confused

[gchicklet]

Ok,  so several months ago I  was  severely depressed and suicidal.  I'm now in therapy and doing better.

I've been suicidal at times in the past  and when I  got over it,  it was over.   this time however I'm back in that mindset even tho I'm doing better and making positive changes and not even feeling  down most days.  But I  am pretty constantly thinking on it again,  and have had impulses to go through with it more than once.   Obviously I  haven't but it's confusing and doesn't make sense even to me.

help!

[Jinx_777]

are you taking any anti depressants right now????
for me, any anti depressant that was not tricyclic caused me to feel that way.  in fact, any medication that say's 'if you have suicidal thoughts discontinue' WILL surely make me feel that way.
when on ssri's the thoughts would just pop in my head out of nowhere.  i could just be mowing the lawn and thoughts would pop in my head.  same thing happened to me when i was on chantix to quit smoking

[Paxiled]

Nothing in life makes sense when you think of it.  If you continue to feel better my guess is this thinking will go away.  But people think of all kinds of things.  Fortunately, almost none of us do them.