wow, you sound exactly like me although in the past I've been diagnosed as "high free floating anxiety and panic disorder with rapid cycling bi polar disorder" whew!
I am on Welbutrin now and have been for the last 15yrs. off and on.
I have been this way all my life and I am 54 yrs. now. The Welbutrin is
the only a/d that has worked for me without side effects. I've tried a lot
of others over the yrs. A LOT. All of them had severe side effects for
me and I just couldn't hack it. I have also wondered if I was BPD as I
have some of the traits too.
Yes some days are a rollercoaster like nobody would believe. In the depths of despair one minute and then the next I could be right out of that mood and onto another.
You are not alone.
Hi! Both of y'all sound like you feel just like I do. It's actually good to know that I am not just a crazy lady. My moods almost always are influenced by my environment. I have a special needs son who is 19 and an 11 year old who is has bipolar w/depression so I know my load and it's always a heavy one. But I was just telling my husband this morning that I know I have triggers, even the silly dog will trigger a mood. I can't change my environment so what could I change? I am on Wellbutrin also. I have tried other anti-depressants too but it seems to be the only one that takes the edge off. Every day after my day is over, that is when I can get back to myself and unravel the events and moods of my day. I think to myself, wow, I evidently have little control over how I feel. Recalling my day just makes me feel negative emotions all over again and triggers another roller coaster. I know I used to be a sweeter person but it's getting harder.