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Xanax Overdose - Possible?
I have managed to justify my final action to myself, and I know that it will hurt the ones around me, I just don't care about them any more. I guess that you are almost there when you keep thinking that the worst thing will be what will happen to your cats.
I read different accounts about a fatal dose of Xanax. I think I have about 100mg. I hope that will do it, everything else seems so barbaric. I have ruled out any public displays, I am certainly not after attention.
Can Xanax be fatal? Is suicide against God's will? Is suicide the unforgivable sin?
I read different accounts about a fatal dose of Xanax. I think I have about 100mg. I hope that will do it, everything else seems so barbaric. I have ruled out any public displays, I am certainly not after attention.
Can Xanax be fatal? Is suicide against God's will? Is suicide the unforgivable sin?
I am so, so sorry about your crisis...I hope that your wife recovers and gets the help that she desperately needs. I will pray for you and your family....
Keep holding on....and Hensley gave you some excellent advice on how to get some help. Please take that first step...
We are all praying and wishing you the best in your move forward...
All my best,
xan
We are all praying and wishing you the best in your move forward...
All my best,
xan
I thank God for you all and your kind words. I just - well, I don't know. Everything is so @#$$#$ed up. I don't have time right now for the proper response. I guess that I wanted you all to know that your time was not wasted.
I'm holding on.
I'm holding on.
I started rambling on, i decided to rewrite it all. My situation is that a few hours ago, I got a call from a hospital that my wife had taken 84 mg of xanax, she is still not conscious, but at the moment stable. they can't tell me if she will be okay, yet for another four hours at least, due to the effects xanax has on the central nervous system. She is in a hospital 200 miles away and I have no transportation to get up there. I've been doing nothing but crying and praying for the last couple hours.
The first few posts I came accross in this thread, I thought for sure it had to be her as I read through the comments. These things you say, are word for word, things I have heard my wife discuss with me. My mind is running, and thoughts are coming simulataniously to the point it sounds like a school cafeteria in my head. Whether things could have been avoided if I had done this, or didn't do that, whether this is my fault, or that I didn't do enough to get her better.
I know, so often, she feels she is a burden because of her illness, and the cost of the medical care and medicines, but she doesn't look at or see, the fact that she is indispensible, and everything else is trivial. I am certain that there are those that care about you, and to them, you are not replaceable, the loss would be devestating and tragic. The most important thing, I've learned, is that this time of depression happens in cycles, that yesterday and today, and maybe the weeks leading up to now, you have felt worthless, depressed, devoid of meaning. But this is all just an illusion and while your in that part of a depression, you feel that there is nothing outside of it. You think that your thoughts are clear, but they are truely not; they are clouded by your current state of depression. And you are not the first person to go through such a stage. Others have made it through such times and survived, and you can endure as well. There has been times in your life you were happy, it's just hard to grasp on to those memories at this period of time. And there will be times when you will be again, you just can't see past where you are now. Endurance, is of the upmost importance. It will pass, you will get through it, there is better times. As clearly as you think that you are thinking, it's a depression that is in control right now. It will pass, even if you have unilateral depression, which i don't think is the case, given some of the medications you've stated your taking. My wife is very important to me, and your family feels the same way about you.
I don't know what else to say. I'm rather stressed at the moment.
As far as whether suicide is unforgivable, I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but in my bible there are only 3 references to suicide that I could find. I've asked the same question, and studied it relentlessly for a period of time. I could find no definitive answer either way. The references I found are King Saul in David's time, Judas (i think most people remember him), and a prison guard. There are other cases of martyrdome, which could be consider suicide, as well... I mean, putting oneself in a situation where your demise is inescapeable is not that much different that suicide. People that say suicide is damnable, I find, ignorant of any real basis. If my wife doesn't make it through tonight, I wouldn't want to think that she is damned, just because of her illness.
The first few posts I came accross in this thread, I thought for sure it had to be her as I read through the comments. These things you say, are word for word, things I have heard my wife discuss with me. My mind is running, and thoughts are coming simulataniously to the point it sounds like a school cafeteria in my head. Whether things could have been avoided if I had done this, or didn't do that, whether this is my fault, or that I didn't do enough to get her better.
I know, so often, she feels she is a burden because of her illness, and the cost of the medical care and medicines, but she doesn't look at or see, the fact that she is indispensible, and everything else is trivial. I am certain that there are those that care about you, and to them, you are not replaceable, the loss would be devestating and tragic. The most important thing, I've learned, is that this time of depression happens in cycles, that yesterday and today, and maybe the weeks leading up to now, you have felt worthless, depressed, devoid of meaning. But this is all just an illusion and while your in that part of a depression, you feel that there is nothing outside of it. You think that your thoughts are clear, but they are truely not; they are clouded by your current state of depression. And you are not the first person to go through such a stage. Others have made it through such times and survived, and you can endure as well. There has been times in your life you were happy, it's just hard to grasp on to those memories at this period of time. And there will be times when you will be again, you just can't see past where you are now. Endurance, is of the upmost importance. It will pass, you will get through it, there is better times. As clearly as you think that you are thinking, it's a depression that is in control right now. It will pass, even if you have unilateral depression, which i don't think is the case, given some of the medications you've stated your taking. My wife is very important to me, and your family feels the same way about you.
I don't know what else to say. I'm rather stressed at the moment.
As far as whether suicide is unforgivable, I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but in my bible there are only 3 references to suicide that I could find. I've asked the same question, and studied it relentlessly for a period of time. I could find no definitive answer either way. The references I found are King Saul in David's time, Judas (i think most people remember him), and a prison guard. There are other cases of martyrdome, which could be consider suicide, as well... I mean, putting oneself in a situation where your demise is inescapeable is not that much different that suicide. People that say suicide is damnable, I find, ignorant of any real basis. If my wife doesn't make it through tonight, I wouldn't want to think that she is damned, just because of her illness.
You asked why I didn't do it.... It wasn't because I was afrade of death. I used to be afrade of death before I developed severe depression, but not any longer. The torment of this disease is so bad that I actually fear it much more than death.
I at first decided to live for others, then later I learned how to live for me.
I also had no insurance when I had to spend a couple weeks in the hospital for my depression. I didn't have to pay a dime for it and neither will you, if you utilize a little known tactic. If you admit yourself, yes you will have to pay with no insurance, BUT if a friend or family member admits you and gives a statement at the hospital that they are admitting you because you are activly suicidal then by most state laws it is covered by the state. If you call a suicide hotline and ask them for help with finding a good hospital that accepts this form of state funded mental health care then they can find one for you.
Most (if not all) the volenteers that answer the suicide hotlines, are sufferers themselves. They have a ton of little known resorces and info on just how to do it and where to go. They will find you help with no insurance and no out of pocket.
You need to make that call. Thats what the resource is there for. Utilize it.
I have shown you the way to recovery, now you must take the next step.
BTW.... To hell with pride. I am a macho man too. It's hard to ask for help with this disease when your a man. We're Men! We are supposed to be strong and secure right?
WRONG. Depression is an equal oppertunity destroyer and it cares little about your sex, your race, or your social status.
To hell with pride.
I have given you a ton of info and resorces, including my own personal email address.
You have the tools, now only you can choose life.
I at first decided to live for others, then later I learned how to live for me.
I also had no insurance when I had to spend a couple weeks in the hospital for my depression. I didn't have to pay a dime for it and neither will you, if you utilize a little known tactic. If you admit yourself, yes you will have to pay with no insurance, BUT if a friend or family member admits you and gives a statement at the hospital that they are admitting you because you are activly suicidal then by most state laws it is covered by the state. If you call a suicide hotline and ask them for help with finding a good hospital that accepts this form of state funded mental health care then they can find one for you.
Most (if not all) the volenteers that answer the suicide hotlines, are sufferers themselves. They have a ton of little known resorces and info on just how to do it and where to go. They will find you help with no insurance and no out of pocket.
You need to make that call. Thats what the resource is there for. Utilize it.
I have shown you the way to recovery, now you must take the next step.
BTW.... To hell with pride. I am a macho man too. It's hard to ask for help with this disease when your a man. We're Men! We are supposed to be strong and secure right?
WRONG. Depression is an equal oppertunity destroyer and it cares little about your sex, your race, or your social status.
To hell with pride.
I have given you a ton of info and resorces, including my own personal email address.
You have the tools, now only you can choose life.
I tried it mixing close to 100 mg with lotsa alcohol. All it got me was a stay in the booby hatch. The main thing I'd like you to know id that I'm now glad it failed. Same problems, different solution.
-El Dave
-El Dave
I know that you are in the deepest depths of hell right now but suicide is not the answer. The fact that you're writing here is a demonstration that there's a part of you that wants to survive and hold on.....YOU CANNOT TAKE YOUR LIFE!! I repeat, you cannot - your grandaughters' lives will be affected always - there is no repairing of this. I compare it to cutting off a loved one's arm or leg...yes, you can life, but the damage is severe and deep.
There is hope for you - I, like Hensley,had a severe, debilitating illness - I could barely get out of bed, didn't bathe for days, wash my hair or brush my teeth, barely ate...I lost a well-paying job that I had for 16 years...I won't go on with how damaged my life was from it...but I did recover. We finally found a drug that I responded to, and I was able to slowly pick myself up, and slowly piece my life back together...
There are county facilities and state aid that will pay for your health care and medication. You need to muster up the strength to place a call and make an appt. They are there to help you. There are social workers who will help you with the maze. You are entitled to many state benefits.
Please....give your life another chance. It will be worth it...
My very best,
xan
There is hope for you - I, like Hensley,had a severe, debilitating illness - I could barely get out of bed, didn't bathe for days, wash my hair or brush my teeth, barely ate...I lost a well-paying job that I had for 16 years...I won't go on with how damaged my life was from it...but I did recover. We finally found a drug that I responded to, and I was able to slowly pick myself up, and slowly piece my life back together...
There are county facilities and state aid that will pay for your health care and medication. You need to muster up the strength to place a call and make an appt. They are there to help you. There are social workers who will help you with the maze. You are entitled to many state benefits.
Please....give your life another chance. It will be worth it...
My very best,
xan
You are very kind. but what is it that you have found that makes you stay here? Is it the fear of what happens after we die? Of what everyone will think?
I can't seek medical help. I have no insurance, and this is the second time I have been in this kind of trouble.
I guess the fact that I have come back to the forum is a tiny little bit of me holding on, but to what? And whatever I do have is crumbling. I guess I don't know. I don't want to upset any of you, that's not why I came here.
I guess that a poison control center will be able to tell me what is lethal for Xanax. That's all I have to do it with, all of the other ways seem gross. At least I want to be that considerate.
I hate to do this to my wife, she is so sweet. I can't talk to her about it. And my granddaughters - I can't imagine what they will think. They are only 1 and 4. I guess that they won't remember much about me.
I can't seek medical help. I have no insurance, and this is the second time I have been in this kind of trouble.
I guess the fact that I have come back to the forum is a tiny little bit of me holding on, but to what? And whatever I do have is crumbling. I guess I don't know. I don't want to upset any of you, that's not why I came here.
I guess that a poison control center will be able to tell me what is lethal for Xanax. That's all I have to do it with, all of the other ways seem gross. At least I want to be that considerate.
I hate to do this to my wife, she is so sweet. I can't talk to her about it. And my granddaughters - I can't imagine what they will think. They are only 1 and 4. I guess that they won't remember much about me.
Here's the deal GoingAgain..... If you EVER need an understanding fellow sufferer to talk with then you email me at my personal email address. It is hensley258 at aol.com
If need be I will even give you my phone number and you can call me. I am always home in the late evenings. This is not some BS to act like I understand. I do understand and I know full well the torment of the swurling tempist in your head. Been there several times and I will honestly and personnaly help you get back to a road to functionality.
No, I can't cure you as there is no cure, but I can and will offer my experience in dealing with this most bizzar condition. It can be done no matter how severe your condition.
Hang it there because I swear there is hope.
If need be I will even give you my phone number and you can call me. I am always home in the late evenings. This is not some BS to act like I understand. I do understand and I know full well the torment of the swurling tempist in your head. Been there several times and I will honestly and personnaly help you get back to a road to functionality.
No, I can't cure you as there is no cure, but I can and will offer my experience in dealing with this most bizzar condition. It can be done no matter how severe your condition.
Hang it there because I swear there is hope.
One more thing..... I'm sure you may have tried many meds to gain control of your depression. I'm sorry most of them did not help. I too am medication resistant and I know how hard it can be when meds are not working.
BUT, I do know that you have not tried everything yet. There are meds that work, even for med resistant people like you and I.
There are so many different meds that there is no way you have tried everything. I'm talking 100 plus meds for depression. Not enought time on one life to try all of them.
What about ECT? What about VNS? What about MOA? I can keep going. There are more options than you think and as long as there are options then you must try.
NO ONE is allowed to kill themselves unless they have tried absolutly everything known to man and science to get relief. Given that it is almost impossable in one lifetime to try everything, then you have to keep trying and holding on to hope that a better day will come.
As I say with severe depression.... You do whatever works.
BUT, I do know that you have not tried everything yet. There are meds that work, even for med resistant people like you and I.
There are so many different meds that there is no way you have tried everything. I'm talking 100 plus meds for depression. Not enought time on one life to try all of them.
What about ECT? What about VNS? What about MOA? I can keep going. There are more options than you think and as long as there are options then you must try.
NO ONE is allowed to kill themselves unless they have tried absolutly everything known to man and science to get relief. Given that it is almost impossable in one lifetime to try everything, then you have to keep trying and holding on to hope that a better day will come.
As I say with severe depression.... You do whatever works.
Ok, so if you kill yourself then who will care for your Cats? I know who.... No one. They will go hungry and most likly be sent to a shelter and given a couple weeks to be adopted. If they are not adopted then they will be uthinized.
My stupid mutt dog is what kept me from killing myself back in 92, when I was at my worst. No one would have taken that dog. he only had me and thats it.
Listen to me! There is always at least ONE reason to live!
Your reading the post of a person that has traveled thru Hell too. You wanna talk about depression.... Mine was off the scale severe. I still must work hard with my P-doc to control it. Mine was so bad that I had even became delusional and halfway insane!
I am better and finnaly got help and damn it you can do the same! If some one as severe and totally messed up in the head as I was could find relief from this beast then I know anyone can and that means you too!
I have to take 3 different medications just to keep my depression and anxiety symptoms at bay, It can be done and YES I still work a full time job. It can be done!
You must NEVER give up hope.
I want you to call a friend and have them take you to the hospital. If you have no one, then take yourself to the hospital. If need be call a Suicide hotline and they can put you in touch with a good place to go.
That's where I started and it's the best step to take.
Remember... Even when the beast of depression and anxiety takes over, there is always hope. The beast just wants you to believe there is no hope. trust me there is, you just can't see it yet. The Beast is a liar.
My stupid mutt dog is what kept me from killing myself back in 92, when I was at my worst. No one would have taken that dog. he only had me and thats it.
Listen to me! There is always at least ONE reason to live!
Your reading the post of a person that has traveled thru Hell too. You wanna talk about depression.... Mine was off the scale severe. I still must work hard with my P-doc to control it. Mine was so bad that I had even became delusional and halfway insane!
I am better and finnaly got help and damn it you can do the same! If some one as severe and totally messed up in the head as I was could find relief from this beast then I know anyone can and that means you too!
I have to take 3 different medications just to keep my depression and anxiety symptoms at bay, It can be done and YES I still work a full time job. It can be done!
You must NEVER give up hope.
I want you to call a friend and have them take you to the hospital. If you have no one, then take yourself to the hospital. If need be call a Suicide hotline and they can put you in touch with a good place to go.
That's where I started and it's the best step to take.
Remember... Even when the beast of depression and anxiety takes over, there is always hope. The beast just wants you to believe there is no hope. trust me there is, you just can't see it yet. The Beast is a liar.
well of course you want out. who wouldnt? you have a tough row to hoe right now but it can be gotten through.
When you have goten through the worst of it then maybe you can go back to school and do something you have always wanted to do. Or Travel Its up to you
.In the meantime you have to take care of yourslef and start by some lifestyle changes.
diet . ^ small meals a day.Lean protiens 3 oz per meal Lots of fruit and veggies and grains. NO caffiene or sugar as these both aggravate depression.
exercise even just a 30 minute brisk walk a day will do the trick. It will increase your dopamine and seritonin levels to start to improve your mood.
It will be slow going at first but it will be worth it
get your thyroid tested there are lots of free clinics that will do it. Hypothyroidism will make you depressed and the head meds wont work if this is the cuase of your depression. Make sure the TSH is in range of.3 to 3.0. alot of docs dont know the new tsh ranges . anything above a 3.0 is hypothyroid and a leading cause of depression.
so take care of yourslef and get better. It can be done. then you can help make the world a better place.
Love Venora
When you have goten through the worst of it then maybe you can go back to school and do something you have always wanted to do. Or Travel Its up to you
.In the meantime you have to take care of yourslef and start by some lifestyle changes.
diet . ^ small meals a day.Lean protiens 3 oz per meal Lots of fruit and veggies and grains. NO caffiene or sugar as these both aggravate depression.
exercise even just a 30 minute brisk walk a day will do the trick. It will increase your dopamine and seritonin levels to start to improve your mood.
It will be slow going at first but it will be worth it
get your thyroid tested there are lots of free clinics that will do it. Hypothyroidism will make you depressed and the head meds wont work if this is the cuase of your depression. Make sure the TSH is in range of.3 to 3.0. alot of docs dont know the new tsh ranges . anything above a 3.0 is hypothyroid and a leading cause of depression.
so take care of yourslef and get better. It can be done. then you can help make the world a better place.
Love Venora
I have been through all of the meds, I can't talk to anyone that I know. I've been through this all before. It just doesn't seem worth it all.
My life is ^@#ed. I have hepc (from drug use). I have almost lost everything, now I'm in the process of losing my home. I ran through my savings paying first for herbal therapy, then two courses of interferon. I lost my insurance, now I can't pay for the lamictal I was taking, and even if I tried, lamictal was a pretty stiff liver hazard penalty.
I know that others have had it much worse. Maybe I'm spoiled, I know that I am weak.
I can't concentrate, I hate the way I look, I hate the mean way that I act and think.
I hate the mean, terrible things that happen in this world to people that don't seem to deserve it. Little innocent children killed and mistreated.
I want out, I can't help feeling this way.
My life is ^@#ed. I have hepc (from drug use). I have almost lost everything, now I'm in the process of losing my home. I ran through my savings paying first for herbal therapy, then two courses of interferon. I lost my insurance, now I can't pay for the lamictal I was taking, and even if I tried, lamictal was a pretty stiff liver hazard penalty.
I know that others have had it much worse. Maybe I'm spoiled, I know that I am weak.
I can't concentrate, I hate the way I look, I hate the mean way that I act and think.
I hate the mean, terrible things that happen in this world to people that don't seem to deserve it. Little innocent children killed and mistreated.
I want out, I can't help feeling this way.
you have us to talk to.
We can help I have been suicidal myself but I just couldnt bring myself to hurt the ones that love me . I also lost a very good frien and co worker to suicide earlier this year and it has been jsut devestating for all of us at work and especially his family.
i cnat help thinking about him being is such a dark place that he thought suicide was the only answer. It is heart breaking to know his daughter will have to grow up with this in the back of her mind.
Please come and talk to us about what is going on in your life. You can message me privatley if you like.
Love Venora
We can help I have been suicidal myself but I just couldnt bring myself to hurt the ones that love me . I also lost a very good frien and co worker to suicide earlier this year and it has been jsut devestating for all of us at work and especially his family.
i cnat help thinking about him being is such a dark place that he thought suicide was the only answer. It is heart breaking to know his daughter will have to grow up with this in the back of her mind.
Please come and talk to us about what is going on in your life. You can message me privatley if you like.
Love Venora
please don't do what your thinking about. i'm sure your family loves you and will miss you very much. i've felt the way that you do at times but go on and hope that tomorrow will be better. my brother in law is bi-polar and has planned his death a couple of times. he's been properly diagnosed and is on the right meds now, he's a pretty happy person and never talks about suicide anymore. what treatment are you getting, are you taking anything other than xanax? think about the xanax not working and you being in a coma or disabled in some way. your feeling suicidal, call someone, check yourself into a hospital, just don't try anything drastic. things can get better, i'm sure of it. remar
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