloominess of the world and the meaninglessness of life, but remind him of a couple of Woody Allen jokes:

1)  Two women in a restaurant are complaining:  One says, "the food here is awful!"  The other says, "Yeah, and the portions are too small!"  The point being that that is how we feel about life.  We don't like it, but we wish we had more.  (Woody Allen was actually talking about romantic relationships, but anyways . . .)

2)  He divides the whole world into the horrible and the miserable.  I forget which is which, but one group is people with terrible pain or disabilities or tragedies in their lives.  The other is the rest of us.

I certainly don't mean to make light of your boyfriend's feelings.  What's good about these jokes is that it lets one know that one isn't alone in seeing the world this way, but it encourages us to go forth and not be too down about it.

He's a lucky guy to have a girlfriend like.you.  I think that you should let him know that you don't want him to hide his feelings but that it is difficult for you not to be able to make him happier.  Tell him that you wish your love would him feel happier.  It might help him appreciate what a lucky guy he is.  It wouldn't kill him to be happier for you, that is, for your benefit.

[kllmfae]

I don't think he would actually try to commit suicide, he just gets really down sometimes and I don't know how to help. I try my best to cheer him up and hope to god that its getting through.. we live in a small town so its really hard, we dont have any specialists or anything we can go to.

[ILADVOCATE]

Best to speak to a counselor with him or support him going to one. They could decide whether its neccessary for him to see a psychiatrist at that point. If he's immediately suicidal and has active suicidal ideations he should be encouraged to call a crisis hotline or go to a walk in clinic at that point.